Had to take a day off to bartend some parties. Which got me thinking. Would love to have Bayside be your NYE choice. We’ve got the Awesome playing, and the whole thing is Caddyshack themed. In order to get more BoPoers, I’m selling tickets for $5 off to anyone in the league, and lanes are only going to cost BoPoers $10/hr. Come hang out with us.
Now, the top 5!
#5 Off Constantly – 6th Season; Captain – Dick One; Division – Tuesday A
What? These guys are coming off a .500 season and an early playoff exit. McQueen is leaving town and the lady twins haven’t played since last year. Originally I considered those factors and had them ranked 9th. But then I remembered those two banners on the wall. I also know noone gets fat and happy like these guys, and they have now followed up both their titles with average seasons. However, when they are coming off non-winning seasons, they get hungry again. Oz is a boss, and Nuber did damage in Draft League. Dick is looking to rehabilitate his bowling image and desperately wants to be at the top of the averages, so he’ll put time in. Tron should be around some when he returns from Guam. I know it doesn’t make a ton of sense, and maybe BoPo is a new world now, but these guys should never be overlooked, especially when they aren’t defending champs.
#4 Yay! – 2nd Season; Captain – Ralphie; Division – Thursday A
Yes, they’re young, and sure, they’ve had trouble in the playoffs. That said, Yay! looks like Thursday’s best shot at a champion this year. They will be a good case study (sort of like L.O.S.) on how much to read in to Draft League results. Based on Draft alone, these guys look like a powerhouse. The dudes combined for 24 200 games. Yao Romo and Tom “Don’t say I’m overachieving” Smallwood both took turns on top of the leader board, Jewdy put up multiple 240+ games, and Probie turned it on for the playoffs. Then there’s the ladies. Mona Laudley was a consistent weapon for her squad, and Ralphie was the #3 girl in the league. They have the talent. They’ll get past the name-fight. They even get a regular season shot to exorcise their XXX Club demons. Ralphie will need to keep them on the same page, but if she does they are a serious title contender.
#3 Back In Black – 2nd Season; Captain – Gutterboy; Division – Tuesday A
They’ve had some shakeups, but the core of BIB is back, and it’s a hell of a core. Stevie Strikes has won the last two Top Dawg trophies and is a heavy favorite to three-peat. Gutterboy and Bama won doubles, and played great (as usual) in Draft League. That top three is better on paper than any top three in the league. There is no depth, though injuries aren’t usually an issue. That could come back to haunt them again in a semis match when they will have to roll six games in one night. They made an outside the box move in signing a hungry T-Square. She will definitely put in time. They are also reaching back to their past and bringing back Teggie (Jimichanga is still out there). We all know they’ll be excellent. Anything less than a banner would be a disappointment for them.
#2 Still Living On A Spare – 5th Season; Captain – Alley-Luejah (and child); Division – Tuesday A
Speaking of reading too much into Draft League, I may be doing it again. LOS’ Twin Towers of Precious and Cheese flat dominated it, and led their teams to the finals. Now they’re back together, and probably want a title more than any other duo. Alley-lujah is due around finals, I think, so that loomed as a wild card until she made a tremendous Captaining move – she re-signed Coco. No one saw that coming after Coco and Natro’s split with LOS after the 2010 season, but with Natro moving to BEER, LOS pounced to lure her out of retirement and it could be a difference making move. Lost in the shuffle almost are two solid bowlers, Mr. Stiffy and Shithawk. While the bird may be in a delivery room for the semis, Mr. Stiffy should be available, and he can get up for big moments. Motorboat will likely step up her game to follow her teammates lead. These guys will be tested early, playing Walkaways in week 1. I can’t wait.
#1 Sons of Danarchy f.k.a. Walkaways- 1st Season; Captain – Danny Diesel; Division – Tuesday A
I held off as long as I could, guys, but we’ve got to get the name out there now so teams know who they’re chasing. Last year’s Walkaways get the top spot because, well, they’re the champs until proven otherwise. Booth is back after sitting out Draft League, the rest of these guys everyone’s been seeing a lot of. The Dentist had another successful Draft League season. He will have a few weeks of 180’s, but then have one week of multiple 230’s. Valley Girl is back and noone wants to win more than she does. Diesel struggled in Draft, but he steps it up for BoPo. Plus he may have made his best moves already with his free agent signings. To replace Coco, they brought in rookie sensation McStriker. She appeared on the scene this Spring and has gone from newbie to 2nd best woman average in draft league. Then they replaced Finals MVP Natro with a great pickup, Dwayne Luther. He and McStriker, often have their names up on the Top Bowler chalkboard.
This team is very good, but they are facing the fact that no team has ever repeated in BoPo. They hope to be the first.
This is going to be ab exciting season!
LOS is the team to beat.
Double Cheese just went 235, 236, 257 in succession. Wow.
U know we still talkin bout practice right?
Yes Double Cheese and Precious were on fire last night. Until they showed up all the non-bowler folk who were they for parties – thought I was just amazing – course they were the same folk who were getting excited if they did not throw a gutter ball! I did pick up a wicked split though 🙂
Then DC and Precious showed up and were throwing strikes like it was nothing and the lowly folks mouths just dropped open.
And one of the girls on the other lane was trying to pick up either DC or Precious – she was simpering all over them – Never a dull moment at Bayside! Just a cauldron of seething testosterone – my favorite part of course!
Well the Cheese sat out too long and turned to mold when the @TDYOB boys rolled in:
210, 150, 143
Nonetheless a tidy 205.2 avg.
Word is DC might be injured too, does this hurt their preseason ranking? Will he be out as long as Tango?
Word on the street is the TDYOB boys rolled a 600 just the three of them defeating Cheese, Big Dick, and the Honey Badger?
Gonna be big scores on this pattern, keep the bar stocked for beer frames Hungus.
Please, I wasn’t even at the lanes last night. You need to check your sources. Would I have been there I can assure you I wouldn’t have lost to those ass clowns on TDYOB. That just doesn’t happen.
If you haven’t noticed I have two banners on the wall, next time you are there come grab me, we will get down to our socks, ride the rail over there and I will let you touch them.
#iamachampion
We ain’t in the top five???? Ha! Laughable man! This slight of hand will not stand man! The rest of the league will pay for this shit!
Also early exit from the playoffs???? Please, I think you are confusing our team with yours Hungus. Early exit would be the first round, not the quarterfinals. We checked out in the quarters because we knew Oz wouldn’t be there for the finals.
Captain – Dick One
That made me laugh out loud! I think not! #1 wouldn’t even know what bowling was if it wasn’t for me. I am the one true captain of OC. I bowled this team to a title in a fucking wheelchair for christ-sakes!
Give me my proper fucking respect, or I shall take my talents elsewhere!
#putthatinyourpipeandsmokeitontheroof
$53.63 is cheap for a shot of sweet love!
How comes we got edited out??????
So the rumor bill is ablaze with talk of Duchess and Cheddar’s inevitable return. I notice Hungus did not mention them in these writeups. What team will they end up on, or is it too early to talk about 2014?
Before Cheddar went down in that blaze of glory, tears in his eyes, head against the bench, while the Y&B team jumped up and down around him in triumphant celebration; his plan, all along was to join BUI. Don’t see why that wouldn’t be their landing spot upon return (should they still be together which is always a tad dicey). Especially now that Snapshot is capable of Hungusian bowling scores.
Word on the street is BEER wants nothing to do with the ongoing Circus that is Duchess and Cheddar.
BUI is full and I am now the top female bowler on that team. So Duchess will just have to roll with someone else – cause I will totally take her down to keep my spot.
No offense to the other female on the team – Prancer who is a good bowler and looks adorable when she prances down the lane -but since she is in love with a Dr she does not have the same need to to blow off some excess tension.
I on the other hand have enough built up tension to take out a small city – so I will just take it out on the pins instead – so I expect to hold my top female bowler spot on BUI and hopefully hold a respectable spot in the overall league.
I don’t always bowl with an erection.
But when I do, I bowl with an erection.
It is nice to know you are UP to your name Mr. Stiffy
60% of the time, it works, every time.
What are you looking for now?
Favorable lanes?
Something has to be up….
I can’t wait until BoPo is a senior league… that is going to be HILARIOUS.
Yo Hungus, Dick said I have to kiss your ass now that we are running The Program (YES, YEAH! STARTING DEFENSE! PLACE AT THE TABLE!!!); so here it goes: Thanks for all you do running this league. The write ups, the scheduling, the sweet reduced lane fees, any and all of it because I know it is a ton of work. I for one appreciate it. Bowl Portland rocks! Was just talking to someone the other day at the lanes, and was like what is the plan for the banners after the league has been going for like 30 years, will they be hanging from the ceiling? Bowl Portland is a very unique and awesome league, good luck to all, except when you are playing us.
Roll Bowl Portland!
Shut up Thunder.