Tuesday Lines

We are less than one week away from opening night.  Holy crap.

Game of the Night

A-Div (5:45) #1 Sons of Danarchy (-1) vs #2 Still L.O.S.: The rumors are true, Precious will miss this game.  That takes a lot of luster off this matchup.  Still it will be very interesting.  The defending champs have some new faces that are BoPo rookies.  Double Cheese should be dominant in this game, but how many points can he wrap up?  This will be a good test of LOS’ depth, as they’ll actually need good games from Stiffy, Shithawk and Alley-lujah.  As for S.O.D., the Dentists has disappeared since draft league.  Diesel is looking to rebound after an ‘off’ Draft League, and McStriker and Dwayne Luther get their first taste of The Show.  Valley Girl looks like their most consistent bowler going in.  It’s a little silly to say a team ‘needs’ a win in week one, but if it’s possible, S.O.D. needs it more, with Back In Black, O.C. and B.E.E.R. their next three.  If LOS goes down, well, Precious wasn’t there and they move on.

Early Games

A-Div: #12 Cunning Linguists (-5) vs #14 Nutz:  The Linguists could be a darkhorse this year.  They have a lot of Draft League experience, and a top tier woman in La Gatita.  Pauly Ringwald is the most consistent of their guys, but Gutterslut and EHD have big game potential, and even Col. Angus throws the occasional 200.  The Nutz started slow last year before a big finish.  They may face an even tougher task this year in Tuesday A.  Bustah and Peanut are the only Draft Leaguers.  Herbie has yet to be heard from.

B-Div: Three Livers (-1) vs Splits Happen:  Both these teams have been off the radar a bit.  Wilma and Bernie are known commodities for 3L, who are BoPo originals.  Fred was ticked off by being ‘demoted’ to B Division.  Meanwhile Xander is still trying to fill a few roster spots on Splits Happen.  That doesn’t sound good (unless he signs some late ringers).

B-Div: No Eye Deer (-1) vs My Balls:  This game has the potential to be very good.  Both teams are in the top half of Tuesday B and would like to start strong.  NED’s Shifter Pawl is looking to make a run at top bowler in his division.  My Balls are in their sixth season and have seen it all.  Barry and Bubbles bring their Army of the North.  One word of advice, avoid the bowloff – Shifter dominates those things.

B-Div: Saucy Posse (-1) vs UREA!:  What S.O.D. vs L.O.S. is to Tuesday A, this game is to B.  These teams were right on the division border and should battle for a B title all year.  UREA!’s T-$ and SauPo’s Walter will duel with Shifter for top B average all season.  UREA! made some moves, shedding Tecumseh and picking up Steff Infection/Mos Teff.  They also have a motivated Knuckles.  SauPo may have a little roster turmoil, but Walter and Hot Sauce are a strong 1-2 punch.

Late Games

A-Div #3 Back in Black (-3) vs #7 Binga’s: Back in Black was the favorite last year, and after a week or two may be the favorite again this year.  Stevie Strikes is the overwhelming favorite for Top Dawg, Gutterboy is reigning KingShit, Bama won doubles with Gutterboy…their top 3 is best in the league.  Their girls will be their wild-card.  New pickup T-Square will put in the time, and Gutterboy’s mom is rumored to be making a comeback.  Binga’s is looking to get back in the championship conversation this year, but may get off to a slow start thanks to Tso’s sword-handling incident.  Cookie and Chernobes are great running mates for former MVP Jamaican Jerk, but they need Tso to beat the top squads.  However it unfolds on the lanes they’re guaranteed to be enjoying themselves more than their opponent.

B-Div ICBING (-3) vs D-GUTS:  I’ve heard Peanut Gutter can’t help but roll 220’s now.  He’s got Honey Badger back, and Fabio could make a run at comeback player of the year.  D-GUTS Cap’n Collection got his team to rally from bad to average in Business League.  We’ll see if they can bump that up a notch.

A-Div #6 B.E.E.R. (-5) vs #11 Strikes of Hazzard:  This will be a fun one.  Body English will have a whole new feel with the well-traveled Natro taking Cheddar’s spot on the roster.  Filthy has been getting some work in and is hungry to return to action, while Slow Roll and Queen Bee look like they could make a little noise.  Hungus is eager to erase the memory of last year’s playoff loss, but that’ll have to wait til April – this game will be about the new team vibe.  Tom Richards is key to that.  The Strikes could be dangerous this year.  Deputy is a real candidate for the all-star game and Uncle Jesse dominated the Captains’ tourney.  I’m not sure what they’ve got after the top two though.  These two teams may run into Binga’s a lot between games.

B-Div Incredibowls (-1) vs Pinups:  I don’t know much about this matchup.  Boston from Incredibowls is feeling pretty good about himself after a Media League title, and I think there is now a Sweet Baby Lou, Jr.  The Pinups are under new management heading into their sixth season.  They hope that leads to a new direction for a team that has yet to have have a signature year.

A-Div #5 Off Constantly (-5) vs #8 Turkey Club: Folks thought OC was overrated, and XXX Club underrated.  Well I guess we’ll find out.  Turkey Club won’t sneak up on anyone this year after their magical run to the finals in their first season.  It will be very hard to duplicate that success.  Roadhouse has been as strong as anyone lately, but with Tango down their roster gets thin.  Herk is tested, but can Samsquampch deliver consistently?  Is Tootsie back?  Bora Bora will need a huge night.  OC is primed for a bounce back year.  Nuber and Oz bowled very well in Draft League, and Tron and Dick got a lot of wins.  Their women have been out of bowling since April but they should have enough to cruise in this one.





9 thoughts on “Tuesday Lines

  1. Dwayne Luther is also missing SOD’s first game due to being in Columbia. Before you start asking yourself, why the F(can I swear on this, cuz gosh I sure want to) is he in Columbia? STOP! There is no need to call attention to what may or may not be up his butt, and what may or may not make our family rich. So, just stop thinking about it and go about your boring lives.


    1. Aren’t you on NED? Let the man fucking talk for himself. Or does he have a Columbian neck tie?

      1. Or just wait ten minutes and Blunder will ghost post as him.

      2. Well, excuuuuuse me for thinking y’all might want some inside information on Dwayne’s butt

      3. Hey guys, sorry I can’t make opening night. I’ve been winning free bowling like every other week and was looking forward to killing those tools on LOS.

        Columbia is beautiful this time of year, but I’m actually at the University in NYC finishing up my MBA because I am smarter than all of you.

        Dirty Sylon is nowhere close to the bowler that I am.

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