Week 9 Lines

Well, that was a little better.  After my worst week of prognosticating yet (1-7 in week 7) I correctly predicted 6 of 8 last week to move my season record to 30-28.  That’s a 52% success rate.  In the gambling world you need to hit 55% to break even.  Good thing I never gamble.

Early Games

Blurred Lanes (5-2) -3 vs Eskimo Sistas (3-4):  The Sistas have forced themselves back into the conversation and are clinging to one of the last playoff spots.  The Lanes, meanwhile, have started to get some separation and could clinch a spot with a win tonight.  Fun fact: The Dentist was actually Robin Thicke on Halloween, not Beeteljuice as most assumed, which actually makes way more sense given the team’s name.  I think I get it now.

SODA (5-2) -1 vs In-N-Out Bowlers (3-4): In-N-Out games are pretty easy to predict.  Someone wins 8-7.  The team has one 8-7 win and three 8-7 losses.  Those seven points per loss have kept the team at the top of the losing teams in terms of a playoff spot, but eventually they need a few wins.  The Professor needs to work out some master plan, and quick.  The Soldiers of Dan’s Animals are cruising and look to have a postseason bid locked up.  They are operating like professional mercenaries, quietly killing pins and plundering wins.  The Yay boys are enjoying the freedom to embrace their inner killers.

Wet Bandits (6-2) -3 vs Touch Me Ralphie (4-3):  The Ralphs missed Halloween but that may have been a good thing to let tempers calm.  Some would call Ralphie’s hurling objects at a teammate ‘good fun’, but in light of the Incognito story it looks more sinister.  No word yet on voicemails she left on E-Minor’s phone, but so far he hasn’t left the team.  The Bandits are in the playoffs already but would love to put a stranglehold on 1st place.  Stevie and Valley Girl are dominating their respective genders.

Alis (3-4) -3 vs Shatner Face (3-4): I never know when Precious will be in town and that is usually the best predictor of Team Ali success, but they have proven they can compete without him.  They should be able to handle Shatner Face either way.  The S Facers held on for an 8-7 win last week despite team scores in the 500’s twice.  Plus Hot Sauce actually lost a doobie in his beard, it was crazy.

Late Games

Prestige Worldwide (3-4) -1 vs Preemptive Strikes (4-3): This pick makes no sense but Prestige has their backs to the wall.  Wait, I just remembered this is Dr vs Tango week.  Why has the smack board been so quiet?  What’s going on?  Tango brings the top average of either team into this game.  Actually the Pre Strikes have three folks on the stats board (Tango, Pauly and Ishmael) before you get to the first PW bowler (Nuber at #40).  The game is late, which favors PW.  I don’t know.  I’ll just stick with my initial hunch in spite of all evidence pointing to a different result.  Again, good thing I’m not a gambler.

Lazer Cats (4-3) -1 vs Tsonadomi (3-5):  When I mentioned to Filthy that his team may have a hard team making the playoffs he noted “well, that’s what a five game losing streak will get you”.  Yeah, true.  There is still time though and this team is loaded if they get everyone to show.  They’ll need all hands on deck against T-Square’s charges.  They’re looking good at 4-3 and Bama and T-Money have started climbing the ladder. I’ll pick the team not on the 5 game losing streak.

HHH (5-2) -3 vs Bustahs (2-5):  The Bustahs are struggling to get wins but would get a play-in spot anyway right now.  They’re more focused on their team average right now than wins, but they’d still love to beat Hexy and crew.  HHH re-enter the ring looking to put a stranglehold on a playoff spot.  Wow I’m out of material right now.

Imminent Threat (3-5) -1 vs Clam Hands Mafia (3-5):  Once upon a time Cheddar won a draft league with Invisible Hand on his team.  Now they face each other as Captains in a last ditch game from both teams.  The loser is left just fighting for the play-in.  Jamaican Jerk vs Cheddar used to be the  league’s marquee matchup, but Jerk is off his Top Dawg form from BoPo and is scuffling in 13th place.  Cheddar is making a strong return to the league and is in 5th with a shot at 3rd.  So that’s another good storyline.