Oh man, it’s here! Playoffs! Playoffs? Playoffs!!!!! We just completed our wildest regular season ever, hosting the PBA and introducing the world to BoPo via ESPN and a very excited Randy “How you like that, BoPo!” Pedersen. Now we demonstrate why the league is so great, by having just as much fun and partying just as hard now as the regular season even as we are competing. Have fun out there, and good luck.
For early games if the match is decided in two games, the match is over. For late games, if both teams want to play a third game even though the match has been decided, go ahead.
Early Matches
Guns of Brighton (5-7) -1 vs Off Constantly (5-7): I know I’m not the only one that circled this match as must-watch 1st round bowling. These are big name teams that have to battle each other early because of lackluster regular seasons. They are also teams that turn it on in April, so the winner of this one is not a team to be taken lightly going forward. OC is Dickless for this one, and having only three guys can be a big advantage for developing a rhythm. Bustah, Oz and Nuber give OC a great shot. GOB has rookie star Railroad and perennial all-star Mr. Pickles, both of whom struggled late but who are both capable of putting up big numbers. Seatown should be able to grab points at will and Invisible Hand is going to manage to win. Can’t wait to watch this one.
Back In Black (10-2) -5 vs No Eye Deer (8-5): A whole lot of black shirts in this one (and one notable tank top). BIB is the #1 seed in the tourney and one of the last teams out there that seems invincible in an otherwise wide open season. They are loaded with all-stars, and the rookie Brooklyn has filled the Stevie Strike void admirably. BIB has been pushed in the first round a few times, always prevailing in the end. No Eye Deer was not psyched with this matchup initially, but then embraced it. This is a franchise-making opportunity, and they will give it their all and bring an amazing energy. Burt The Bandit and Dirty Sylon have to be great, and Tush Christ has to provide a bonus spark. If they can somehow force a game three they will have a rowdy crowd cheering on the underdog.
Sons of Danarchy (7-5) -1 vs UREA! (4-8): Don’t be fooled by the records, this one could be a barn burner. These teams played each other just last week with SOD escaping with a 8-7 win. T-$, after a mid season slump, has been on fire for the last three weeks with a 200+ average. No one on SOD is bowling like that. SOD does have the better depth on paper, but they also may be a bit tight after losing in the first round in a big upset last year. They will look tot The Dentist who has been their most reliable bowler, hope Diesel and McStriker rebound and that they get ‘good Booth’. UREA needs Cro Magnon and Purple Nurple to have strong games, and hope Knuckles and J-Bird get their points. This is another great 1st round match.
XXX Club (7-4) -5 vs Roll Another (9-4): This one does not look close on paper, but playoffs often produce crazy surprises. XXX Club is a popular pick to win it all this year according to brackets that have been submitted already. They have all the talent they need and now will shift into winning mode and play the hot hands rather than splitting games evenly. Roll Another didn’t even have their opponent show up on Sunday, but they’ll take the win and relish the shot at a top team. This is the 8th year for this franchise, and this would be the signature win for them if they can pull off the upset. The Package and Uncle Buck often show up strong for big games, but they’ll need Chupacabra to have his career night.
Late Games
Body English (6-6) -3 vs Bowled and Beautiful (4-8): This is a game several folks have as their first round upset. BEER has lost in the 1st round before, and B&B had a huge 1st round upset last year. While I do see a battle I think BEER gets through. B&B added the amazing rookie Viking in the offseason (after their magical win over SOD last year) and he is coming off a 286 this weekend. Pretty impressive. They also have Mr. Mayor who unnerves opponents by slowing the game down and breaking up opponents rhythm. Billy James, Saw and Beaujolais are all capable bowlers as well, and Jenerator has won about 37 championships in Restaurant League. BEER finished the season 6-2 after a slow start and seem to just now be finding their groove. They have 17 title game appearances between them and should be able to hit the playoff switch. It will be a battle, and if Viking rolls 286 again all bets are off. But Slow Roll and QB should take care of points and Natro, Filthy and Hungus are all bowling well. McQueen is the ultimate wildcard.
Bingas (7-5) -6 vs Granola Bowlahs (4-9): Luckily for Bingas this isn’t a contest of picking up 7-10 splits, that’s Colucci’s jam. This is a regular old bowling match, and Binga’s is thinking big this season. They will take care of business here. Granola is stoked to get tho smatchup and is probably even more excited for the post-game party at the Stood as they are for the match. They will go down in a blaze of glory and pungent smoke.
Yahtzee (9-3) -6 vs BILF (7-5): This is a rematch of last year’s 1st round playoff game, but unfortunately for BILF, Yahtzee parted ways with Bowldemort and are unlikely to have a bowler pass out in the lane (unless Sparkles is feeling it this afternoon). BILF is ready for the challenge, and if DeLoose Cannon can get off to a quick start his strike celebrations alone can propel the team. Old Thumper has had big games in the past and Major Danks just needs to stay positive after open frames and battle. Downpin Abby is going to be crucial, BILF needs depth and low points to force a game 3. Yahtzee is another popular finals pick, and they do have the players to do it. Cheddar is Cheddar, and Sparkles seemed to regain his form by the end of the year. Pauly is wildly unpredictable but could easily stroke 200’s all night. They should have this wrapped up in 2, but would like to see some strong games from Lala to build on (though they got a sweet 200 from Rotini last week so maybe it doesn’t matter).
Strikes of Hazzard (5-6) -3 vs B.U.I. (4-8): After General Lee handled Walter Ray it’s tempting to just pencil Hazzard through and forget this game, but a closer look and some questions come up. Sure he’s the best bowler in the match, but Hazzard is pretty unpredictable. Plus BUI has had multiple 200s from all their top three dudes (Duke Thunderwood, G-Unit and Snapshot). No word yet on LB Davenport, and obviously he makes a giant difference. Candy Dix vs Hexy is a great battle, and Marne Asada is a quiet killer. I like Hazzard but I think this goes to game three at 5-5 or 6-4, and if this is the only game three that counts, with a whole crowd of drunk BoPoers cheering on every shot, all bets are off.
It’s telling that two upsets from 2014 are the biggest vote getters. Just because YOU weren’t in BoPo til 2013 doesn’t mean it didn’t exist… Learn your history, kids.
It’s like trying to say LeBron is the best to have ever played the game, when the only thing you know about Jordan is his silhouette on Nike Airs. Not to mention Cousy, Abdul-Jabar, Robertson, or Russell.
Learn to count second highest vote getter happened in 2012.
#livinginthepast
#historyis4washedupdickliquors
No TDYOB over OC in 2012? Must not have wanted multiple upsets over one team…..
It is fine upset watcher, we did not consider it an upset.
Roll BORK!!!!!!
If “finding their groove” means losing 14-1 in the last game they played then yeah, Body English is locked in.
Who’s the one with the BO?
Wait til they get a whiff of us!
Time to hit me with the Febreze kids!
These lines just fired me up!!!!! Gonna be great viewing.