Well all this rain and school vacay week mean I have to get in early today and open the lanes by noon. That said the lines must go on! So, quickly now. I tried to accommodate early vs late requests, and give teams different lane assignmnets than last week with projected closer games in the middle.
L.O.S. (10-3) -6 vs Hazzard (6-6): No General Lee – at least that the word out there. He’s in North Carolina, something about a job. Uncle Jesse has been known to lie about attendance and it gives him an unbelievable belly laugh every time someone falls for it, but this one came from the horse’s mouth. L.O.S. is without Precious, so that evens it back up a little, but while L.B. Davenport may battle Cheese, Hazzard will be hard pressed to match up the rest of the way through the roster. They will have more fun and sing a good song, but at the end of the day L.O.S. keeps their hopes alive of being the first repeat champ. LOS wins 8-2.
Lesiure Rolls (9-4) -1 vs B.E.E.R. (7-6): I had this line the other way before Saturday’s doubles win by Magic/Gatch over Precious/Cheese. The Rolls are looking to make finals runs in their first two seasons. BEER is looking for a 4th finals appearance in 6 seasons. This is one of the few games that both teams probably think they are the favorite. It’s an unusual setting for both teams. Leisure Rolls never won outside of Thursdays, BEER went winless in it’s early games. This is the first matchup ever between the franchises and should be a pretty lively affair. Look out for playoff-time McQueen. Rolls win 8-7.
Back in Black (11-2) -8 vs My Balls (10-3): Back in Black looks like they have a pretty cushy ride to the semis. They get another B team here in My Balls. The Balls have some high score capability, and even have a 300 roller on the quad in Wej. But Back in Black doesn’t leave you many openings. On the rare occasion Bama or Gutterboi struggles to a 150, the other one rolls a 200 and Brooklyn is right there too, plus Gutterboy’s Mom is probably crushing another 160+. They look like the team to beat still. My Balls can put together big games, and if they have one of their best games in game 1 it’s possible BIB could tighten up a bit, but I think that’s just not going to happen. BIB wins 9-1.
Sons of Danarchy (8-5) -5 vs Saucy Posse (6-8): Well, well, a rematch! SauPo actually pulled off the upset in the regular season, and advanced to the sweet 16 again despite having a rough season and not having their best game in the playoffs either. To make matters worse they are now missing Beef Stroganoff too. That may open the door for more T-Bear who has been the most constant bowler on the team. Walter is still capable and Hot Sauce saved the season with a 214 in the Sunday Shootout. S.O.D. has been wildly unpredictable all year but have to like the matchup. They have a revenge angle, though they shouldn’t need it. They have a much higher average and just need to bowl, well, average. The Dentist has been pretty solid, would be nice to see Diesel return to form. S.O.D. wins 10-5
Late Games, a.k.a. The Party
Cunning Linguists (11-2) -6 vs Incredibowls (10-3): This is weird. The Linguists got all they could handle from the Budweisers. Gutterslut made a must-hit spare in the 10th frame of game 3 (following a last frame split from Buds) to win on the final shot. You’d think Incredibowls would be excited, but instead they have asked for a B only tournament, celebrated their “one win” they will get, and posted online about a 14 point spread. If they are trying to lull the Linguists to sleep it won’t happen after last week. Or they really have no confidence, which is a weird state for a franchise that used to celebrate it’s playoff achievements. They have Spidey who could return to form, and then a solid crew around him. The Linguists are the better team, sure, but it’s rare to see a team act so defeated pre-match. So, I’ll bite, and take Linguists in two. Linguists win 8-2.
Bingas (8-5) -1 vs Cape Fear (6-8): Alright, here’s a good one. Binga’s used all their destiny magic to survive an upstart Granola squad, overcoming a 100 pin game three deficit to win on the last frame. Cape Fear nonchalantly (well, they just kind of act disinterested and calm regardless of the situation so maybe that’s the wrong descriptor) took care of a solid Guacabolwe team in the 1st round. Southpaw will find plenty of oil on the left and battle Jerk all night long. Brentanimo had a good playoff start and between he and Soccer Dad they will really push Cookie, Tso and Mango. Chernobes has the edge on paper vs Bacon and Pip but the Fear girls have been steadily improving. I could definitely see an awesome lefty vs right bowl off in this one. Binga’s wins 8-7 or 7.5-7.5 bowl off.
Guns of Brighton (-1) vs Yahtzee (10-3): As I described BEER/Rolls, this is a game where both teams think they are the favorites. G.O.B. has last year’s quarterfinals win over Yahztee as their proof, Yahtzee has their stellar regular season. G.O.B. had the most sensational win of the first round in a game that lived up to its billing against a proud OC team, winning in a bowl off with captain iHand doing it himself. Yahtzee didn’t get pushed at all and this is their first real test. I think that makes a difference. Jon Moon is still hurting but did get some sort of back injection, Mr. Pickles is bound to be Mr. Pickles again soon and Railroad has 250 potential every time he grabs the ball. Add to that an advantage on the ladies side with Seatown’s average besting Lala and Rotini and you have the edge in my book. Cheddar is a gamer and will fight til the end, plus Yahtzee did shed Bowldemort. Sparkles has flashed signs of 2014 Sparkles over the last month. Deputy has his first real title contender to play for. Ringwlad is an absolute wildcard. I like the experience of GOB, 8-7.
XXX Club (8-4) -7 vs TDYOB (6-7): It’s been a fun run for the army of players that make up TDYOB, but it looks like it will come to an end here. Coach Thunder is long gone, backup captain Farmer also appears to be gone, Lou Dawg is getting told to stop dancing by annoying spectators. They will be relying on the old core of Y&B, ITZ and Pistol. Munson has given up on his throw and started two-handing, Shifter should be back but his first few days off the boat are always an adventure. Brandy is the saving grace but that’s a lot of heavy lifting. The Club is on a mission this year, and may have finally found the right 4th guy in E-Minor. Herk has been the Sparkplug guy that most championship teams have had, Tango has been great, Bora was an all-star and Roadhouse will be fine. I think TDYOB forces a game 3 barely, but loses 11-4.
5 thoughts on “Yes, Lines”
Hungus, betting against SauPo again, I see! Bad form, Karl. I’ll show the dentist which cavity needs filling!
^ Who brought the douche?
Who is on Strikes of Hazzard????
Regardless, prepare to be crushed!!!!
Chris and Kerry
I was joking about the 14 points. I think the team will show up and give everything they have. Legendary to pull it off, and everyone knows that we come to win every week. I had a death in the family and wont be there, but there will be cries of “Lets win this for God of Thunder”. Kick ass kids. You know you can do it.