Swett Band -2 vs Lincoln Logs: Is this the season of Crackerjack? A new roller comes to town and starts dominating the league, we’ve seen this before. But will his first title come so easily? His Swett Band team, captained by an actual Captain in Brandy, looks really good. The Dude is coming off a great last week and a stellar doubles debut Tuesday. Shifter’s 2 handed experiment is mercifully over. Honey Bunny brings championship experience to the table with 2 titles. They look really strong, but at this point all the teams are strong. Their first opponent is Lincoln Logs. T-Square knew what she was doing when she took Cheese 1st and he is delivering in the playoffs. This team’s players have 7 major titles between them, pretty impressive. Gutterslut, Jon Moon, Mokiki and Gutterboy’s Mom round out the roster, and are capable of big games in a supporting role, but in a game where Cheese won’t be able to dominate the other team’s number one I think they’ll fall a little short. Should be a great battle.
Wolverines -1 vs Direct Beaver Contact: Roadhouse and Tango used to seem inseparable. They lead their team to the finals in their rookie year of BoPo. They built a franchise that was a regular title contender. Now they are splitting up, with Tango following his lady friend to Yahtzee, and Roadhouse left to rebuild the Club. They will get to settle this divorce on the lanes tonight. Their two teams have been out in front most of the season. The Wolverines have only one loss and have won with a variety of lineup combinations. Last week Slugga opened with 9 straight in one of their dominant wins, and this week it looks like he will be in the hospital at game time (good luck, Slugga!) Roadhouse lead the league in average the first half of the season, and Deputy has been turning it on late. They lean on Marne Asada Shooter McGill as their other girl retired after one week, and Marne Shooter has delivered. Then they add Sparetime, a proven big game roller. Direct Beaver is captained by Walter, who hasn’t had a signature series yet but has been solid as a #2. His top pick Tango is having his best year ever (in advance of his BoPo move to Yahtzee, look out!). Yao Romo is a solid player who has had plenty of big games at Bayside. Nugget looks like a matchup advantage here, and Beaver has done more than just lend her name. Sir Marks A Lot is a wildcard with 120-220 range. I’m going with the team that has been in 1st all year, and with the spurned T-Club Captain to beat his wayward charge.
Then I have Swett Band winning it all, though I’ve gone back and forth on this. I think the Wolverines will miss Slugga, though Sparetime is a solid number three. Wolverines have the slight advantage of no subs, but Crackerjack will carry his team to a title and announce his presence as one of the big dogs in town.
So who won?
Sweet Band 8-2 over Wolverines.
As much as I would love to still be rolling this week, I am not on the Wolverines. From one 26-games-girl to another, let’s go Shooter McGill!
As much as I am a fan of commissioner Hungus and these lovely lines I must say that this is the most egregious error in the history of BoPo lines. Marne and Shooter have very little in common other than being awesome, bowling a ton and having a bunch of sweaty alcoholics for teammates. I mean Marne’s kind of hip, Shooter’s a blue collar lady, Asada rolls slow and McGill throws straight gas. One’s tall & one’s short. On behalf of the good folks of Bowl Portland I’d like to say: We know who’s who! Mr. Commissioner, as Destiny’s Child once sang ‘Say my name, say my name/You actin’ kinda shady/Don’t be callin’ me Marne/Better say my name.’
Oh Hungus why have you forsaken us?!!?!?!?
Thank you.