Tuesday Take Two

Well this is the last week for all-star qualifying if you care about that kind of thing.  Honestly on Tuesdays it’s pretty hard to figure out, as of the current top 12 dudes I figure at least 6 will not be playing (LB Davenport, Tom E Gunz, and Ripcord in other leagues on Wednesday nights, General Lee at Masters in Indianapolis, plus Cheddar and Splinter won’t qualify for a games minimum).  Oh, and Karl Jr. is due on the 19th so my spot may open up too.  Anyway, if you’re into it then I wish you luck tonight.

Oh, quick reminder to all teams that you need two playoff eligible women to qualify for the playoffs, so if you don’t have a second woman with many games it’s not too early to start thinking about that.

Game of the Night


Splits Happen (4-1) -1 vs No Eye Deer (4-0):  Oh man, these two teams are full of swagger.  Tush Christ is planning a bestiality display in the parking lot and Splits Happen is planning to read and reread the lines to see if they can find a slight against them.  Well you don’t need me for bulletin board material, Splits, N.E.D. will take care of that for you.  Honey Bear has had some really strong games for NED and Burt the Bandit is always a threat.  Xander has done his usual heavy lifting for Splits but has been getting solid help from new signee Tinderella.  This is going to be a barn burner.

Early Games

#6 Turkey Club (3-1) -1 vs Sharks and Strikes (3-1):  I called a 12-0 Club season back before I knew how Ripcord celebrated birthdays.  I lost that bet, but I still think they are an excellent squad.  Of course now I hear Roadhouse will miss several more games.  I’m not sure which ones.  Sharks and Strikes is right on the edge of the rankings after a big win over Bingas.  They bring Railroad into the match, who was briefly linked to the Club.  Of course their signing of him led the Club to sign Buck Ripcord.  Advantage Club.  E-Minor needs to bust out, maybe the early game helps him do that.

Strikes on Tap (2-3) -7 vs Three Livers (0-5):  Once upon a time we tried to organize a BoPo summer whitewater rafting trip up at 3 Livers’ place.  It ended up just being me and two now retired bowlers Tillie and G-Vo.  I belted out Karaoke until Wilma took the mic from my hand to save all the neighbors.  Anyway, perhaps we can try that again this year.  Strikes on Tap evens their record in this game.

My Balls (2-2) -3 vs ICBING (2-2): My Balls has now lost back to back 8-7 games.   As for ICBING, I heard tell of a double salmoning last week, and you know 2 Dogs, Fabio and Peanut Gutter know what buttons to push against Barry Violet.  That said Wej should be back this week and eager to get the team back on track.

Budweisers (2-1) -5 vs Wrecking Balls (2-2): Back to early for the Buds, so I think that means back to the win column.  These guys may have the starkest divide between shifts of any team in the league with their constantly amped up rev rates.  The Wrecking Balls simply post too many sub-100 scores to win many games.

THURSDAY MATCHUP: Fuckin Chuckits (2-2) -5 vs Bolwderdash (0-4): Welcome to Tuesday, guys!  We’re all excited to have you and promise to be excellent hosts.  We’re looking forward to seeing the likes of Oolie, Ramrod, Lou Dawg, Boys McCracken, Michael Bowlton, etc.  As far as your direct competition with each other I definitely have to give it to FC, though an 0-4 Bowlderdash is hungry for an upset.

Late Games

Bingas (2-3) -1 vs S.O.D. (2-2): This is one of those underrated rivalries.  Of course everyone loves their matches with Bingas, but this one features a couple of former Bingas in Diesel and Valley Girl battling their old buddies.  The women matchup in this game is outstanding with all four (McStriker, Jess, Chernobylayne and Knuckles) looking like sure fire all-stars.  I’ll call that a slight edge to SOD, but the SOD dudes haven’t been bowling at the level of the Bingas dudes.  Advantage, Jerk.

#5 Saucy Posse (4-0) -5 vs Ball That (0-4): Well the records indicate this won’t be too close of a match.  SauPo will be Splinter-less, but they do have new podcast information font Nut Sauce (who will wrap up an all-star bid).  Samsquampch will try to continue his surprise season and finalize his all-star bid needing just one more game to qualify.  With all the absences next week, Beef Strokinoff may have an outside chance at an all-star bid with a big night.

#4 Back in Black (4-1) -7 vs Strikes of Hazzard (0-5): It went down to the wire but BIB finally took a loss last week, 8-7.  They still look fine and should place a whole bunch of players in the all-star game, and will get back on the winning side tonight.  Hazzard is a surprising 0-5, and with General Lee at the Masters today will fall to 0-6.  Who woulda thunk it?  In their defense the schedule has been tough and definitely lightens up in the 2nd half.

Incredibowls (4-0) -3 vs BILF (2-2): This is a rivalry that dates back tot he 2010 Media League.  Major Danks’ crew surprised WGME for a title, then lost the next year to a Boston/Spidey/God of Thunder team.  They’ve been battling ever since.  Danks brought his brother to the lanes last week and he performed extremely well, wonder if he’s a permanent addition or just a one time fill in.  Incredibowls should survive.

#1 Yahtzee (4-0) -5 vs Cape Fear (1-4): Yahtzee gets to try out their new #1 ranking, I think they’re looking forward to it.  Tango has been dominant this year and Rotini and Sparkles look like they’ll be able to grab all-star spots too.  Cape fear throws a surprising number of 200s but can’t seem to get the scores to line up at the same time.  They may push this to three games but I can’t see them knocking off the top dogs.

Body English (3-2) -1 vs Off Constantly (2-3):  BEER  gets the whole gang back together for this old school clash, with QB and Filthy back from Hawaii and perhaps even a Hacksaw sighting.  OC usually fields a full squad against BEER too, so should mean Oz will be there.  When they have Oz rolling with Bustah, Nubes and all-star eligible Honey Bunny they put up some big numbers.  With 15 or so players between them tonight, this one will come down to guessing right at lineups, just catching a break or two.  Strangely BEER has morphed into a better early team this year, and OC is pretty comfortable late still.  Lots of fun, and perhaps the last game before BEER adds a new, extremely young player.

8 thoughts on “Tuesday Take Two

  1. We crossed and we concurred. FC is in it to win.

    P.s. The Tuesday tunes blow it out of the water. That may have pushed us to win. Thank you Tuesday!

    1. Dear Tuesday, In honor of the Chinese new year we got you a present: Oolie. Enjoy the bench grinding and fog horn.


      1. Dear Tuesday, We the people of Thursday make no apologies for Oolie’s behavior, nor for all the broken hearts and pins left in our wake once we sail home to our regularly scheduled awesomeness of Thursday PMs. Don’t be sad when it is over, be happy that it happened.

      2. Hate to admit it, but pretty bummed we got the FC Portland stolen from our Thursday night party this week.

      3. Dear Tuesday,
        Please take Dr. Blunder from us.
        xoxo Thursday Night

        “Shit moths, Randy. They started out as little tiny shit larvae, and then they turned into shitapillars, a pandemic of shitapillars. Everywhere you look, Randy, shitapillars. I tried to put an end to the shitapillars life cycle, but I failed. And now? Shit moths.”

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