What’s up? Everyone’s favorite Thursday Celebrity Roller Oakie the Acorn (Milk Jug) is back for an encore. I’m not like some cornball prognosticator like that Tuesday B tool Captain Skanks. I didn’t add up my predictions from last week because quite frankly I could give a f%ck less. What I do know if we added it up I would probably be 100%, as usual.
So here is the deal. Once again Dungus books a private party so me and my Thursday crew can’t get in the doors until 7:40 p.m. I don’t know about you but when I am the late game and my wife Oakie the Tree Limb allows me to stay in town before the late match I get to the bar at 4 p.m. and pray for a 150 night.
To Thursday lines got a text from Spare of the Dogs that said Tuesday doesn’t know how to party and they won’t get a win all year. Look times are tough we got to stop all this Tuesday/Thursday hate between us and be one. I got a lot of people I got real love for on Tuesday and real love for on Thursday. This is BoPo if we could do them all on one night at the same time we would and we have. Roll BoPo!
We all late because as I said Hungus has no regard for Thursday he treats it like he treats his tightie whities he farts in them and if they get some shit on them well f them!
5 Finger Discount-got to admit that is one hot ass name! Natro’s move to Thursday has been a complete and utter failure outside of having a ton of fun, being back with his awesome lady and waking up banged up on Friday rather than Wednesday.
Game of the Week
LOS -5 (1-0) vs YB2 (1-0): Yeah CJ has a 220 avg but they also beat a team on which Natro averaged a 111 by 3, so come on. LOS is no joke. Stiffy was seen practicing Wednesday night (that’s what turds do). YB2 can talk on the podcast all they want about how they a contender. Until Pete starts practicing again, Itz doesn’t throw his first ball at the seven pin, Powers and $ step up they got two people and LOS has 4 people that can stomp on you every time they hit the lanes. LOS wins this one easier than turning off the new podcast after 4 minutes. Although props on the Dick Allen interview, although how would it have gone if like Farmer and Cheese they came up with their own questions??? Ouch podcast on podcast crime is in vogue!
Guns of Brighton -5 (0-0) versus Tats and Tits (0-0): I didn’t look up teams averages or records because quite frankly none of that shit is credible after one week. You know what is credible Ralphie thinks Hand is her bitch and vice versa. Battle of front of the house versus back of the house. GOB coming off a bye is about to go on an 12 week bender, and you know what I am in! Everyone on GOB has oiled the lanes or held hands with someone that has oiled the lanes. That gives them the advantage. That said Ralphie’s crew of Rubbys, TC, RE G the M the newlywed ain’t gonna be pushed around by some surly mechanic and his crew of misfits. Purple Nurple looked like an ace in Draft, but I think Sea Town rises up and is the different in this match.
TDYOB -3 (0-1) vs Lions Den (1-0): TDYOB lost a close one to LTs last week Thunder and Spooky-less. Word on the street is Thunder made a last minute play to get Rick Vaughn on TDYOB. Not sure if that is true or not, but apparently Rick said go fuck yourself. Like, “Got my own car.” That makes this a grudge match. If there is anything we know about TDYOB is they lose to everybody A or B it don’t matter, but something makes me think not tonight. Das, Jem, Caveman, Rick and Mokkiki are going to want this game more than any since they joined A. Gonna be a straight up BoPo party your ass off want to beat each other at all cost funfest. It is to this Milk Jug Acorn what this league is all about, that said I haven’t been here since inception. Great movie “Inception” if you haven’t seen it a real mind bender especially for a guy who’s wife is his sun and moon and his only reason for getting up and being human everyday. Oh yeah no Sneaky in this match we hear so someone call Thunder a cab as this is his opening night. I’m setting Thunder over/under at 145.
Like I said Hungus books private parties on Thursday and not Tuesday so we got a bunch of Friday games this week.
Touch My Excrement -5 (0-1) over Bowled and Beautiful (0-1): This is a grudge match right here Friday Night under the Lights (FNL)! The Excrement crew (wait I think that is Xcite not Excrement, good because Touch my Excrement is just a dirty ass name), ah the Xcite crew that is stole B&B’s acein the form of Viking and Mr. Mayor is going to see that Viking has to wait long and hard before throwing any shots tomorrow night. Scores were super low opening night so I don’t put much stock into a B&B 513 avg but if they don’t turn that around the Xcite crew will absolutely slaughter them. Even if they do I am thinking Xcite is too deep. Hopefully these teams will let bygones by bygones and throw down in full out BoPo regalia for first FNL BoPo night of 2017! I predict the King and Queen throw big scores on this Friday night date night event! Not to mention it is Friday so I expect G-Slut to be extra #slutty in this one.
Guacabowle -3 (1-0) vs UREA! (1-0): Despite the loss of the injured Automatic UREA! got off to hot 1-0 start. Now they match up with noted Giant Killers “You still hanging out here?!?!?!!?!” brothers and sisters of Guac. Love me some Guac and strong squad that is also a ton of fun. They get loose and let loose on the pins. Gonna be a fun Friday night for the often reserved and low key folks at UREA! win or lose. T$ is an ace so don’t expect him stuck on 143 long he will figure this shot out soon and unleash big scores, but Guac’s depth will be too much for a lot of teams this year on Thursday night as the 2 handed Cumstein is starting to rock pins!
Leisure Rolls -1 (1-0) vs BUI (0-1): Wow BUI struggled without new Dad, props to you G Unit, now time to start working off the pregnancy gain by crushing some pins your team obviously needs it with that 513 average. Wow did not see that coming. LTs escaped TDYOB in a narrow Gatch nude match 8-7. This will be a great match. I expect BUI to bounce back “bigly” but that LTs “midlevel depth” will prove too much. It is a Friday night so look for Gatch and Space Cadet to got blackout drunk and for SC to set a garbage can on fire after the match.
One thought on “Thursday A Lines”
Well done Oakie, as per usual.
You’re a killer space cadet. An absolute assassin of garbage cans.