We have finally made it to the last week of the regular BoPo Season. It’s starting to get a little warmer out there, and we start to dream about coming out of our caves soon to see the sun for the first time since October. And all of us fantasize about a deep playoff run that we can talk shit about forever (see TDYOB 2012 Semifinals run).
For many, the season was one crazy ride, kind of like this (best to start at the 2:20 mark to get the full effect):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1x2BgEX4rw
For some, the sadness of the season’s end is crushing, an abrupt smack in the face (or many smacks, as you realize that Thursdays, Fridays, Sundays won’t quite be the same…):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WZLJpMOxS4
For others, not so much, they are looking forward to a night off from Bowling:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZVGf3ePIO04
Early matches for me this week. Pretty sure none of them have any big stakes on the line, so I expect a crazy party from BoPo and just insanely good tunes from DJ Atomik to send us off on the right foot. Use this as inspiration for your 80’s gear for the Bowling Ball!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjYG4Y4R464
Why do you dance with a shoe on your hand and face make-up? Maybe Hungry Eyes can tell us…
On to the matches:
Spare of the Dog (-3) v. 5 Finger Discount – Dutch (who is considering a name change to Duck) was on the podcast this week, and proceeded to laugh a ton and say a little. He wasn’t sure about his team’s chances of getting their first win of the year…but I am positive it won’t happen. Spare of the Dog has quietly been improving lately, which should secure them a week off next week and then a match against a team like XXX Club, which is sure to make XXX Club smile. Might make Bombpop and Yao smile as well, as they are looking forward to a lot of golf this spring.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGceRzSQFZ0
Looking forward to my invite!! Text me Bro!
5 Finger will be playing in the first week of the playoffs, and are slotted to get a team that even they can beat. And then they’ll have to win again to make it to the final 32. Expect wins next week, but not tonight. Shout out to Duck!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbLrbycNC5I
GOB (-1) v. Touch My Xcitement – GOB has been one of the surprises of Thursday A, sitting in 4th place in the division and definitely in the top 3 for beers consumed. Touch started out strong this season but have faded a bit as the season has progressed. Getting top 6 in Thursday A gets you a “home” playoff match on Thursday instead of travelling to Tuesday, so there is something at stake for Touch.
Hand was so inspired by his theme song from a couple weeks ago he decided to get the entire team to rob a bank. Here is him and Seatown putting in a good effort:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwvGIyL2GiU
Here are Holden Green and Purple Nurple’s try:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_84gBlRZwO0
Roll Another (-7) v. Bad News Spares – Roll Another has their banner hanging at Bayside now, and they must love that the “B” fell off the banner so it reads 2016 Champions. At least they have that going for them. They aren’t making the B playoffs this year, so will have to be content with a comfortable win over Bad News Spares to close their regular season.
Here is a great clip of Roll Another letting Bad News Spares know they had a great season:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSQxtMWJzGQ
FC Portland (-3) v. Happy Hands Productions – A couple of teams playing out the string in this one. Which means they should both bring a high amount of party to Thursday night. Which means Ram Rod will be hammered…oh wait, that’s every Thursday night. Here is a failed attempt by Ram Rod to go home after the match tonight (kids, don’t do this):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_EhyT1l3JM
ICBING (-3) v. Granola Rollahs – I am making this pick based on Suave Lefty not being there. If he shows, the line moves to -9. ICBING should be able to take it either way, and then take their chances next week with whomever they play.
I love the story of Suave Lefty…Fabio has a neighbor who has been bowling forever but had never made it into Bayside. ICBING needed a sub, so the guy walks in for the first time, for some reason gives himself the name Suave Lefty, and proceeds to roll a couple 2-teens followed by a 299. He reported the energy was better than he ever imagined, and that BoPo and Bayside exceeded expectations by a ton. Just loved everything about it. And for a guy who had never seen the bricks before, he came soooo close to getting one of his own. Looks like we have another convert to the ways of BoPo.
Teams looking to add a ringer of this caliber in 2019 are asked to get in line behind Fabio and Dr. Thunder. And everyone else:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byUVR04CMBU
Granola has had another fun winter of knocking down a few pins, drinking a few beers, having a few laughs, and eating a ton of granola. Hopefully they get their whole crew out for one more regular season night of fun, and go out with a huge Kid Loose inspired dance party.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4L5yGU4R90
Over the course of the year I have tried to have a blast with the lines, and I am sure I offended some folks (looking at you, Dick Whitman). So maybe this video of me at home will provide a good lesson:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjLoP6vg1fE
Only one more month of BoPo…lets not waste it. This tune was recorded 2 days before I saw my first Phish show, but they played it to open when I saw them, and I was a fan for life. What a day…sunny July 1991 afternoon 2 PM start in Vermont, me and buddy George sitting in the sun getting loose, and some dude comes up and goes “Acid?”…we just looked at each other, smiled, and knew that the day was going to be a great one…
THE GAME WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Dude you forgot UREA! v. Linguists.
I’ll alert Statler and Waldorf…
Statler is on it, like I said Waldorf has a job in interviews 1-4 then THURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSDDDDDDDAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
UREA! -15 vs Strike City: UREA! goes undefeated, and no one gives a fuck.
There you go.
You have hurt dead Freddie Mercury’s feelings. Little do you know, the great citizens of Bolwhemia have been rope-a-doping all season and are primed for the greatest dark horse underdog upset in the history of bowling.
Line changes after Intel from Magnus:
UREA! -10 versus Strike City: UREA! goes “undebeaten” after Magnus circles the wagons.
Sorry J-Bird, thats on me. #thatswhytheycallitdope
Urea! (-9) v. Bowlhemian Strike City – First off, I want to thank J-Bird for reading the lines. These things take forever to do, glad someone read them.
Urea! has emerged as a B favorite this year, and Hungry Eyes represented himself well on the podcast this week, handling what must have been a crazy intro to Farmer, Thunder, and the gang. He even spilled beer like a champ, so the guys got a future in Bopo. He’s a big Patrick Swayze fan, but lacks the bowling chops to hang with Roadhouse. Here is his favorite scene of Patrick Swayze:
The rest of the squad is killing it, and C-Murda and Casual T will be fielding offers from other teams this year, just like their turncoat T-$.
Just kidding, they still like T$…maybe. Time will tell if they leave the squad, but an undebeated season and a B Title would be a nice way to go out.
Strike City is wrapping up a fantastic season of tons of beer, lots of fun, a few strikes, and even fewer wins. But hey, playing a spoiler in the last week of the season is a great way to close it out. Or, more likely, getting crushed and preparing for their visit to Family Feud…Here we see The Brush, Magnus, Red Fury, Lil’ Rusty and Hunger Strike on their debut:
He spilled beer on my new fucking carpet? Damn you Hungry Eyes
I may not have bowling chops, but I do have cleaning chops. And all witnesses to this event were, let’s say, under the influence – memories might be hazy…
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mOD0XCm57d8