Thunder Takes on Tuesday B

Tuesday B and Poultry Ass, Whomp, and Splits Happen are all on a bye.  Well their Tuesday night is going to absolutely suck.  For those that are playing let’s get cranking:

Early (Fake Late):

Bowl Trolls (2-0) -10 versus Hookers (1-1):  When it comes to handicapping a match the first thing one always considers is team average.  Your favorite trolls on the block sport a 40 pin advantage on this so:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHbL9MFtzZU

Fuge told me the other night, “Fuck your Super Bowl hangover and fuck you.  Ain’t no hangover for the Trolls we are coming out taking ass and kicking names!”  Literally an exact work, that and the guy watched the Pats game this past weekend in literally the cheesiest sports bar in America.  The guy has shit taste, but he runs a tight ship and he has Gutter Slut, Honey Bear, Abbazon and crew are ready to unleash hill on the Hooker crew.  Hollywood runs a party crew, and she needs to figure out a way to get her girl going.  Rotini is way under historical, don’t expect that 137 average to hold up.  I expect a breakout night from Rotini, but the depth of the trolls to be too much.  This will be a real test can two party teams get loose during a fake late match or does all fake late just suck ass.  Here is Fuge and Honey Bear after the match:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1kejVGS-5q0

Wrecking Balls (1-1) -5 versus Mindz in the Gutter (2-0):  The Noyes boyz have gotten off to a hot start well tonight they meet their maker.  The Wreck went out and grabbed Xander and Dude, so they could survive Lulu’s 85 average.  The Dude actually got cut by BEER proving that water is actually thicker than blood.  In a savage anti DJ burn Lulu and the Dude were seen staring at their phones in a picture of the DJ booth proving that Tuesday may actually be the snoozefest everyone claims it is.  Well hit the alarm clock because you may win this war but the Mindz in the gutter crew will definitely be winning the party battle.  This group of regulars crush tabs at a high level.  Word on street is they wanted Thursday B, but Hungus wanted to balance out party rankings and tab war in Tuesday’s favor.  Here are the Noyes boys after the match:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8n3ZzWKXaU4

Real Late:

NED (0-2) -5 versus Burners (0-2):  Well it looks like these guys literally have no idea how to bowl.  Burt the Bandit was a breakout star last year, now he is back to his roots as a 150 bum that has no clue where the ball is going.  Tush more concerned about his outfit than keeping it on the lanes, and the rest are rudderless until these guys get it going.  Spidey has been hot garbage too.  Well here come the Burners.  Taygod, McDabbin and crew can barely keep it on the lanes on a good night.  Taygod is taking another run at last in average, David Bowlie may be going through bowling withdrawal doing two maybe three leagues.  McDabbin actually off to a good start with a 156 average.  Expect Burners to get a little more wasted than NED in another fake late party match and that and a return of Burt to be difference in this one.  Here are Burt and Tush after match:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhQfioID0ok

Incredibowls (1-1) -1 versus Buds (1-1):  The Incredibowls are off to a terrible start.  Sporting a 540 average, complaining about the DJ music, honestly anything more cliché than a bunch of old people complaining about loud music?  Live look in and God of Thunder:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cQeNrNo1So

Honestly guy would rather listen to KISS and Chicago all night while he grinds out the 150s.  Thought average age on squad went down when they kicked Spidey to the curb apparently not.  Buds don’t care about music they are just here to kick ass and drink beer and they are almost out of beer.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PsBz7MAm_KM

Strikes on Tap (2-0) -3 versus B.A.R.E (0-2):  Clashing styles in this match.  Strikes are here to stare at their phones and crush pins, BARE is here to party their faces off and hope they can still see the pins.  ScrapperJohnMR is the heavy for the strikes squad sporting a 172 average a 200 on the young season.  #JEALOUS.  Happy for BARE at 166 and a 200 will have to keep pace and battle it out for top points when these guys lock horns.  New town drunk Sticky Fingers has zero clue where his two handed ball is going, and it has landed him a 136 average.  Most likely because he spends more time in the smoker’slounge than on the lanes.  I look for the new guys to start off 0-3 as they make their way to Tuesday B doormat.  Here is Sticky Fingers having some teammates over for pregame:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRcLTmBB6Ow

Ball That (2-0) -10 versus BILF (0-1):  BILF coming off a bye gets a Tuesday B heavy that has come out the gates hot.  Squamch Glicious and crew are ready to treat Major Danks, Old Thumper Downpin and crew like the cupcake they are.  Watch out for Ball That this season they can make a run at this B title, while getting loose on the lanes.  Expect this one to be over in two while Danks bores everyone to death about the Pats, Bruins, Red Sox and Celtics.  BILF is just here to try and keep it on the lane and to enjoy the losses.  I’m expecting a 20 pin average drop for Danks after this evening.  Here he is on the way home:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egim7vP-n9c