An ode, entitled O that the mighty, hubris fill’d
or
The mighty struggle of Brave Hazzards against the unstoppable tyranny of Lil’ P
or
A $120,000 college education, wasted
O that the mighty, hubris fill’d,
exercised and tight of spines,
would fail ‘gainst Hungus’ betting lines
and the Hazzards fight on gamely still.
But causes just and noble do
collapse and fade inevitably
when Riggs and Pirate, Harlyn P
show up and drop the hook on you.
O, call not for the gurney yet,
for Cooter’s in the second set!
But Boss Hog, stach’d and inconsistent
couldn’t match the Dozen’s roll
or that of blue-backed Two Hole Joel.
Upset hopes grew faint and distant.
If only in the third game Jeltz’d
continued in the deeper funk
and, grasping for deliverance, sunk
and likewise DHD had melted.
But Fortune smiles so rarely on
the redneck bowling facial hair’d
and from their fate she never spared
The Hazzards, thus their race is run.
But Dirty’s off to further reaches –
against the scamps who vanquished Bubbles
and, barring any staffing troubles,
Beware, you red shirts! Guard your peaches.