#6 Dirty Half Dozen over #22 Strikes of Hazzard (by Jeltz)

An ode, entitled  O that the mighty, hubris fill’d
The mighty struggle of Brave Hazzards against the unstoppable tyranny of Lil’ P
A $120,000 college education, wasted


O that the mighty, hubris fill’d,
exercised and tight of spines,
would fail ‘gainst Hungus’ betting lines
and the Hazzards fight on gamely still.

But causes just and noble do
collapse and fade inevitably
when Riggs and Pirate, Harlyn P
show up and drop the hook on you.

O, call not for the gurney yet,
for Cooter’s in the second set!

But Boss Hog, stach’d and inconsistent
couldn’t match the Dozen’s roll
or that of blue-backed Two Hole Joel.
Upset hopes grew faint and distant.

If only in the third game Jeltz’d
continued in the deeper funk
and, grasping for deliverance, sunk
and likewise DHD had melted.

But Fortune smiles so rarely on
the redneck bowling facial hair’d
and from their fate she never spared
The Hazzards, thus their race is run.

But Dirty’s off to further reaches –
against the scamps who vanquished Bubbles
and, barring any staffing troubles,
Beware, you red shirts! Guard your peaches.

4 thoughts on “#6 Dirty Half Dozen over #22 Strikes of Hazzard (by Jeltz)

  1. I used to roll up, this is a hold up, ain’t nuthin funny
    Stop smiling, be still, don’t nuthin move but the money
    But now I learned to earn cos I’m righteous
    I feel great! so maybe I might just
    Search for a 9 to 5, if I strive
    Then maybe I’ll stay alive
    So I walk up the street whistlin this
    Feelin out of place cos, man, do I miss
    A pen and a paper, a stereo, a tape of
    Me and eric b, and a nice big plate of
    Fish, which is my favorite dish
    But without no money it’s still a wish
    Cos I don’t like to dream about gettin paid
    So I dig into the books of the rhymes that I made
    To now test to see if I got pull
    Hit the studio, cos I’m paid in full

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