Week 5 Lines – Updated

Postgame at Bramhall – Home of the

Defending Champs

The BowlPortland Trophy Will Be On


Week 5, bowlers. Can you believe we are at the halfway point already? I’ll get to the lines, but wanted to clarify one more rule. If you want someone to be able to play in the playoffs, they either have to be on your initial roster, or play with your team at least five times. Just keep it in mind.

Lot’s of good matchups this week, once you get past the glitz and glamour of the OC – Binga’s game.

Off Constantly (-1) vs. Binga’s: Binga’s has the higher team average, OC has the championship trophy. Voters seem to be favoring Binga’s early, but many of them weren’t around for last year’s championship run.  In the most anticipated regular season match of the year, the two early season titans will face off on the center lanes. Danny Diesel has assembled a squad of mercenaries (and picked up his own game) that has torn through the league. Jamaican Jerk has rewritten the record books and created a myspace page to cheer for himself. Wing Alex has returned after his failed holdout. As for Off Constantly, they’ve just picked up where they left off last year. The only issue for them is they haven’t faced a top team yet.

I break it down this way. I think the Jerk puts up two spectacular games and one good gam (his pattern). Oz will be OC’s top guy, and if he puts up one of his top games when the Jerk lets up, he’ll grab one of three points. Wing Alex probably takes 3 of 3 from Number One/Tron. That’s when it gets interesting. Danny Diesel has been all over the map, going from 210+ to 120s. Now he faces Knuffi, who last week averaged in the 150’s. I think she rattles him and picks up 2 of three, and Number One/Tron #2 – Honey Bunny take all three from Hot Mango Mike – Albany Style Angela – Buffalo Booth. I just give the toss up overall to OC based on their consistency.

Plus, OC has kept this game in perspective. It’s a regular season match and they have a five point lead in the division. The game means much more to a Binga’s team eager to make a name, and I think they may press too hard. Thechamp  stays the champ until someone takes it away from them. 

B.E.E.R. (-1) vs. Derelicte My Balls: When Bubbles left for Europe her team was 0-2 and struggling to break 100.  In her absence, salesman extrordinaire Muskrat has piloted the squad to convincing wins.  Now they’ll try to win AND get back in the running for postgame awards, but seem distracted by a trash talk fest with week 6 opponent Die Gassenjungen.  As for B.E.E.R. the team may be in trouble with Roy G on the road.  There’s no way to predict what you’ll get from the Filthy Hooker, and B.E.E.R. lost this matchup last year, but I think Tom Richards has his breakout performance.  I hope he does, because I don’t think I’m going to.

Three Fingered Willies (-5) vs. Maine Yacht:  3FW celebrated last week’s 15-0 loss with champagne.  Why?  They are now done with the three top teams.  They look to take out weeks of frustration on Maine Yacht.  Maine Yacht is showing some signs of coming to life – they may spring a surprise but I’m not picking them til I see it happen once.

Die Gassejungen (-6) vs. Strike of Hazzard:  Uli’s bunch could take over first with a huge win, and I think they just might get it.  Strikes of Hazzard is hoping that German doesn’t translate in Hazzard County, and want the winner to be determined by car jump.

I.C.B.I.N.G. (-1) vs. Happy Hands Productions:  Another tight one, as two teams battle for fourth in the deadly Soulja Boy Division.  Monkey Butter goes nuts, HHP has too much roster volatility.

Pinups (-6) vs. Sweet Rolls:  I’m a believer.  Silky Pete’s scowl may be impervious to Sugar’s sweetness.  We’re going to Candy Mountain!  Full of joy, and joyness!

Saucy Posse (-6) vs. Hyper-Bowl-E: The Posse is underachieveing, and I’m still blaming the name changes.  Hyper-Bowl-E better hope their dance moves are mesmerizing.

Roll Another (-8) vs. Young and the Bowled:  The Legislature’s time crunch is looming like a thunderhead over the YBs.  Roll Another is rolling thunder.

Urban Achievers (-5) vs. Incredibowls:  Incredibowls always surprise, but Urban Achievers trying to win games big to get on the radar screen.  Urban Achievers, Urban Meyer…hmmm.

Dirty Half Dozen (-1) vs Three Livers:  Bernie has promised a return to prominence this week, but that will have to come against some of the league’s iron.  DHD may be in third in the division, but they have third best average in the league and continue to play challenging games.  Riggs rebounds, DHD ekes it out.

Pud’s Taxi (-3) vs. Gutterballs:  Week three of Mullet-Watch.  Pud’s believe it is just a matter of time before they take over the division lead.  The Gutterballs aren’t ready to concede.  Can Honey stay in the moment or will he be focused on defending his Postgamer of the Week title? 

Alley-Gash Rollers (-2) vs. Purple Haze:  I don’t feel good about this pick at all, but Haze’s scores have been dropping, and the ladies of the AG Rollers are getting hotter and hotter.  Haze may bring in a 5 and 84 year old to continue their streak of breaking barriers, but I’ll go with the ladies.

Great Lost Spares (-1) vs. Lesbowlians:  I initially picked the Lesbowlians, as they are ready to break out and get their first victory, but then I saw they are on lane 26.  I think the old ladies really dampen the Cher-love.  The Spares are on a rollercoaster ride – I think this is the flat part, a close game.

Last Week: 10-3

Overall: 39-13

3 thoughts on “Week 5 Lines – Updated

  1. You think the old ladies will keep us from being Chertastic? Think again. Watch out, GLS, the Lesbowlians are coming after you — and we want 8 point thingies. Just saying…

  2. for the record i did not make this page…alltho i was honored when i saw the page,,,,, being the humble bowler i am… i made the writers note in the blog that i had no affiliation with the page….. like FUBU its for the fans by the fans,,thank you for your time..

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