Meaningless Predictions

Throw the records out the window – we’re in the final four.  Three teams from the mighty Soulja Boy Division, and one upstart.  Three teams everyone expected to see here, and Urban Achievers secured the open fourth spot by dispatching the commissioner, thus assuring they will be kicked out of the league next year.

First, the Top Dogs, Binga’s Ringas, plays the defending champs, Off Constantly.  There is too much drama to even try to encapsulate.  Binga’s handled the OC’s in a mid-season showdown, but this is different.  This is Binga’s first Final Four, and it’s like nothing they’ve experienced.  OC has been here before.  Binga’s has the luxury of multiple aces, and I would have picked them before the return of Steve McQueen.  But with McQueen and Dick Liquor now complementing Oz, I’d call that trio a wash with Wing Alex, the suddenly quiet Jek, and Danny Diesel.  Hot Mango Mike and Buffalo Booth also seem like a wash with Number One.  I have to give the slight edge to OC with Knuffi and Hunny Bunny taking on Albany Style Angela.  Combine that with the experience factor, and I’ll take OC to squeak by, 8.5 to 6.5

Urban Achievers have been the most consistent team all year.  They may not overwhelm you, but far more importantly, never have a bad game either.  They’re beatable, but you have to earn it.  Make any mistakes and they’ll march right past you, and intimidate you with the silence punctuated with the gutteral roars of Moose Knuckles.  J Hammer, D Fingers and T Ferguson won’t wow you, but won’t disappoint you.  Pinky has been a rock all season.  Dirty Half Dozen flew under the radar all year but stand just a step away from a shot at vengeance (or a shot at being BowlPortland’s Buffalo Bills depending on the outcome).  In contrast with their opponent, they don’t even know the meaning of the word ‘consistency’.  That said, all four of their guys have taken turns leading them.  That won’t be enough unless at least one person joins the leader (ask Cheddar).  Toonces has been gaining momentum entering the playoffs, and will have to keep limber with six possible games (same for Pinky). I think this one is going to be closer than some expect.  Moose Knuckles has been rolling (and fist-pumping) hard lately, and usually stays close to the opposition’s lead-d0g, letting the rest of his team pick up points.  DHD can’t afford any off games.  I think it will be 5-5 going into game 3, and come down to the 10th frame.  A Jeltz Turkey edges a Moose Knuckles 27, and DHD moves on, exhausted.

That would create a rematch of last year’s final.  It is probably silly to predict a game that may not happen, but if it happens, I like OC, relaxed on White Russians and with two strong women, to repeat over a DHD squad that left it all on the lanes in the semis.

Great season all.

Don’t forget, and remind your teammates, the amazing Bowling Ball is this Friday, the 10th, 8 – 12 at SPACE. Maybe Utah, DJ Baby Jay and The Toughcats will perform, there will be a raucous dance-off, and all the league trophies will be distributed.  There will also be some giveaways.  Seriously, this is the event the whole season has built toward – come finish BowlPortland 2009 with a bang.

Thanks for reading all season, and thanks so much for making this league amazing.  Signing off…

Karl

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