First, a note to the schedule complainers. The reason we are starting early on Tuesday is because if you win you have another game. This way you may still be done before 11. I have discussed it with all your Captains. In the case of problems, I have worked out deals with your Captains, so, in short, just talk to your Captain.
Now, breaking down the games. Since we have two rounds being played on Tuesday, and I can’t guess at games with yet to be determined opponents, I decided to just look at the four ‘pods’, with odds of each team in that pod to reach the Semis on Friday. It’s fun to say pods, too. So, here goes.
Pod 1: (the Pod of Death) Binga’s vs Sweet Rolls – Saucy Posse vs Young and the Bowled
Binga’s: No one has really shown any ability to challenge the defending champs this year. BEER had a game with them tied at 5-5, but Binga’s closed with a shutout, suggesting they were just toying with the commissioner’s team to curry favor. Sure they have The Jerk, and his league record 10 200+ games and the top average, but they also have Buffalo Booth and Hot Mango Mike regularly putting up massive scores, and a one-two women’s punch of Chernobyl Lane and Valley Girl Jess. Danny Diesel has kept them focused, and with the Bowling Ball at their home bar, they have every incentive to stay hot. Odds to reach semis: 6-5
Sweet Rolls: America’s Happiest Team, the Sweet Rolls at least offer the guarantee they won’t get discouraged. They picked up a couple of points when they played Binga’s earlier, and probably will do about the same this time around. Hot Tamale would need his best week ever, with Frenchy and Candyman doing the same, and then they might get 4 points. Odds to reach semis: 250-1
Saucy Posse: With a playoff win finally under their belt, SauPo now looks to make some noise. Walter has been completely consistent, and based on early survey results, everyone in the league loves these guys. This comes down to Hot Sauce and N-Sauce, who have both had big weeks but rarely at the same time. If they get to the Elite Eight, they would need career games from the regulars, and a return to early season from from the mysterious Redonk to shock the league. Odds to reach semis: 50-1
Young and the Bowled: Lou Dawg has remade this team after last year’s rough expansion season. He has his reliable ace in Pistol Pete who is itching to make his name in the playoffs. RR has been having to carry a lot of weight on the ladies’ side, but should get some help from Anya this week (she’d better, because the potential of six games for one bowler is a lot). Senator ITZ or Killer B need to have big weeks to get them through to face Binga’s, but getting by Binga’s would take a miracle. Odds to reach semis: 50-1
Pod 2 (the Pod of History): Off Constantly vs Gutterballs – Dirty Half Dozen vs Strikes of Hazzard
Off Constantly: After winning the inaugural BowlPortland crown in 2008, OC had the misfortune last year of ending on the same side of the bracket as Binga’s and failed to reach the finals. This year a last week collapse put them back in the same position, but they have a more philosophical approach now, recognizing they’ll have to beat Binga’s somewhere along the line. Turns out, however, that their other old nemesis Dirty Half Dozen could get in their way first. It was DHD who put them in this perdicament in the first place with a week 12 tie. It will be fascinating to see if this team can regain their mojo. Odds to reach semis: 2-1
Gutterballs: These guys have been complaining about a lack of respect. So I did some digging. Truth is after a big week 8 from Rusty Nail, I had them ranked #8 in the league. I also had them as a ‘lottery ticket’ team in my tourney preview, listing them as one of a small handful of teams with any shot at the title. Well, maybe the ‘no respect’ angle is just Daddy TL’s latest motivational tactic. I will give him some material here – I think they will lose to Off Constantly (you’re welcome Daddy TL, hope it helps). Odds to reach Semis: 40-1
Dirty Half Dozen: Noone ever talks about these guys, but they have been to the finals both years we’ve existed. They live for the playoffs. Getting to the finals this year will be no easy task however, as both OC and Binga’s are on the same half of the draw. They are not short on confidence right now after a tie with OC in week 12 and big first round win. Harlyn P finally returned from the woods to post a 196, and Pirate has been a top 10 bowler all year. JELTZ! can go off at any time, and Lil’ P has been solid. When Riggs and Toonces perform well, this team is as deep as any in the league. Odds to reach semis: 3-1
Strikes of Hazzard: These guys are happy to be here. They don’t seem to feel any pressure from the playoffs, they just keep smiling their way along, surprised each time to realize how well they’re doing. They’ll need every bit of that happy-go-luckytude to get through to the semis. Uncle Jesse has emerged as a powerhouse, and if last week’s legal eagles Bos Hogg and Rosco keep performing well, and Mabel T shows up, they could put a scare in the 6ers, especially if DHD is looking ahead. Odds to reach semis: 30-1
Pod 3: (the Pod of Drama) Urban Achievers vs TDYOB – Incredibowls vs BEER
Urban Achievers: These guys have been called lots of things: robots, mercenaries, quality bowlers. Last year they were called a boy band, but they turned that perception around this year by signing La Gatita, the league’s top woman and second highest overall bowler. She joined with Pinky to turn this into what is now a woman-run powerhouse. Unfortunately, that has apparently impacted the manhood/ego of DRMA, who has resorted to childish name calling and impotent rage. The always even-keeled J Hammer has done a good job of keeping him focused when he’s at the lanes, however, and DRMA and M. Knuckles both have rolled well all season. The only potential weakness here is based more on rumor – that rumor being that La Gatita was a much different bowler in the intense Lewiston Series. This will be her first BoPo playoff test, everyone will be watching, and there is the potential she’ll need to roll six games to get the Achievers back to the semis. Odds to reach semis: 2-1
TDYOB: Well, love him or hate him, you’ve probably all heard Dr. Thunder’s name by now. He hasn’t made a lot of fans, but he thrives on boos, so it is part of his master strategy. When he faces off with DRMA fans will face a dilemma. You have to at least give him credit for talking a big game to keep his team thinking they can win. They are huge underdogs, but I guess you can’t go into a game thinking that way. Odds to reach semis: 100-1
Incredibowls: This is another quiet, overachieving team. Quick, name three members of the Incredibowls. Can’t? Ok, how about two? One? Yeah, they aren’t flashy (despite neon green shirts), and they keep to themselves a bit, but these guys can roll. Last year they kept pulling surprises to make a deep playoff run. This year they have a seven seed, so they don’t get to sneak up on anyone. They don’t have any top 20 bowlers, but they are solid all the way through the roster. They also will have no hesitations about beating Karl Hungus. Odds to reach semis: 40-1
B.E.E.R.: Last week B.E.E.R. came within an eyelash of losing in the first round. The question is how will they react. This team has the talent to scare the league titans, but not the consistency. Any result is pretty easy to imagine. Fern seems to have found her game, and Karl, Filthy and Cheddar are all settled in to their averages. Bishop will get the start, and is a wild card, but no card is wilder than Tom Richards. When he wear plaid pants this year, his average is 190, without them it’s around 120. So look no further than Tom’s legs to predict how far these guys can go. Odds to reach semis: 20-1
Pod 4: (the Pod of Betrayal) Livin’ on a Spare vs ICBING – Huevos Rancheros vs Cracked Bowl O’Nutz
Livin’ On A Spare: They were the preseason choice to win their division, and ended up getting there after a struggle. Does that mean they are weaker than expected, or battle tested? I don’t know. I do know Natro and Coco can kill some pins when they get their yacht rock on. I know Precious has the balls to practice at the lanes by himself with his name in the scoreboard as ‘Precious’. I know Shithawk can fly, and Alley-Loo can manage. I also know they are great frontrunners, so to have a chance against them, you need to strike early and rattle them. Odds to reach semis: 4-1
ICBING: They don’t fit the pod theme, as the rest of these teams all have former players mixed up on each other’s rosters. ICBING just has madras. Oh, and Fabio, who has emerged onto the scene and last week had the playoff high score of 235. That makes them dangerous, but they’ll really need to climb on his giant, muscular back to advance. Not to mention they got first and third in the NCAA brackets. Nice work. Odds to reach semis: 40-1
Huevos Rancheros: Like BEER, these guys almost flamed out early but are still standing. Now they face some former teammates in a grudge match. Bubbles will have to exert some roster control, keeping off strangers. Barry will have to team with Rambler for big numbers, and A-Frame needs to show up. They are driving a long way, so it’s possible they’ll tank to make it home in time to feed the horses. Odds to reach semis: 8-1
C.B. O’Nutz: This team is made up of former members of Huevos and LOS (though those teams have changed their names in an attempt to fool the public). Now they have the chance to potentially knock both of them out of the playoffs with a dramatic run on Tuesday. I wouldn’t put it past them. Herbie and Bunny have been rolling well, and Peanut has been battle tested on the travel team. It may come down to Sugar and Deez Nutz (tee hee hee). Odds to reach semis: 15-1