Tuesday Lines, More Or Less

Co-Games Of The Week

Both games are for their respective division leads, plus the winner of the UREA!/No-Eye-Deer match has an inside track on promotion to next year’s A division.

EARLY #13 No-Eye-Deer (2-0) -1 vs #12 UREA! (2-0):  J-Bird has really transformed UREA! after several years of struggling.  The biggest moves were replacing Tecumseh with Rappopotamus and stealing Steff Infection from NED.  Any time you can add an all-star (to this point in the season) and at the same time take away from your top rival, you have to do it.  Now S..I. (coulda been Mos Steff) will get to look her old team square in the eyes in a battle for Division supremacy.  Shifter Pawl returned from his not-at-all suspicious spontaneous quick trip cross country in a beat up truck to find his team still undefeated, though with a deflated average.    He’ll tangle with T-$ and crew in what should be an excellent match.  It has bowloff written all over it.

LATE #1 Sons of Danarchy (2-1) -1 vs #2 B.E.E.R. (3-0):  Third “Game of the Week” for S.O.D (and the league’s 3rd #1 vs #2 matchup) in just four weeks.  Used to the spotlight and confident with the 2012 title in their hands, S.O.D. tries to intimidate their opponents with a steely glare and exposed arms.  When you look at them all in their vests you can almost hear them chanting “I want my two dollars” and almost picture them on their BMXs (with Diesel captaining from a longboard of course).  They will use everything in their emotional arsenal for this one as the Judas Natro returns on a new team.  He’s the only man in the league with an 8 game winning streak and has brought a boost to his new team.  B.E.E.R. was in shambles last year after a first round collapse and the retirement of an injured franchise mainstay Cheddar.  Now they are the last Tuesday A undefeated and have a loose vibe they hadn’t shown since the Roy G. Biv days.  It’s working for Hungus who is sporting a 216+ average. B.E.E.R. will be without Tom Richards who played great last week with Filthy late.  Filthy will be late again, hoping to walk in for games two and three.  He was Willis Reed last week with the emotional late arrival and 236 score, but can a TR-less B.E.E.R. stay in the game until he gets there this time?  You can’t come back from big deficit against a team like S.O.D., they all will bowl at least moderately well every game, never a bad score.  B.E.E.R. will need great play from Slow Roll and Queen Bee when going up against the league’s unquestioned top woman pairing of Valley Gurl and dominant Rookie of the Year frontrunner McStriker.  Bottom line, I don’t think anyone’s making it through a Tuesday A schedule unscathed.

Early Games

My Balls (1-1) -3 vs Splits Happen (1-1): My Balls have had a pretty crazy start to the season.  They opened on a Tuesday, took a week off and then played on a Thursday.  Now it gets back to normal and they return to the Tuesday routine.  They handled their Thursday opponent and pumped up their average.  They face a Splits team coming off a bye who did have one member show up to bowl, so communication may be an issue for them.  I like My Balls in this one.

#18 Saucy Posse (1-1) -1 vs Three Livers (2-1):  These are original teams and they will battle like it’s 2008.  Not sure if Bernie will still party like the old days – he doesn’t even have Hank to scream out to.  Wilma is on the shelf with a winter rafting injury but the most recent Larry killed pins last week and posted a 200.  Walter has been back to form after an off draft league, but Hot Sauce has had the opposite results.  He needs to help his older brother in this one.  Should be a great game of beer, m&ms and catching up on old times.

#3 L.O.S. (2-1) -5 vs XXX Club (1-2): The Club roared into the season averaging 750 and clobbering O.C. but has now lost two straight in blowout fashion.  What happened?  Well, that win was before the first big freeze, and Roadhouse put it this way: “That O.C. win was back when all we had was bowling.  Now we have ice fishing, and after the heart pounding excitement of ice fishing it’s hard to stay focused on something as slow as a bowling match.”  Tango added “I’d rather be jigging with a Moosehead than worried about an oil pattern”.  Fair enough.  L.O.S. doesn’t do ice fishing, though Precious occasionally hand augers two feet of ice for the oblique workout then just moves on.  But they will beat you at bowling and laugh at your shortness, no offense.  The Club will have their minds in an icehole by game three.

Late Games

Incredibowls (2-1) -3 vs D-GUTS (1-1):  These teams are starting to get some BoPo history, but their rivalry goes deeper than that.  The D-GUTS crew beat an undefeated WGME team captained by Incredibowl Boston in the first Media League finals.  Since then Boston has had the upper hand, and he won the Media League this year while WJAB was an also-ran.  The Incredibowls signed another WGME-guy, God of Thunder, and he has led them in average this year while listening to self-affirmation podcasts on his headphones.  Old Thumper has been getting stronger for D-GUTS and they are 1-0 with their Captain around.  It should be close, and there will be no love lost, but I’ll go with the trends and pick the Incredibowls.

#5 Back In Black (2-1) -9 vs Strikes of Hazzard (0-3): Uncle Jesse dominated the Captain’s Party but hasn’t maintained his hot hand going into the season.  He’s got The Deputy tearing it up on the lanes and the smack board but needs to give him more of a hand.  Now his team will get an angry Back In Black team coming off an 11-4 loss on a night when they still put up a 720 average.  They are going to get on a roll now and post some big numbers.  Hazzard County hasn’t seen a team the likes of these bad boys in some time.   Uncle Jesse needs to call on that old-timer knowledge and cook up a plan real fast before they jump a river and land in the B division.

#6 Binga’s (2-1) -3 vs #10 Cunning Linguists (2-1): The Linguists had a big win with Captain Pauly Ringwald gone at a hot-yoga retreat in Honduras.  La Ga stepped up and used some old-school Canadian motivation techniques in his absence (“hey guys, let’s have a good game, eh?”) and the team responded in knocking off the ice-fish posse.  Now Ringwald is back and loose, but Binga’s brings loose to a whole new level.  These guys are fighting to preserve a legacy – bowling at an elite BoPo level while putting away absurd amounts of intoxicants and yelling a giant “F you!” at Wednesday mornings.  There are a few old party squads still battling, but Binga’s is the boss.  The Linguists might not know what hit them 10 points and 24 shots later.  Jerk cruises.   Cookie screams for another shot at that piñata.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: