Late Night, Smooth Jazz

OK, time for the late teams to take the stage! In this dance line we see Sparetime (awesome shoes!) and Bonita leading us off, followed by Mo $ trying to upstage G Unit and Too Koops…and succeeding! Koops, don’t worry, you make a second run down the line at the 1:34 mark with a new partner, pretty sure that’s Mitch Cumstein! I tell you, we are doing this some time this season….how about a Halloween Soul Train theme?? Best fashion in this one are easily the plastic pants at the 1:15 mark…

Cakeballs v. Happy Hour Heroes (-1) – Here is a true happy hour hero:

Xander, as captain, has the responsibility to uphold such heroism tonight. They don’t have anyone who can keep up with Gutterboy (Or The Cleaner…Or Northpaw) on the lanes, but they have 6 people more than capable of keeping up with them off the lanes. That will be key, as they’ll need to ride the vibe all the way to the upset victory.

In looking at the stats a bit more closely, this is really a dumb prediction. #thatswhytheycallitdope

Never Flush (-1) v. Bayside Hellraisers – Poor G-Force. Amid the excitement of being a #1 pick (loved the #1 jersey reveal at the draft by the way), he and Big Party seemed to forget to draft someone who can roll some big numbers. I don’t mean the random 200 that Hakeem Bowlajuan rolls on occasion, I mean another stud. They even had a bowler named Wooden Spoon join them for a couple games…really? Wooden Spoon? At least it’s a good name origin story…

Never Flush is turning a corner, and I think they will get some wins in the second half of the year. I’d have made this line larger, but Sparkles will be in Vegas this week at a kickball orgy. Stay safe, Sparkles. But seeing as you’ll be in Vegas, get loose!! And in this installment of “Drunken Bowling Mechanics”, we find Holden Green up to his usual antics…and kudos to the police officer who stayed patient throughout this wackiness. Please don’t poke the bear like this….

Rad Team (-5) v. Winter Is Coming – Rad Team is crushing it. They have three All-Stars in Southpaw, Milli Rocket, plus some other dude. Rick Vaughn is injured and is determined to take his team down with him by rolling left handed as he recovers. There was a near mutiny last week as he rolled some terrible scores (I remember a 68, we are talking super bad scores here…his 10 year old son can roll a 68!), guaranteeing his team’s loss. If only Rick Vaughn could be as successful as either of these two in using their other hands:

Sadly, Thursday Night King is no Inigo Montoya, so Rad Team will curb stomp Winter is Coming. And Rick, as Inigo Montoya is known to say, Prepare to Die.

Brandy’s Savages (-5) v. The Management – It must be tough for Brandy. She wants to win, but crushing her bosses can’t be that fun, she still wants to get the sweet shifts at Bayside! And to top it all off, she lives with E Minor! Tough times for sure.

Brandy’s crew is far too deep for The Management. Gutterslut and T$ are rolling well, and even Hungus’ huge scores can’t prevent another loss. The Management have a lot of the “low to mid level depth” that gets you a lot of losses this season. Brandy’s team should cruise comfortably in this one. And Brandy, expect to get some crappy shifts this month.

Too Much Too Fast (-1) v. Hexy’s Hooligans – Farmer’s team has won 2 in a row, and are now in the playoff chase. Hexy’s team is wildly unpredictable, I really have no idea what to expect from them. Hexy did try to mess with Bombpop last week by lowering his average by 10 pins after he rolled way above his average, but so far it hasn’t worked.

Huge congrats to Danny Diesel, who last Thursday had his first child, a baby girl named Ireland Rose. Rumor has it she was born with a mini-PBR in one hand. He says he will make it to the match, but as his captain I’d be okay if he stayed home with his girls. I saw Dick Liquor roll a week after his son Davis was born, and he was extra bad, rolling low 100’s. Those without kids have no idea what tired is until you haven’t slept for more than 2-3 hours at a time for weeks…

Farmer’s birthday is tomorrow, so he will likely try to take advantage of as many free drinks as he can, which may lead to some awful scores. However, Kelly Kabowlski was going to go to Vegas with Sparkles, but bowed out due to recent events over there. I expect her to apply the rage of missing a Vegas trip to the pins, so expect her to kill it and lock up her All Star spot.

Crackerjack is exactly the type of bowler who can win this match single-handedly, but it’s a late one, so making this prediction based on no Precious this week. And how do I know that Precious won’t be there?

Shnitzengiggles v. That’s My Son (-1) –

A nod to Side Salad, who is proving to be a great pick up by That’s My Son. Who knew that guy could bowl?

Thunder’s squad is back to his usual Draft League losing ways, having dropped three straight. Last week’s crushing at the hands of Rufio is understandable as that team is crazy good, but overall Thunder’s crew has found their stride as a fun team that just might win a few games, and just might lose them as well. Jamaican Jerk and Lil’ Pickle are vying for the annual title of “good bowler ruined by Thunder in Draft League”, both of them hoping not to join the ranks of past winners Natro, Gutterboy, and Cookie. Thankfully, they are getting a Shnitzengiggles team that features Dick Du Juor, our latest bowler to take a shit on a 300 with a 299 this week, plus those orange shirts.

This one will come down to Twinkle Toes and Dick v. Burt the Bandit and Thunder. And I am going with That’s My Son. In a close one. Followed by sightings of this at Binga’s Lounge, in a match between Jerk (in the far court) and Side Salad (in the near court).

I would be remiss if I did not acknowledge the passing of Tom Petty. In the early 1980’s, when MTV was brand new, they didn’t have a ton of content. Tom Petty’s “You Got Lucky” video was one of the first heavy rotation hits, and I bet I saw it hundreds of times, and it was how I first heard his music. I got to see him live a couple times in the 80’s and 90’s, and the guy was still hugely relevant today. Total stud. The link below is a cool version of one of my favorite all time Petty songs, the opening lines just hooked me. Bopo, here’s hoping all your days are diamonds…


3 thoughts on “Late Night, Smooth Jazz

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: