Farming At Night

Alright alright alright! Looks like we are all getting into the routine a bit for BoPo, every time I walk into
Bayside, I am looking to bowl, and apparently all of you are as well. Two weeks ago I would have been
running up to the rooftop. Now I’m all about the East side bar.
And to reinforce the message of our commissioner, please heed his words, don’t be the guy to take that
walk of shame out of Bayside tonight….

I get the late matches this week. And we’ll start with my favorite Draft league team:
Phish Bowl (-1) v. Yes is More! – Pains me to pick against my team, but the numbers don’t lie. Duke
Thunderwood has a 5 game 200 streak going now, and he’s doing it with scores like 206, 203, etc.
Getting the job done. Nice. Squatch is putting in his customary 40 games of practice each week as he
transitions to two handed, which is more than even Rick Vaughn or Dick Whitman. Duck and Big Red are
rolling well. I just think they have too much and Yes Is More will lose a close one. Or maybe this is all
my devious plan to motivate my crew to a victory?? Quite a battle of wits…

One thing I know for sure is that the combination of these teams coupled with the edible baking
prowess of Shooter will make this a late night again. Last week we all tried cake pops that were loaded
with 20 units of magic in each. So naturally Dick had to have 2. Maybe we all just have 1 this week and
see what happens…

Sorry, Hexy.

The Strike is Right (-5) v. Dr. Thunder’s Revenge – Hungus and Jerk have found their mojo in the last
couple of weeks and are looking like a tough team this season. Thunder and crew got their first win of
the year last week thanks to some clutch rolling by Casual Hundo and Lil’ Bit. Invisible Hand did his best
to lose the match, rolling two handed with whatever ball he could grab off the rack, but they got the job
done. Of course, a Brooklyn hambone by Thunder didn’t hurt either.
Cilantro and Rocky Balbowla will be the difference in this one. I like their chances to get points and carry
their squad to a victory. You know Mitch will roll great, but he’ll need some huge scores to cover both
Jerk and Hungus. Another win for The Strike is Right. I’d like to see someone on that team do this
dance if they get a turkey:

Below is a video timeline of Dr. Thunder for the match:
2 images of a fired up Thunder as the match starts
3 images of a looooooose Thunder

2 images as he tries to do bowling math
1 silly face when he gives up on the bowling math
1 when he tries again to figure out the bowling math
1 when he thinks he’s about to win the match
And the final image when he realizes he lost

Hold on, being told that is actually Spare-O. Roll Bork!

Any Given Thursday (-1) v. Denim VaJean – The top two team averages in the LaLa Division of the Buck
Conference meet for regular season glory. Thursday, 8:15 (ish) pm, Lanes 15 and 16. It’s been said that
the LaLa Division is one of the deepest in Draft League, and based on the fact I have to click on different
links to see the standings for half the teams, that just might be right. I have no idea.

OK, so about that match. Master Splinter is a beast, and you know he will put up huge numbers. But
then it’s a bit of a journey down the stats page to get to Xander Rolle. And don’t even get me started on
how far you have to travel to find Capt Spare-O’s name:

Finally made it down to the low 150’s to find his name. Woah. That guys a mess. Probably because this
is how he arrives at the match with the TDYOB boys:

Any Given Sunday has Heartbreak Kid leading the way (knock on wood if you’re with me!), and Badger
also has a 200 average. The Dude (?!) and T-$ are both around a 180, and I think that will be too much
for Denim VaJean. Diesel’s pre-game speech, channeling his inner Al Pacino:

The Big Dills (-5) v. Elevator Elevator (Rufio!) – Still no Rev Lord, which means still no wins for Rufio! and
the team. I like The Big Dills to win comfortably tonight.
Jail Bait has been a huge pickup for Lil’ Pickle. Sweet 180 average to support the always awesome rolling
of Cleveland (Steamer). He’s close to dropping the Steamer, just needs a Browns victory next week
against the Rams…..oops. Might be keeping that name for a while, buddy!
Gutterslut and Jon Moon have been doing what they can to help their team, but lacking a bowler like
Rev Lord is tough. Cleveland and Jailbait should carry top points, and Phil Frames and Twisted Tea can
cover the likes of Lucky Charms and Rufio. This all spells doom for Elevator Elevator.

The Vice Squad (-5) v. The Hole Package – Sea-town has a great team this fall, and they will crush
Holden Green and company this evening. Sea-town has a cool way of determining her line-ups. She will
match up each player on her team with an opponent, and then have her squad roll whenever their
matchup rolls. Seems to be working, but tonight they could freelance a bit and it would still work for a
The classic mid-level depth will carry The Vice Squad tonight. Roadhouse will battle Holden, but I like his
chances. And then the wave of Sticky Fingers, Hot Gravy, Sea-town and even Burt the Bandit will take
rest. More I think about it, the wider I should be making the spread in this one. But then I remembered
that last Friday night I bowled with Sticky, and, well, it wasn’t great. And Burt almost lost to Loosky, aka
Mrs. Burt the Bandit. Don’t laugh, I think I did lose a game to her. They still win, but I think it ends up
Here's Bowl Murray and The Fuge blackmailing Holden into giving them three games this week:

Schnitzengiggles II (-3) v. Dolla Bets – It’s hard to pick a team where nobody showed up to a team
practice last Sunday. Natro was forced to roll with Thunder, and he lost 2 bucks to Farmer along the

I kid, I kid. Natro would never carry a comb, bald dudes don’t need one!
Deputy is one of the 20 bowlers with a 200+ average, and Crackerjack isn’t far behind. Cerrano is his
usual stud roller self, but he’ll need some help from the squad to get a win tonight.
Very creative name by Deputy this season. I like it. Seriously.

Go Flock Yourself (-1) v. Vintage Thrust – Go Flock Yourself was without Mo $ last week, and it all fell
apart. At least I think it did, my memory is a bit hazy from last Thursday. But I do know Mo $ was
“keeping it real” with her students last week:

Both of these teams have the ability to post some huge scores. Mr. Florida will stake his claim to the
Flock bench and roll a 200. G-Force will laugh his way to another 200. And Big Party will just try not to
get in too much trouble….again. Check this scene from the team sleepover with Big Party and G-Force
(extremely NSFW):

So clearly this team gets along. But they are battling a crew that rolls with a full time manager who also
supplies a ton of booze (even if they are Trulys) in Sparkles. And they clearly are digging deep throating
that flamingo. I just think they have a little too much for Vintage Thrust.

No joke to close, instead one of my favorite Cars songs…I remember having the cassette of the Cars first
album, likely a hand me down from my brother, when I heard of Ric Ocasik’s passing, I immediately
thought of the cover art from that cassette:

That tune is a great soundtrack for when you are moving onto your lanes, just sets a great vibe. Not
sure if I like it better than Moving in Stereo, but whatever. That entire album is loaded with great
tunes…Let the good times roll tonight, BoPo!

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