Farmer In The Morning

Halfway through the season, the All-Star game is in the books (congrats to Hamburger Sandwich!), and
now we can start to see who will be making the playoffs, and who will play out the string. And it’s
getting to that time of the year when it’s dark for even the early matches. So lets start with a matchup
in the race to the bottom of the All Day Division:
Rufio & The Sauced Boys (-1) v. Whiskey Shooters – Both of these teams will likely be on the outside
looking in come playoff time. Team averages around 630 will tend to do that to you. But Rufio! got a lift
from the addition of Railroad as a replacement for injured Rev Lord, and I think that’s the difference in
this one.
All Day Lemay must be looking around hoping for some help on the Whiskey Shooters. And Pete just
laughs….and orders another shot of bourbon. Needless to say the pick of Soccer Dad/The Dentist didn’t
work out quite as planned.

Go Flock Yourself (-3) v. Titans of Bayside – Strikes a plenty in this matchup, and I expect big scores all
around. Both of these teams are playoff caliber, including Titans, but a loss by the Flock could spell
trouble for them down the stretch. So I like them to take care of business tonight.
If I add up the averages of the top lineup for Flock, I get 730 with Putt Putt, DDJ, Sparks, and Mo $. And
that means a win on the lanes and that poor flamingo getting crushed again and again…..and then doing
some karaoke?

What a train wreck of a show. Who is hiding under that Flamingo costume? Could it be Seachellz?

Denim Vajean (-3) v. Shirtless Fuckers – Generally speaking, your team average says a lot about the
caliber of your team. It certainly says a lot more than your record does, and this match is a perfect
example of that. Denim has a 666 team average, and 5-1 division leading record. Shirtless Fuckers have
a 660 team average, and find themselves in last place in their division. Ouch. I expect a close one, but
it’s the big scores of Splinter that will get Denim Vajean over the top.
As we proceed into the season and the weather turns a bit, BoPo golf nut Spare-O starts to become a bit
of a weather junkie. He’s taken it to alarming heights:

Speaking of Shirtless Fuckers, here is a clip from a former Bayside staffer and all-around great guy Yung

So much to love about that link: Yung Shirtless is actually shirtless! They are posing on a Subaru (a
Subaru!!) with the license plate “The Mob”! And I am curious what they are “southside” of….the mall?
The Scarborough marsh? So many questions….Good luck Shirtless!

The Big Dills (-3) v. Dolla Bets –

I expect big things from The Big Dills as we hit the second half of the year. Of course I also expected
great things from my team this season.
The Big Dills will put up super solid scores all night long. So if you have any bad games, they are going to
take advantage. And we all know Dolla Bets have Dutch on the team, so that’s at least one bad game.
Guys not the most consistent bowler, ask him about his 267/117/215 a couple weeks ago. Or ask him
about his 2 games in the 140’s last week. Like I said, he’s due for one clunker a week.
This one will be close across the board, but I see The Big Dills taking those close points and getting the

Six Tits (-3) v. Cakeballs II – Both of these teams are not off to the best starts this season. But
somebody’s got to win, and eventually Gutterboy and Lala will roll well at the same time and get them
the win. I pick tonight to be that night.
As a captain in draft league, there are certain players I will never have on my team. Basically because if I
pick them in the middle of round 1, then I won’t have an ace. But they are always gone in round 2
before I pick again. So I am hoping Tilt-a-whirl has an awful season, so that way she’ll be there for me
round 2 next year. Only kidding. Kinda.
I assure you searching for links with Six Tits in the title can get a little dicey, especially at work. But I was
able to find this clip that has every person’s dream of what they’d want to do in Vegas if they ever came
across a six-titted friend:

Okay, okay, there were eight tits in there…but what’s two more?

Spared No Expense (-3) v. Truth Hurts – I bowled against both of these teams this season, and to the
surprise of almost nobody, we lost them both. Two strong teams here. But Spared No Expense are
crazy good. We rolled a 750, and got ½ point. Then we rolled a 720, and got 1 point…match over. And
that was without Jr. Hoss!
Nugget’s crew is good, but do you really expect King and Eggroll to keep up with Frankie Abralon? Me
neither. At least now that I have you reading I can paraphrase their spiritual guide Lizzo with this little
verse about Kelly Kabowlski:

Kelly is a bad bitch, non-committal
Helped ‘em with her bowling, well, a little
She ‘sposed to knock pins down, but they standing like trees
And that’s the sound, of Kelly sitting game three

You know I love you, KK! Give me Glossy’s wrecking crew in this one.

Any Given Thursday (-3) v. Phish Bowl – Big head to Head with Playoff implications in this one. Both
teams would be in if the season ended today, but after tonight that may not be the case.
Heartbreak Kid is talking big on Twitter about football, you’d think the guy was on the Raiders roster or
something. Pump the breaks dude, they ain’t that good. But he is that good at bowling. He will handle
Duke Thunderwood. Squatch, likely the only bowler in BoPo history to use a ball with his bowling name
on it, will get some points. But it will take some big games from Shooter McDoobin, Das Ducken, and
Ramrod to cover T-$ or Diesel. But hey, it’ll be a party:

Let’s laugh a bit tonight BoPo:

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