Off Constantly Is Not F’ing Around (And the lines)

They are singing the old classic “POSTGAME AT THE SNUG”

Great Lost Spares (-2) vs Strikes of Hazzard: Another family reunion game. Boss Hogg and Roscoe will make up lies about sweet jobs and cars they have and say how well they’ve been doing. Old partners Pinstigator and Spinella will not believe any of it, and will win.

DHD (-5) vs ICBING: DHD has nothing to play for, being all but locked into the 6 spot and a first round bye. After 9 weeks, Peanut Gutter finally believes it’s not gutter, at least sometimes.

Hyper-Bowl-E (-1) vs Lesbowlians:  HBE has quietly pieced together a few wins, but are starting to feel the pressure of lofty expectations (for the danceoff). Lesbowlians in dogfight for 24th/25th place heading into the playoffs.

SauPo (-3) vs Incredibowls: I’m telling you, Walter is on fire. N Sauce is right alongside, waiting on the others. Incredibowls already truning their attention to the danceoff.

Pinups (-2) vs Puds: A lot of the luster is off this one after last week, but it’s till a top-ten tilt. Pud’s continues to say wierd things. I encourage you to visit their team page.

BEER (-3) vs Three Fingered Willies: The Pin Whisperer faces his old team in this one. P-Dubs’ partners looking for a boost heading into the postseason. BEER likely to be dangerously intoxicated. Bishop of Bowl will be summarily excommunicating people.

Sweet Rolls (-5) vs Happy Hands: The Rolls have climbed all the way to 11th with some big wins of late – now Candyman and Sugar Daddy have one last game to challenge each other for team leader. Happy Hands still reeling fron the Mitten Woodmore gender scandal.

Off Constantly (-7) vs Three Livers: it’s going to be a rough night for OC. It’s St Patricks day, they are playing the most fun team in the league in the eyes of many experts – they’re really going to want to cut loose, but they may be chasing that top seed and holding off. Volcanoes erupt eventually.

Binga’s (-9) vs Purple Haze: Can Binga’s hold on for one more week?  The regular season has been grueling for them since they beat OC and had the media spotlight. Haze is not a pushover, and would love to spring a surprise.

Roll Another (-7) vs Die Gassenjunen:
Will Uli make one last stand?  Who’s wearing the dress?  Ichtanzegern? Bones and Kaiphe don’t care. They don’t care ’bout nothin but killing pins and getting wins.

AG Rollers (-8) vs Young and Bowled:  Rollers are tied for the division lead. Noone ever knows who will arrive for the YBs. Freshy Fresh has been a boost.

Derelicte My Balls (-2) vs Urban Achievers: Two top teams battle it out. The Balls are coming off a shutout win, UrbAch getting stronger by the week. Balls have more to play for. None of it matters as they will all be drunk.

Gutterballs (-2) vs Maine Yacht: Locked into 26th place, all the pressure is gone for the Yachters and they could spring a surpise. Gutterballs have been sliding, will finish somewhere in the 13-17 range. Thats not even remotely funny analysis. Sorry.