Week 6 Lines

Postgame is at Novare Res. The MaineToday.com photographer will be back, too, so look pretty.

This is the last new site, then we’ll start hitting bars a second time.  Is anyone going to Great Lost Bear for pregames?

Also, tired of $20 50/50 “jackpots”?  BowlPortland is getting back in the 50/50 business this week.  Our pots have reached as high as $130, so buy a ticket or 6.

Game of the Week:

#6 Dirty Half Dozen (-3) vs. #11 Gutterballs: Gutterballs has gotten off to a hot start, and actually has a lead in the division over pre-season favorites DHD.  This is their chance to prove they belong.  If they are ever going to utilize their Nomia sponsorship to distract their opponents, this would be the week.  A win here would mark a sea change in the PYT pecking order ocean.  Um.  As for DHD, they welcome back league favorite Dutch for a one game cameo.  She walks right into a crucial game, but her team is starting to rally behind the steady excellence of Pirate.  Surprisingly, Riggs has not commented on Baby Riggs’ positive press last week.

The Rest:

#9 Living on a Spare (-13) vs. The Who?: The Who looked tired in the Superbowl performance and I don’t see them being fully recovered by Tuesday.  LOS doesn’t seem to get any in-between matchups.  Alley-Luejah expecting big things from Precious, or else he’ll get the hose again.

#5 Huevos Rancheros (-5) vs. #19 TDYOB: It’s early, but Huevos has a chance to really get some breathing room in the Thriller division.  At the end of the day, it should be between them and Livin’, but right now TDYOB is in 2nd, and wants a shot at the crown.  I think that shot is premature.  I expect big things from Muskrat both on the lanes and the 50/50 sales front.

#16 ICBING (-7) vs. UREA!: ICBING is in a slump, having been pushed by TDYOB then knocked off by the Strikes of Hazzard.  Can they rebound here?  I think so.  UREA! is the league’s quiet, mystery team.  They are also small – only four players, the same each week, forcing T-$ to bowl left handed since there are no injury replacements.  Talk about tortured artists. I’m really hoping this team produces an original piece of art to be given away at the Bowling Ball, or hung at Bayside Bowl.  Hint, hint, J-Bird.

#15 Strikes of Hazzard (-11) vs. Madbotts:  I’ve been talking up Uncle Jesse in these pages for weeks, and then I ran into him this weekend and he asked “hey, did you see that we’ve been winning?”  Huh?  Turns out Uncle Jesse hasn’t been reading (or, as Cooter whispered to me, can’t read).  Fine then, Strikes.  Your name is mud to me.  Welcome to Heel-hood.  Unfortunately I can’t pick them to lose here, as the Madbotts have yet to pick up a win. They are still stealing the league’s collective heart, though.

Bowlderdash (-5) vs. Splits Happen:  Michael Bowlton has turned to some unorthodox motivational techniques, betting with his team members that they couldn’t cover the spread last week (they did, and he lost money).  We have no policy on gambling, so more power to him, but is he rich enough to keep this tactic going?  In unrelated news, what’s with that new $1 per ticket “Yo-Pleau” surcharge on SPACE tickets?  Splits Happen have been nothing if not resilient, and survived a potentially demoralizing loss last week in high spirits and ready to roll.  Izzy is starting to get a read on her team, which is an accomplishment when you have 19 players on your roster.

#1 Binga’s Ringas (-13) vs. Three Fingered Willies:  On behalf of BEER, I want to apologize to Dirk McLucky.  Our team did just enough last week to light a fire under Binga’s, and in addition to using it to spark one, they will use it for motivation to rally to another big score this week.  Binga’s is facing a suspension, however, on a league finance violation.  Uh-oh!

#4 BEER (-1) vs. #12 Saucy Posse: A couple of solid but not spectacular teams find themselves playing well but buried in the standings.  BEER will have to stay up after their collapse against Binga’s.  Luckily  for BEER, Charlie’s Angel and Slow Roll should be back, and Tom “Don’t Patronize Me” Richards is rolling angry. SauPo has had to deal with D Sauce’s demands to be traded to “Strikes of Hazzard, or ICBING, or Binga’s, at least for pregame”.  Can P Sauce hold the family together?  I think it’s time for N Sauce to have one of her big weeks.  Should be the closest game of the night.

#3 Urban Achievers (-5) vs. #13 No Pins Intended:  NPI has been battling back into contention, but now face their sternest test of the season.  Unless Randy Ram channels Odin (could happen), or tags out to The Iron Sheik (perhaps less likely), I see a tough loss coming.  The Achievers could actually take over the PYT lead if DHD and the Gutterballs beat each other up a bit.

Lesbowlians (-9) vs. Great Lost Spares:  This looks like a good week for the Lesbowlians.  They need a big win to move out of the dreaded bottom six play-in spots, and this is the chance.  They are riding a hot Tilt-A-Whirl into this one (tee hee) and Trixy has her troops motivated.  The Spares counter with a giant pink bear, the Great Gay Bear, and a week of rest to get their heads right.

#8 Pinups (-5) vs. #18 Roll Another:  It’s always a dangerous bet to take a Big Ern coached team and the points, but there is too much talent on that team to ignore.  They do seem stuck in the 80’s – in a good way.  Roll Another is the least ballyhooed 3rd year team in BoPo.  A win here might make some noise for them, but they would probably just go back to the corner and whisper “don’t mind us”.

#2 Off Constantly (-11) vs. #20 Three Livers:  Pearl is a great captain, and I don’t presume to know her team like she does, but I have a suggestion.  Buy shots for OC.  Then when you offer them a second round, and they think you’re just trying to get them drunk to help you win, offer to drink with them.  Play to your strengths.  OC almost went crazy last week not being able to play, and they will come out a little too strung out.  If you execute this plan well, I might adjust this line.  Also, can I have some M&M’s?

#10 Incredibowls (-1) vs. #14 C.B. O’Nutz:  These are two teams that will be popular dark horse picks come tourney time.  When you’re placing that bet in late March, you may want to look back and see how this one turned out to figure out which horse to ride.  I think it’s a tossup, but I prefer the Incredibowls’ unis.

5 thoughts on “Week 6 Lines

  1. re: The Gutterballs: “If they are ever going to utilize their Nomia sponsorship to distract their opponents, this would be the week.” — Indeed they did. The “supreme jackability” of the Beer Babe immediately knocked 30 points off of every DHD score — but the afterparty was uh-MAZING.

    1. I thought we agreed we wouldn’t speak about the after party!

      [still trying to remove the scent of “Gun Oil” from his clothes…]

  2. Premature this, re-reading that prediction it reeks of nepotism, TDYOB plays to get loose and to win, we even had a dude do a windmill after a strike last night! That’s right TDYOB brings their parachute pants to the lanes for breakin’ 2 action. Shot at the crown is definitely premature but TDYOB gets better every week.

  3. Baby Riggs press noted and acknowledged! Special Baby Riggs 2.0 attire in the works (she outgrew the Varipapa / DHD onesie), possibly to be unveiled at the finals?

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: