Well, well. I’m finally back. Bowlportland.com will be hosting writeups on the Restaurant League and Media League, but of course closest to my heart is the Draft League. Here we have 48 of BoPo’s finest, mixed and matched (except for Harness It, that’s basically just an old Binga’s squad) and competing head to head for a very prestigious championship. The only thing that is certain is that these 48 players will have a big leg up on the rest of the league when BoPo IV kicks off in January.
Harness It 8 They All Fall Down 7
Nobody has been hotter than “Buckeye” Booth. Who, you ask? Well, old Booth has picked up and left the crumbling infrastructure, collapsed economy and frigid weather of Buffalo for the promised land of…Ohio. “Buffalo” Booth’s westward slide on the Erie has paid off in spades, as after two weeks he is second in the league with a 187.6 average and 3 200+ games. Accompanied by old (and future) running mate Danny Diesel Booth’s team is in second place after back to back wins. This team is stacked with championship pedigree, also featuring Number One (2008), Chernobyl Layne (2009) and Bishop of Bowl (2010). They all hope to add another belt to their wardrobe.
They All Fall Down, previously known as the Gay Bears, actually may have saved their season in this loss. It’s early to talk like that, but after a 10 point loss in week one, they were down 8-2 heading into the third game before a revival. Precious has been laboring under the pressure of being the top overall pick, a pick that had the most hardened scribes dropping their pens and gasping when it was announced. The Gay Bear’s choice was looking foolish until this final game, when Precious finally loosed the chains and powered his way to a 224. What does it all mean? Who knows. The team lives to fight another day, and maybe, just maybe, the pressure is off. Peanut also stepped up when needed, adding a 178 in the season saving game.
6 Lb. 4 oz. Baby Jesus 10.5 Hot Pockets 4.5
I did not see this one coming. Did you? Raise your hand if you thought the Tiny Jesii would be comfortably in first after two weeks. I see one wing – thanks Shithawk. Well, here they are, and when you look at the way they’re rolling, you have to give them their dues. Walter got them their first 200, Tron has been rolling like it’s 2008, and this week they had no weak games. They have gelled quickly on what could be dubbed Capt. Alley-Lujah’s In Your Face Tour. She and Shithawk will be seeing a massive makeover in their 2011 BoPo team, and would love to show up the ‘traitors’ with a Draft League title.
The Hot Pockets are all about girl power, so when La Gatita is out, things get a little dicey. Coco can’t do it all by herself, boys. She did try, and is currently 6th in the league average (one spot behind Gatita). Harlyn P seems to have rediscovered his stroke. His slow, slow stroke. And they can feel good about narrowly maintaining the second best average in the league standings wise.
Ultimatums 9 Roll Me 6
Capt. Peanut Gutter is a bit of a mad scientist. He has decided to try mixing all frisbee dudes on the same team, then added two fine bowling ladies, and let the pins fall where they may. Well, after two weeks they are 15 up, 15 down, a number they are familiar and comfortable with. Oolie, the 3rd pick in the draft, one spot ahead of Jamaican Jerk, had a big week one in a loss, and fell back a bit in week 2, but the team won. I urge all his friends to make him stop reading these bowling books, as the endless flow of read knowledge complicates things to such an extent that he can’t move. Dr. Thunder can try yelling motivational musings in his ear, too. Shugah Nut paced the disc-o-boys this time to even their record. The trash has already started flying for next week’s showdown with the Black Frogs (funny, actually, the trash talking seems to just follow this team around).
Roll Me was the beneficiary of Jamaican jerk falling to 4th in the draft, and after week one they were feeling good, but now they are having to step back and reassess. They are 2nd to last in points and average. Jerk had the most pedestrian week of his career, and they went from 603 to 536 to 463. That says one thing to me – they are not yet in BoPo drinking shape. Not even close. Get those livers up, coach Honey Bunny.
Black Frogs 8 Happy Hour Heroes 7
No story has been as overcovered as the Karl Hungus wrist injury. He is a bit of a baby, after all. The left handed warmups, then the unveiling of the right handed roll for the first time in five weeks, only to stink up the place…it’s a tired story. Luckily for the Frogs, noone not named Cheddar has been at the lanes more than Natro, and the practice is paying off. He posted a couple more 200+ games to rally the Namibian Amphibians (thanks Ram Rod) to a stirring 8-7 win over the game Happy Hour Heroes. Special propos to Izzy Moxie who made the win possible by taking a bus back from Boston just before game time, then having to go back to Boston at 7:30 the next morning. That’s dedication.
Speaking of Cheddar, he’s baffled as to how he is ending up with the same average. The most consistent man in Bowl business, he wants more. Well, the good news for the Heroes is he saves his best games for the clutchest moments. Xander is learning the ins and outs of captaining, and has his team in fine shape after two weeks, considering this loss justa hiccup, and graciously collecting his seven points.