First, for those new captains who keep asking, BowlPortland has never had a weather cancellation. We roll!
On to health news, keep reading and posting questions on our partner blog helathybowler.blogspot.com. We also will begin having a licensed massage therapist here on Thursdays offering chair massage from 6-8pm. Please check it out!
This health news is particularly relevant given the recent spate of serious injuries. The Wrecking Balls lost Imoan to a broken leg, and the Strikes of hazzard lost Luke to season ending gear-shifting accident. Mercy!
Now, to the lines…
Game of the Night – Tuesday Edition
8pm #6 Binga’s (-5) vs #10 I.B.S.: Well, a five point spread doesn’t sound like game of the night material, but this game has a lot going for it, and Binga’s is in 1st with just a half point lead over IBS. Binga’s is back at it after last year’s shocking championship loss. Booth and Diesel signed on with a supergroup, but Jerk has taken the reins, keeping Chernobyl Layne and Hott Mango Mike, while adding a few new faces. They are quietly building momentum. I.B.S. is anything but quiet. Oolie will talk trash about anyone and everyone, and probably already has. This is his first chance to prove anything on the lanes, and he looked strong last week. Wut What is a surprising 15th on Tuesdays, and DJ Supertop Megacool has proven in the draft league he can come up big at times. Serve him a few Clutches and anything is possible.
Tuesday 6pm games
#4 Team Micaela (-9) vs 5 O’Clock Somewheres: Team Micaela is cruising right now. Stevie Strikes and Gutterboy will stay in the top 5 all year, and now Mona Laudley has joined the scoring party. All they need now is some sort of team identity and some shirts. the 5 O’s had a big week last week, which is cool, because they may be hard pressed to pick up points this time around.
Pinups (-3) vs Gutterballs: Gutterballs have 6 more points, Pinups have a 50 pin better average. I’ll go with the latter stat.
Bowlderdash (-1) vs #15 Roll Another: Upset alert! Roll Another has been playing great, keeping a 509 team average and piling up points. Bowlderdash has yet to put it all together, but has faced tougher competition. I think Michael Bowlton will have a master game plan that leads to victory.
Pud’s Taxi (-3) vs 3 Livers: Party alert! These teams will have the best time of any pair all week. The rest is irrelevant.
#12 Strikes of Hazzard (-9) vs Lesbowlians: The Strikes got beat down last week, and then lost Luke for the year to a moonshine incident. Now they try to regroup against a Lesbowlians squad that has yet to show their top form. Tilt-A-Whirl needs some help from her friends.
8pm Tuesday Games
#7 Saucy Posse (-3) vs #11 White Whale: Another great matchup. SauPo so far seems to start games well then fade. White Whale is the opposite, finishing strong. So, can SauPo build up a big enough lead in games one and two? How long does Walter stay sober in this one? White Whale loves being the underdog. If they win this one, they won’t get that opportunity for a while.
#18 UREA! (-11) vs Madbotts: UREA! fell apart without their captain last week. Expectations may have been too much of a burden. Well, now they just have to keep their focus in the face of hot legs in fishnets and they should get back on track.
D-G.U.T.S. (-1) vs Balls of Fury: This game is a tossup. One half point separates these two expansion teams in the standings. D-GUTS got schooled last week, Balls of Fury won. But in a tossup scenario, I’ll go with the team that has team shirts.
#8 Sweet Rolls (-9) vs Incredibowls: No team has opened more eyes early than Sweet Rolls. Maybe their playoff battle in the quarters last year with Binga’s was no fluke. They are crushing fools. Swiss Cake (6th) and Hot Tamale (12th) are leading them, but they are also getting great play from Capt. Frenchie. The Incredibowls have been the biggest disappointment. That said, Boston’s son was born this week, so now he can focus on bowling. I’m no parent, but I assume that’s how it works. It’s all easy sledding from here, Boston!
Games of the Night – Thursday Edition
8pm #17 Shambles (-1) vs #12 Happy Hands Productions: A surprise battle for first place in the Thursday B division. HHP has been waiting for this season for a long time, coming out and dispatching lesser opponents. They feel they’ve paid their dues and are ready for some success. Shambles probably irks them. This upstart bunch has known nothing but success so far in their short existence. They are helmed by a champion, as Slow Roll won a title with BEER. Gutter Slut and Thunder Road both stepped up last week, and Col. Angus send the ladies into a tizzy. Can the rookies handle the pressure?
8pm #1 Off Constantly (-5) vs #5 Still Livin On A Spare: Well, here we are. L.O.S. has been great so far, and now are looking to prove they belong in the conversation about championship contenders. Newcomer Double Cheese withstood a verbal assault from Hungus and is leading the team, though they are very consistent. Precious hasn’t even had a big game yet. Can they scare, or even beat, OC? It will take their best game, but they are one of a very select few teams that can even say that much. OC has been spanking around it’s first few opponents. OZ has been himself, and Dick Liquor was week one bowler of the week. Lost in the shuffle are the wonder twins, both rolling lifetime high averages. They’ll actually need to bring it this week. They do tend to get up for big games, so I expect them to play well, but nice to see them face someone their own size.
#19 ICBING (-3) vs Wrecking Balls: I picked the Wrecking Balls to win Tuesday B. They have 4 points through two games and Imaon has now broken her leg. Hmmm. I didn’t pick ICBING to do anything, so no comment. This game will be quiet and pleasant.
Splits Happen (-7) vs Lovernauts: I don’t even know if Ichy will be back from vacay in time for this one. I’ll go with Izzy Moxie’s crew as they firmly plant themselves in the middle of the pack.
#9 TDYOB (-5) vs My Balls: TDYOB got some points last week after an opening week whitewash. They have yet to win with Dr. Thunder – can they overcome his presence this week? Bubbles’ team haven’t really even shown up yet this year. I think this is the week My Balls make an appearance on the lanes. They may not have enough to get over the top, but should be a decent game.
#13 Young & Bowled (-9) vs Goldilocks and the 5 Spares: Y&B look to rebound, and show some leg. Goldilocks looks to continue their push as everyone’s favorite opponent. It’s early, but they have shown some true Team of the Year potential.
#3 Walkaways (-15) vs Pinny Candy: There it is, my first ever predicted shutout. Walkaways don’t have any weak links. Pinny Candy are getting a rough initiation (though I’ve seen several of them in here practicing on off days, so they should get better as the year goes on).
#16 No-Eye-Deer (-1) vs #20 Snakes on a Lane: Two very evenly matched expansion quads off to impressive starts do battle in a game that could have a big impact on the Thursday B division race. I’ll go with No-Eye-Deer just to make up for the fact that I heckled them so much last week.
#2 B.E.E.R. (-7) vs #14 C.B. O’Nutz: The Nutz are taking their lumps early, playing three of the top 5 teams in the league. It should harden them for the playoffs. B.E.E.R. is cruising along, and starting to get their drink on. That spells trouble for everyone, including themselves.