Tuesday Week 2 Lines

Early Games

#4 Still L.O.S. (1-0) (-1) vs #5 B.E.E.R. (1-0): A classic matchup.  B.E.E.R. was the underdog that rallied past L.O.S. in the semis in 2010 and split the team in half.  The remaining crew (thus the Still) would love nothing more than a win over a team they still deep-down think they may be better than.  Double Cheese has injected the team with even more confidence coming off back to back Bayside wins (draft league, holiday tourney).  He will battle his draft league Captain Cheddar, who was far and away the top bowler of week 1.  Filthy McNasty came out of the gates strong to sit in 3rd after week one, and looks vindicated for his strategy of sitting out draft league to stay hungry.  B.E.E.R. is the underdog given Hungus’ 150ish average, which will not be enough against Shithawk, Precious and Mr. Stiffy.  Slow Roll could be the key to a B.E.E.R. surprise, though.  Mmmm, beer surprise!

#1 Walkaways (1-0) (-7) vs #11 Nutz (0-1): Ok, Walkaways, you had me there for a second.  Just a bunch of folks happy to be bowling, nothing to worry about, don’t mind us, that whole Heat things was so last year.  What’s that?  The Dentist?  Oh, he’s nobody, just ignore that.  No can do.  Get your target shirts back out because now everyone’s gunning for you again.  Finals or bust!  Speaking of bust, Busta’s squad has a brutal opening stretch with L.O.S. and Walkaways, but better to get pushed early I guess.  They’ll likely be the best 0-2 team soon.

#18 Saucy Posse (0-1) (-5) vs Three Livers (0-1): SauPo got off to a disappointing start in a one point loss to the poop merchants of IBS.  The team continues to struggle with success and were probably doomed to a tough start as soon as they received a top-ten ranking to start the season.  They get a great opportunity to rebound this week, and an even greater opportunity to drink themselves into oblivion with one of the league’s top drinking opponents.  This is the fifth-year these teams have battled, and while I can’t tell you the record in those games I can pretty much guarantee you the matches have set records for Jameson’s bought, backs slapped and happy yells unleashed.

#19 Turkey Club (0-1) (-5) vs Bowlderdash (0-1): The TC rooks overcame all the hazing to push defending champs OC to the brink in their BoPo debut, letting an early lead slip away and losing by a handful of pins and a single point.  They can’t be too disappointed.  Now they get a taste of the BoPo spirit against a former Captain of the Year in Michael Bowlton.  The Bowlderdashers got off to a slow start but have been in practicing and clearly are looking improve.  This is a tough out for them but they would love to keep the new guys out of the winners’ circle.

#3 Off Constantly (1-0) (-3) vs #17 Strikes of Hazzard (1-0): OC can exhale after escaping with a razor thin win over TC in their opener.  Of course if they relax too much they will get marooned in Hazzard County.  OC will still be without McQueen, and they will likely be missing Oz.  This is a golden opportunity for the nattily attired Strikes to get a signature win.  Uncle Jesse will be plottin’ and schemin’ all week for this episode, and with a tough schedule need every win they can get.  Crazy Cooter can almost taste the moonshine.

#2 Back in Black (1-0) (-7) vs #10 I.B.S. (1-0): Both teams are coming off wins but are feeling very different about themselves.  I.B.S. had sweet new shirts, well coordinated cheers and plunger dances, and felt vindicated when they squeezed one out.  Back in Black fell down 5-0, shook their heads and stared each time a pin didn’t fall, and bowled far below their expectations, but still managed to eke out the victory.  I.B.S. will definitely come in to the game looser.  Back in Black is probably too good to struggle two weeks in a row.  Oolie may motivate his teammates by portraying this as a battle for the soul of BoPo.  Gutterboy need to come up with some way to keep his guys relaxed.  When in doubt, shots.

8:15 games

Splits Happen (0-1) (-1) vs Incredibowls (0-1): Splits’ Leroy started his BoPo season with six straight strikes.  That was the end of the highlights for the team, who look to rebound in week 2.  This team has added Wedgehead, but he was quiet in the opener.  He and Xander need to come up big against an Incredibowl squad that is eager for redemption after a beatdown by Boston’s archrival.  This is a team that always surprises me once I’ve given up on them, so I have no confidence whatsoever in this pick.

#6 Binga’s (0-1) (-7) vs Young & Bowled: Rough timing here for Y&B.  Pistol Pete is stuck with his left hand and The Truth is clearly a little out of practice.  Meanwhile they face a team that despite losing had the third best average in week one.  They will need more bowling like Rae Chill’s career-first turkey to make this one close.  Binga’s psyche is a bit rattled after a 12-3 loss to the Walkaways, but they have nothing to be worried about.  They looked strong, bowled fast and were unexpectedly judicious in their between game breaks.

#14 Pinny Candy (1-0) (-1) vs N.E.D. (1-0): Both of these teams won their openers yet fell a bit in the polls.  Pinny Candy’s ranking may be based too much on the hype coming out of their own locker room about a couple of appointees new to the team this year.  (Though Skittles’ improvement and dedication is clearly documented).  N.E.D. doesn’t say much of anything and probably don’t ever check the lines or rankings.  Well, this is a great test to see what kind of teams these really are.  Both have Sweet 16 dreams, but the loser of this one may be a bit farther from those dreams than they thought.

#8 Cunning Linguists (0-1) (-3) vs #20 D-GUTS (1-0): D-GUTS Captain Collection has a win under his belt, a bottle of Black Label waiting for him, and high hopes for the rest of the 2012 season.  This is an opportunity to get some extra attention with a win over a top ten opponent.  The Linguists pulled out all the stops in week one with fishnets and jorts, and for a while it looked like it might work.  Unfortunately they couldn’t close the deal, and let Back in Black off the hook.  They have to avoid a letdown in week two or they could be quickly in an 0-2 hole.

One thought on “Tuesday Week 2 Lines

  1. When in doubt, poop in yer pants.
    An undie accident reminds us all that we are but mere mortals – still at the whim of our sometimes unpredictable bodily functions. A well-timed shart will lighten the mood instantly. See ya tomorrow, Back in Brown…

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