Welcome back, Thursdayers. Just a heads up that we have the Jerks of Grass at Bayside every Thursday so stick around and enjoy some bluegrass while watching more bowling. And might I suggest the new BoPo breakfast burrito? It’s damn tasty.
#10 TDYOB (-7) vs Guacabowle: Dear Guac, thanks for stepping up at the last second to form a BoPo team. I regret to inform you your first game is against one of the most notorious of all our teams, and their infamous ringleader Dr. Thunder. Forgive him his “BOOM!”, breakdancing, pole humping and other extravagances. He is just out to have a good time and drink a few beers. If he is too much for your tastes (and I almost guarantee he will be) you can always talk to their more mellow influence, rookie Space Farmer. Anyway, it’s just one game. Good luck, and see you on the other side.
#14 Guns of Brighton (-1) vs ICBING: ICBING is now a veteran squad, facing off against some new guys. But these are no ordinary new guys. Invisible Hand is their Captain, and he has some BoPo experience back in the day with the MeYacthces, and oh by the way, he oils the lanes. Start your conspiracy theories! GOB will also be getting Coco Lopez from BEER starting next week, so look out for them. ICBING seems to be holding steady season to season. They need to show some movement.
Happy Hands (-1) vs Goldilocks and the 5 Spares: These are two teams looking to turn things around after a few years of struggles. One of them will get off to a 1-0 start which will do wonders for their confidence. The Hands are missing their captain, but have traditionally been the stronger of these two teams. Goldilocks always has the best player names, from Pinfall Wizard to Great Gay Bear. Who will be their newest name of the year candidate?
Wrecking Balls (-1) vs Pud’s Taxi: To be honest i have no idea if anyone is showing up for Pud’s tonight. I received a phone message several weeks ago from Dink Mastercard indicating they were back, but that’s the only contact. Part time player Cupid has been in many times and has alternately told me he is playing for Pud’s, captaining Pud’s, quitting, making a new team. and that he is not actually Cupid. The Wrecking Balls wouldn’t mind no opponent tonight as The Dude is missing his top two bowlers. When will he cave and sign Dude Jr, that guy has potential.
B.U.I. (-3) vs Luvernauts: While one new team (Guac) has to deal with the antics of TDYOB, B.U.I. should get a much friendlier welcome to the league playing our dancingest, lovingest, freindliest squad, the Lovernauts. B.U.I. is coming from the Casco Bay league, and have a team that should be very competitive for Thursdays. Lucky Bastard, Duchess and Snapshot are already well known commodities, and they are happy to be in the club. The Luvernauts have that guy with the crazy hook that could go anywhere, and other than that they are primarily dancers. Rufio is their ace and she has been steadily improving. I think they lost their other all-star, Rinni. They will give BUI a nice welcome.
5 O’s (-5) vs Madbottz: The Madbottz may take issue with all the praise of Luvernauts dancing, and howl ‘what about us?” They have been bringing fashion, fun and fishnets to BoPo for years, and the league needs all three now more than ever as some teams get lost in the competitive side. Hopefully Captain Madgirl shows up and has a gift of Crown Royal pants for me. The 5 O’s won awards last year, Captain of the Year I believe, and bring back the same squad now with a little more experience. They have some veterans of the old Oolie teams (Oolie’s teams have led top multiple spinoffs, either a comment on his ability to recruit new talent or on his ability to cause people to want to get off his team). I think they get off to a quick start int heir second year.
#17 Yayyyy! (-1) vs Balls of Fury: Formerly Team Micaela, Yayyy! dropped Stevie Strikes, Gutterboy and Bama in the offseason. While they may take a hit in stats, they will definitely get a boost in team morale with their new friends the Slampigs. They will be one of the top Thursday teams, but they are battling another solid squad in Balls of Fury. I’m just picking against Balls of Fury because they have some new guys who get kind of grumpy when they check-in and don’t know anything about the league they are in. I suppose I should put that blame on their captain, Bacon. C’mon, Bacon! Spread the good word! Hard Body is going to have to harness that hook for a late game.
UREA! (-1) vs Lesbowlians: The Lesbowlians have been fighting to improve for seasons, are now in a great position to have a big season having moved to Thursdays. They need to start by shocking UREA!. The artists are led by the big ace T-$, who could run away with the top bowler honors for Thursdays. J-Bird is a veteran captain, Knuckles is coming off a draft league championship and spurned offers to sign with Guns of Brighton, and Tecumseh is nothing if not relentless. I like them to start with a win, but a close one.
#18 Tequila Mockingbird (-1) vs Sweet Rolls: At the end of the day these guys will both be in the mix for Thursday’s top spot. I’m going with Tequila here in an early matchup because they have been practicing a bit more. Most of the league’s top straight bowlers are in this matchup and they could really push this year with the way everyone else is struggling. Tequila (formerly White Whale, formerly DHD) may have Harlyn P back, and he is a difference maker, though his supernaturally slow ball may not work on the late lanes.
#15 Snakes On A Lane (-3) vs Roll Another: Another strong matchup. Snakes are a no-nonsense bunch, and are eager to stake their claim as the top of the three frisbee based teams. Roll Another never gets any respect, and noone ever knows who they are no matter how long they’ve been around, but they are sneaky. Plus I think they’ll enjoy the bluegrass. Uncle Buck leads the way after getting some very good practice in the draft league. They are ready to win now, and love the new divisional alignment.