Big, big news, and week 4 previews

So BoPo, you’ve probably heard the rumors by now, and if you’re a hardcore bowling nerd (looking in your direction Shifter, plus the mirror) you read it on the bowling industry blogs.  The PBA is officially coming to Bayside Bowl.  Next March, a week or so before our playoffs, guys like Pete Weber, Chris Barnes, Norm Duke and Jason Belmonte will be bowling on lanes 5-6.  It will all be broadcast on ESPN.  BoPoers will get access to all the tickets on the side that will show up on tv.  It’s PBA League, mostly Baker Style stuff, but just last week they added a second tournament, a singles match play tourney, also at Bayside Bowl. Holy crap! EDITOR’S NOTE: Please keep this PBA info in house until next week.  Obviously everyone at the lanes will know but keep it off Facebook until the press event next Thursday.

Anyway, the official press announcement will be next Thursday at 5pm, right before draft league.  PBA Commisioner Tom Clark will be here for the press conference (and sticking around for beers and heckling during Draft League, suckas).  You should be here too.  Seriously I’d love to have a full house of BoPofor the press conference, letting the press folks know there are actually a ton of cool people really excited to welcome the world’s greatest bowlers to Maine – the first time PBA has ever been to Maine.  So mark your calendars and leave work early if you’re a normal, be here by 4:30 and start filling the place.  Thursday, October 2.  Week 5 of Draft League.  Thank you, now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Game of the Week

#1 Bowla Constrictors (3-0) -1 vs #2 Beerframe Mafia (3-0): Get here early tomorrow for this one.  This a great contest between two top teams.  Diesel has his Bowlas doing just enough and they’ve pulled off three straight 8-7 wins.  He doesn’t want to show you up or anything.  Cilantro’s Mafia has snuck up on folks but won’t do that any longer.  Cheddar has been much happier not captaining and Cilantro has the team loose.  Nugget is killing it and Rubbys keeps throwing game three 200’s.  It’s a culture clash (for example Bustah and Rubbys are the league’s two biggest opponent touchers but do it in very different manners), but Cilantro will keep it fun.  I had to pick a winner so I’ll go with the defending champ Captain Diesel.

Early Games

Ball Jam (1-2) -1 vs 100% Down (2-1): It’s a Shifter AND McNasty week for the Jammers and they are hungry for a win.  Shifter tried long distance motivation but it didn’t work, now he’ll try to do the work himself.  Valley Girl has been her normal strong self on the lanes and McNasty would love to take out the other managers.  100% Down took advantage of Double Cheese’s absence to squeak out an 8-7 win last week, piling on Number One’s shoulders as he carried them with a 200 average over three games.  Just enough to win.  Hungus v Shifter would be a pretty classic bowl off battle of a couple of dudes with several bowl off wins under their belts.  Let’s find a way to make this happen.

Three Finger Surprise (1-2) -3 vs E-Minor (1-2): This is shaping up as a bounce back year for Jerk, not that he really went anywhere, he just didn’t dominate like we’re used to.  Well he’s been throwing a lot of strong draft games, placed 9th out of 72 top Northern New England bowlers and has a team that may be ready to make some noise. They have the 2nd best average in the league and look to even their record tonight. E-Minor’s team broke into the win column last week too but I’m not sure they’re fully lined up yet.  McQueen or E-Mo could go off at any time, but not sure they’re a match for Chernobylane’s Bingasesque troupe.

#Gutter (2-1) -1 vs Alley Cat Strikes (0-3): A big Back in Black on Back in Black showdown.  Bama and T-Square have their backs against the wall with an 0-3 start.  Gutterboy has surrounded himself with other Gutterfolk and rebounded from a week 1 loss with a couple strong wins.  Gutter(Spare)time has been having a strong season and Guttermunj’s hand is steady on the tiller.  Bama will have a huge game but unless T-$ turns it around his team falls to 0-4.

Tootsie (2-1) – 1 vs Gatch Patch Kids (1-2) : Gatch is back with his team after they made their own way the first couple games.  Wildcard is coming off a 298, so eyes will be on him.  Tootsie has stepped up as a Captain and rolled well, and his top pick Sparkles has been as advertised.  They are playing with a little extra motivation for Skittles, and I think that gets them the win in a close one.

Late Games

Nonchalant (1-2) -1 vs Hexy’s Hooligans (0-3): Bijou Lowrie’s name looks good sitting at the top of the stats page, but I have to think Rick Vaughn expected more than one game in three weeks, especially since he asked for all late games to accommodate his star.  I’m picking them assuming she shows (and pays her league dues) for this one.  Cookie has held things together but this team needs Bijou back.  The Hooligans also used a 1st round pick on a woman, and Coco Lopez has been the super fun, super consistent bowler her Captain knew she’d be.  Unfortunately they haven’t pulled out any wins.  Jon Moon has been struggling with the Dead Man’s Curve, and Wedgehead hasn’t had a big night yet.  It may be early in the season, but this is a big game for both teams.  No Bijou and I switch the line to Hexy -1.

Silent But Deadly (2-1) -1 vs McGuyvah (2-1): Let’s call it a stop on the Samsquampch revenge tour.  Or chalk it up to the fact that McGuyvah’s team doesn’t even have a name yet.  I don’t know why but I think this SBD win happens.  Cotter Martin is starting to make a name for himself, Boots would really like to make a name for himself and Lala would love to crush Tango (and Tango will be wasted trying to keep up with Sloppiness – epic Moosehead showdown between these two).  Too many signs too ignore.  Sorry McGuyvah’s no-name team.

#3 LOUD NOISES! (3-0) -1 vs #5 Dick’s Picks (2-1): New fatherdom finally caught up with Dick and dragged him down into the low 100’s for a week.  He will adjust.  His team is solid and united, but face a big test in Deputy’s undefeated bunch.  Dep’s got his doubles partner Duke with him, and he may finally be seeing some sort of benefit from that Slowinski business.  It’ll be tight, but if forced to pick I’ll take LOUD by 1.

#4 Big Whoop (2-1) -1 vs Point Breakers (2-1):  The Whoop lost last week but only by 1, and that was without Double Cheese (as a marginally interesting aside, I ‘ve been trying to not eat cheese this month and I think I’ve messed up on about 6 or 7 of the 24 days, but I’ve never been known for discipline).  What was I taking about.  Belmonte is coming to Bayside!  Oh yeah, the Point Breakers are 2-0 early, but now they’re late again.  That’s not their happy place.  I could see this team being 5-0 early and 0-5 late, in fact.  Eh, what do I know, I just work here.

Colucci Kids (0-3) -1 vs Ebowla (0-3): Mamma Mia, Pizzeria! (tm Dr Thunder).  The loser of this contest will be 0-4 and in big trouble (assuming you consider a risk of missing the playoffs in your casual bowling league ‘big trouble’.  You do, c’mon, admit it). Colucci has bowled well, and he gets his thoroughbred back this week, married.  Wait, did Precious go on a honeymoon?  If so, he’d be gone for this one and my line will look ridiculous.  Actually, maybe not.  What’s up with Oz?  He’s still a BoPo legend but he hasn’t been hanging with the top guys early.  He’ll be back, but how soon?  Probably not til the tourists all go home. Yao and Bombpop need to stop looking to the old guard and take matters into their own hands.




8 thoughts on “Big, big news, and week 4 previews

  1. Did you guys not hire someone to oil the lanes after Senor Strikes excited stage left???

    I know we have a crisis in the Middle East, but this cannot be the same kind of oil? Even though it fucking looks like it when we bowl! Smarten up guys and double oil the lanes before league games you cheap bastards.

    By the way could we get a menu update I gotta powerful lust for some salmon. .


    P.S. Oil the fucking lanes Thunder is wearing me out about my 116 average!

    1. Holy fucking shit are those things slow or what!?!?!? Did the instruction manual disappear????

      And what the fuck can we get two skeeball machines to work at the same time?!?!??!

      1. One can understand the oil crises, but we live in the most forested state of our great nation, keep the damn roll stocked! Those blowers couldn’t even dry a popcorn fart.

  2. Congratulations Hungus on doing what no other Mainer in the bowling community has ever done! Looking forward to this. It is going to be so cool to have professional bowlers bowling on the same lanes we do. I’m guessing you’ll have a line around the block in the Bayside neighborhood and it won’t be for the soup kitchen.

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