Week 5 and Press Conference

I will be doing some weird Channel 6 live feeds Thursday morning at 5am-7am.  I’m not sure I always get online abbreviations right, but I’m pretty sure FML works in this situation.  For morning lovers?  Anyway, the regular, big press conference with all the media folk is at 3pm.  Please be here for that if you can.  Free bowling from 2-3, and I’m sure I’ll find a way to get you some Mooseheads.  Thanks, peeps.  BowlPortland made this all possible.

We have our first bye weeks this week with Team Skittles and Taint Punch sitting this one out.

One final note, as I suggested last Thursday, PBA commish Tom Clark will indeed be hanging around after the press conference for some beer drinking and heckling.

Game of the Week

LATE: #5 Point Breakers (3-1) -3 vs #2 Loud Noises (4-0):  This one lost a lot of its luster with news that Noises captain Deputy will miss the match.  Still, it’s a battle for first in the conference and that’s always exciting to watch.  Roadhouse and his crew are looking for a fourth straight win and I think they get it.  Noises second best average, Pauly Ringwald, still is higher than anyone on PB, but then their dead president depth kicks in.  Tilt-A-Whirl is having a breakout year (and if we do an all-star game, which we may, would definitely have a spot at this point).  Loud may have some fear without their captain, and fear causes hesitation, and hesitation will cause your worst fears to come true.

Early Games

#1 Beerframe Mafia (4-0) -3 vs Alleycat Strikes (1-3):  At first glance this looks like a walk in the park for the #1 team, but I think it’s going to come down to the wire.  The Strikes got in the win column last week even with Bama not bowling his best.  They are bowling with a little desperation and it’ll help them here.  Cilantro has his Mafia completely even keeled so they won’t be impacted by their opponent’s mindset, they just need to expect a high scoring match.  They’ve done it 4 times already, so I think eventually they pull this one out but not before they get a little bit of a scare.

Silent But Deadly (3-1) -1 vs Ebowla (1-3): SBD is playing true to their name, they just kind of sneak up on you unexpectedly then BAM! Their top bowler Sloppiness isn’t even in the top 10 but they are a deep squad that has been doing enough to pick up wins.  Ebowla has been the big underachiever squad so far but last week’s win may help them get back on track.  They’ll be Oz-less in this rare early game for them, however, so I pick SBD to slide past them.

Big Whoop (2-2) -1 vs Dick’s Pick’s Vol. IV (2-2): These are two teams that have both been high in the rankings (Dick’s was #1 after two weeks) but have both fallen out entirely.  The Whoop’s first loss was understandable, a narrow one with no Double around, but now they’re on a two game streak, the same as The Picks.  Dick Liquor is 0-2 since fatherhood and looking to get his first win as a dad.  He’ll bounce back from last week.  This game is less about the captain, though, than it is about Stiffy vs Cheese.  Stiffy finally gets his chance to emerge from  the large shadow of his taller, more heralded championship teammates.  He’s sitting at 10th in the league almost 9 points ahead.  I expect some big scores from both of them, but McStriker brings this win home herself.

100% Down (2-2) -1 vs Hexy’s Hooligans (1-3): This will be fun – any game with Coco Lopez invariably evolves into a dance party.  The 100 per centers will be ready to light up the dance floor in their slick new team jerseys.  Walter often bowls well vs Hungus, so expect good numbers from him and a match that comes down to game three.  That’s where the 100% experience comes into play, and they will pull away with a late game Sandwich

Late Games

#3 Three Fingered Surprise (2-2) -5 vs Nonchalant (1-3): Ooh boy, Cookie vs Chernobylayne.  That right there is worth the price of admission, which as a reminder is free, but that’s not to diminish the implied worth of watching in my earlier phrase.  Nonchalant Bijou returned to action and held her top league average even so – impressive.  She’ll battle Jerk in this one in what looks like a sweet duel at the top.  Cookie will bring his A game against a team featuring three of his Binga’s squad, but after he and Bijou they have yet to develop.  Maybe Probie or Windiesel breaks out, or Rick Vaughn finds things, but that’s way to many ifs when you’re bowling against the #3 team in the league.

#6 Ball Jam (2-2) -3 vs E-Motional’s Roller Coasters (1-3):  Look out, it’s Ball Jam!  These guys have jammed their way from obscurity to the top 6 on the heels of a 700 average night last week.  Shifter is giving them big scores when he’s around, Valley Gurl is tearing it up and Xander keeps finding ways to strike.  If Filthy gets going too these guys could be really tough.  The Roller Coasters need captain E-Mo and the #1 pick McQueen to both step up and play like they’re capable of.  They could feed off each other and put up monster scores, but someone has to take the first step, or in this case, roll the first strike.

#4 Bowla Constrictors (3-1) -1 vs #Gutter (2-2): Diesel’s crew look to dust themselves off after their first loss of the season.  They play Munj’s team, who I can’t handicap at all.  When I ranked them, they were terrible.  When I buried them they were sensational.  I have no idea what to expect in this one, but I’ll probably have had one too many beers by the time it’s decided anyway.

Colucci Kids (0-4) -1 vs Gatch Patch Kids (1-3): Kids fight!  Colucci’s Kids try to get their first win and in the process drag Gatch’s Kids down into a last place tie.  Kids these days.




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