Oakie comes to bring the pain hardcore from the brain. Well soft ass Tuesday night didn’t have the seeds to brave the blizzard so a couple of those teams will be joining the real party tonight. Sorry no time for edits.
Is it real son, is it real son, is it really real. Well these suckas from Tuesday bout to find out.
Here are teams trying to party on Tuesday night:

Two teams with pithy names are on a bye tonight FC Portland and TouchMyExcite. My sources tell me these teams are getting together for karokee tonight.

Holy shit those cats are in for a rough night.
Too Weak to Bowl on Tuesday lines:
Oddballs (4-5) -1 versus Bibgas (4-5): Well according to Hungus’ Facebook page the boys and girls of Jah Rastafari have gone through a name change. Bibgas is apropos because these guys have been stinking up the lanes this year. Bingas can wrap up another Sunday Shootout appearance with another loss this evening. That finals appearance a few years ago is starting to become a distant memory. Only thing collecting more dust than these guys is there 9 year old banner, but they do have one and you don’t so don’t front on that. The Oddballs have been true to their name this season. Brooklyn tried to keep the remnants of Back in Black together after GB and Bama peaced out. They weren’t able to get Skippy Strikes so they brought in a couple brothers and are looking to ring the death knoll on Bingas season tonight.

BEER (5-4) -5 vs Strikes of Hazzard (1-8): BEER once left for dead has rebounded nicely behind the strong rolling of renovation out of the way Hungus and Tom E Gunz. What the hell is going on in Tom E’s profile pic on Facebook? At any rate BEER been putting up strong scores and should be able to get by Hazzard who the lanes and BoPo are kryptonite for formers pro bowlers General Lee and LB Davenport. I got this over in two and easy money that Jesse and Luke won’t remember game 3.
Yahazee (9-1) -15 versus Ball That (2-7): How the hell did Ball That get two wins? Did they get to play Spare of the Dog twice or something? Ball That and their 540 average needs to be earmarked for Tuesday B or Thursday A next year because these kids cannot bowl with the big guns. Sasqumatch and Gutterlicious bowl like they are playing Quidditch. Yahtzee does not bowl like they are playing Quidditch and well absolutely destroy Ball That tonight while getting black out drunk. It will be interesting to see if Deputy and Sparkles are allowed to party with Dick Du Jour out of town. This is how I see this game going down, you will be able to tell who Ball That is after a couple seconds:

Thursday Early:
Leisure Rolls (6-3) -15 versus Lion’s Den (4-5): LRs have looked good since Deadliest Gatch stopped coming to games. It’s funny how teams get better when they stop rolling their 130 guy. I’ve got this as a blood bath. Rick Vaughn has been hot but it is a crap shoot if his wife will even let him roll tonight or not. L Rolls in two. Here is Rick and Mokkiki after the loss:

Five Finger Discount (4-4) -1 vs BUI (1-8): It has gone from funny to sad for BUI. They actually have a couple pins on 5 Finger, but 5 Finger seems to find ways to win and BUI finds ways to lose, not to mention Coco is rolling insane notching nothing south of 170 in a 13-2 beat down of TDYOB last week. 5 Finger does enough to win. A quick shot of Duke Thunderwood giving Snapshot and G Unit a talking to after the game:

Ease up it’s BoPo Duke!
Tats and Tits (2-7) -1 versus Bowled and the Beautiful (2-8): This proverbial battle of the Alamo should be one to watch. Whoever is after this pair has an hour delay due to Mr. Mayor. Whoever is watching the game is going to have a lot of fun due to Rubbys. This one should go back and forth to the tenth frame of the third game like this:

Riveting, holy hell bowling might be more of a sport than that! Nah…..
Lesbowlians (7-2) -1 Happy Hands (6-2): Grudge Match between two long time BoPo squads. There is a ton on the line in this squad. Winner stays alive for the rights to get destroyed by sandbaggers DHD in the B side playoffs, loser stays alive to beat TDYOB in the Sunday Shootout. In the end I like the depth and drive of the Lesbowlians to take down a hot and cold Happy Hands:

Roll Another (4-5) -5 versus Bowlderdash (4-5): Another pair of long time BoPo squads like horns in this absolute snoozefest. Here is everyone playing in and watching this match by game 2:

Sorry Oakie working on a bit of a time crunch.
ICBING (6-3) -15 versus Linguists (2-7): This will be an absolute murder it was Rocky Balbowla in the closet with a 185.

Guacabowle (6-3) -10 versus GOB (4-5): This is a mismatch. Sea Town hasn’t recovered from her big 2 v2 win over Nut Sauce and either has her liver. Gaucabowle no longer have livers so they take out GOB in two.

LOS (6-2) -14 versus TDYOB (4-5): LOS loses to shit teams, but not TDYOB because they don’t want to hear it for the rest of their lives. Tonight is the Return of Shifter for TDYOB as Munson can’t ever make any games and Sneaky Pete broke her ass in a roller skating accident. This one is also over in two. Here are Farmer and Thunder at the end of the match:

Jesus someone needs to sponsor those two old losers.
Puds Taxi (2-7) -3 versus Bad News Spares (1-8): This is BNS last chance at that second win. I think Puds doesn’t let that happen:

Party Mix 5-4 (-15) versus Granola (4-4): Amazing feat that Granola has 4 wins tonight they get 5 losses. Front runner for team of the year Party Mix throws it in high gear in this one. Here is Big Fucking Party at the end of the night:

YB 2 (10-0) -14 versus UREA! (3-6): You can bet this one like it has already been played. Ain’t nobody stopping YB2 in regular season. Here is a shot of a YB2 practice:

DHD (9-0) -15 versus Pinny Candy (3-5): Pigs in space:

2 thoughts on “Oakie

  1. I’m sorry but if anyone is chucking water coolers each Thursday night it’s me and I’ll be the first to admit it. Other than that, you have basically captured the BUI locker room. Our third game should just display a giant poop emoji instead of our scores.

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