Cupid, Draw Back Your Bow

As we close out the Draft Season, I must say I was super psyched to see the email from Hungus about the upcoming Bopo XI season. Lots of good stuff to look forward to, including the re-launch of Rooftop Sessions. Here was Thunder telling his co-workers about his return to the show:

EARLY: Happy Hour Heroes v Liquid Talent (-3) – Squatch and company are already in the playoffs. Xander and friends are already eliminated. So not much to play for in this one, except pride…and we all know what I think of Pride:

Couch will be joining Sons of Danarchy, and I must say he will look great in that denim vest. Remember, first night you have to wear it without any shirt beneath the vest!

LATE: Das Strike Machine v. Rad Team (-5) – Rad Team is fine tuning their lineups and dialing in their shots for a playoff run….just kidding, these guys don’t roll that way. They just party and roll big scores. Sort of like this guy:

Fun Fact: Dick Whitman’s original bowling name was Strichael Jackson….how do you give up that name?! In Bowl Portland, your name means a lot, and to give that up is tough.

Das Strike Machine may need some help to get the final playoff spot in their division, and Rad Team will provide none of it. So they are now rooting for Bayside Hellraisers to keep Skol out of the playoffs. Badger has had a great year, and will be a nice addition to the league this winter. From his lofty perch in the top 10 in average it is a long way to their 2 and 3 bowlers in Dick Whitman and Slugga. And Rad Team will smell blood and get the comfortable win.

Bayside Hellraisers v. Skol (-3) – How the Bayside Hellraisers have one of the worst team averages in their division, yet are in a position to have a bye in in the playoffs is beyond me. I’d like to think it’s their clutch rolling, but the numbers say no. I’m starting to think it may be some type of sorcery spawned from the evil mind of G-Force. I mean, take a look at this guy at his home as his manservant Doc Moose tries to reason with him, and tell me he isn’t evil:

Skol needs a win or their season ends. Simple as that. New BoPo captain Viking will be looking to make a statement (and recruit a player or two?) by rolling huge scores and ripping the heart out of Big Party and company. Take it easy Viking!

Both will end up in the playoffs, where they will be playing next Tuesday in the Baker round.

Fuckdafino v. Winter is Here (-1) – Wow, after an amazingly mild fall, Winter is actually here…chilly out there! Both of these teams are on the outside looking in for the playoffs, so both need a win badly if they want to extend their season.  

This is the time of year where a team or two gets hot, and make a deep run into the playoffs that nobody saw coming. Unfortunately, neither of these teams will do that. They are both good enough to win a bunch, and bad enough to lose a bunch.

Winter is Here have 3 dudes in Robert Bowlratheon, Thursday Night King, and Pinslayer who can bust out huge games. Good thing, because Fuckdafino has Double Cheese who does that on the regular. As expected, LaLa has been killing it, but it will be the battle between Sparetime and Hark Attack for Fuckdafino and King, Pinslayer and The Dude for Winter that will decide the match. It will be a battle, but Cheese’s season ends tonight, and Rick Vaughn will talk shit about it for the next few months when they see each other 3 times a week during BoPo XI at their usual 4 pm practice sessions. They love the afternoon sessions…

Shitzengiggles v. Tea with Ms. McGill (-1) – Roadhouse just wants this season to be over and the oil pattern to change so he can go back to being the stud bowler he usually is. Having an average in the high 170’s is something any member of TDYOB would kill for, but it’s not up to the normal standards for Roadhouse. As his team’s season ends tonight, I expect his loose attitude to result in the scores they should have been rolling all year long, and will leave them happy with a win, but sad that their season ends.

Shitzengiggles has also had an up and down season, but a little too much down to really call it a success. They still make the playoffs, but will be limping into them off an upset loss. Deputy and Dick have been solid all season, and they will need Twinkle Toes to show up big tonight to get them the match. I like Dick to win the chug off and roll anchor; I like Deputy to roll a huge game tonight; and I like Soccer Dad to steal the win in game 3.

Too Much Too Fast (-1) v. Management – This one is critical if the Management want to make the playoffs, but no Tron will mean no win tonight for our beloved commissioner, his lovely wife, everyone’s favorite bartender (except Side Salad….Roll Bork!), our resident shirt designer/printer, and a lady who works in the biggest growth industry in Maine…weed!

Bombpop won’t be around, so it will be a steady dose of the Danarchy boys for Too Much Too Fast. Booth and Diesel have both been excellent all season long, and will carry their team to a playoff spot this evening. Too Much Too Fast has lost 5 matches 8-7 this season, and will finally win one 8-7 to punch their ticket to Tuesday rolling. Don’t worry Kelly, as another new member of Sons of Danarchy, know that the rules I mentioned for Couch do not apply to you.

As I close the last lines of the Draft season, I wanted to address a question we get all the time about how we find the videos for the lines….so here you go. Good luck tonight, everyone!


2 thoughts on “Cupid, Draw Back Your Bow

  1. Dick Whitman’s original bowling name was Evander Bowlyfield. Mitch Cumstein’s original name was Strichael Jackson.

    Why either of them changed off these names I will never understand.

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