Semis and Finals

And then there was 4! And let Oakie be the first to say fuck them all! Border Crossers knocked my boy Thunder’s team into the play-in where they fell to Spidey 3-2 199-186 game 5 coming off a 224! Ouch! Rufio killed everyone then gave away a game to Duke T so the road in the playoffs would be easier and they wouldn’t have that undefeated curse on their back. Shootout to Doc Moose winning free bowling with a 300. #getthepaintready!!!! Then Squatch sat Crow and Rubbys all three to get crushed by Glossy’s team while Squatch pretended to pull a Willis Reed. Jesus someone needs to give that guy a dutch-oven. Is Dutch available? I asked Glossy who beat Squatch and Glossy didn’t remember, and it was his team. Wow must have been the type of match worth making two people hate you for the rest of your life. On the other side of the bracket we have Brandy Savages who beat Spidey’s team, good fuck the guy! He leaves Increditurds for NED, bush league soccer shit.

Now they get to see Fart Nugget’s team drafted by her Jennifer 8’s beau Dick Du Jerkoff, he is calling himself GM of the year and everyone is like what’s wrong with this fucking guy:

Classic DDJ. So let’s get to some lines, then I have to do that hypothetical bullshit lines that we all hate, but I think it is pretty obvious let’s see if old Oakie can get this shit right.

Rufio and the Sauced Boys -5 versus Border Crossers: The Crossers thought they had a shot at Rufio the last team they matched upand got stomped 12-3 in 3 games. Glossy has realized you can have fun and bowl at the same time and what a surprise he is good again, way to work it out you fucking moron:

So yeah cooking and cleaning way less Glossy is bowling great, terrific, absolutely no one gives a fuck. Ever heard of fucking Rev Lord? Mama D is a strong ass 2, oh Tso has her by 30 fucking pins. Polly is a strong three at 185, oh theirs is 174. Good night Border Crossers great season now get the fuck out:

Drunken Noodle -8 vs Brandy Savages: This one ends in 2. Brandy picked a fantastic team. T$ had an awesome season, Gutterslut smashed pins, E Minor came around Cupid pick them to win it all but Nugget (DDJ) pulled off the hugest third round pick grabbing new Shark Ten Pin Hernia. Fucking guy is older than dirt, but he can still stroke it:

What the fuck just happened? Noodle has Railroad, Ten Pin was a coup was supposed to come attached to Peanut Gutter, then PG had his fifth midlife crisis and pulled out of Draft and BoPo, first time guy has pulled out in his life who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks?

Ha-ha, fuck Oakie makes himself laugh. #PSA. White Nugget, Swazey and the always consistent when his back isn’t falling off Jon Moon round out a strong ass squad. They will take out the savages in 2 games. That is most likely wrong, probably goes three but I think Railroad and Ten Pin are too much. Holy hell this dude is my new favorite thing:

Keep the underwear on everyone. Actually just keep it in your pants unless someone asks you to take it out, not that hard a rule to follow. Fucking dudes fly the cuckoo nest and shit these days.  

That brings us to the hypothetical finals, in the worst kept secret of the year Rufio’s team absolutely murders Drunken Noodle.

Rufio -8 versus Drunken Noodle: Rufio had the best draft. Animal and Twizzler have been clutch all year. Rev has been the MVP, Tso has murdered this pattern and found a way to troll at least one person on Facebook every day while playing both sides of the fence, and Rufio has been her clutch self, and Polly has gotten his groove back which is huge because now he isn’t a Debbie downer all the time, dude is tough to be around when he struggles on the lanes. Bring a box of tissues to Sharks and Strikes matches if Polly can’t negotiate the BoPo pattern, ha ha ha. The Noodles will be game but it appears Rufio and the Sauced Boyz have been a team of destiny all year and they will be damned if they are going to let anyone get in their way. BoPo major on the line so all teams will go all out, but in the end Oakie thinks the best team all year wins it props to Rufio and the Sauced Boyz and to Hungus and the staff for making the fall a rip roaring time once again. Shootout to Dawn because she wants one. Tip well, we all out off here until 1/18 when we met up and do it all over again. Happy Holidaze everyone. Count Oakie in as psyched for BoPo XI. Have fun out there and be nice to each or don’t, I honestly don’t give a fuck like Jim said I am going to have my kicks until this whole shithouse goes up in flames, and if you don’t like it sorry you missed out on the fun. So thanks BoPo, for the real good time:

#PullingaPoz would tell you that’s one of the top 5 live versions of all time and then an hour later tell you it is considered the best of all time by many, and you will be like, shut the fuck up man.




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