Waldorf here. Thursday took it up the proverbial ass last week with a bomb cyclone cancellation. That’s code for Hungus panicked and cancelled for like the 2nd time in 11 year. #WEAKSAUCE.
Well good news is Tuesday finally got roasted on the shitty music tip and tonight DJ TDYOB Atomik will be in the house!
Leisure Rolls -12 versus Tattoos and Titties: Last I checked Train Conductor and Rubbys were still in Vegas so that probably helps T&T. Let’s see if Rubbys plays in more BoPo games than he did in Draft League. Let’s be honest if the guy didn’t suck he would get played more. The original Trolls sport D$, Magic and way too much firepower for Ralphie and gang. They are rolling early too which means no one will have fun because bowling early blows.
DHD (1-0) -1 vs Spare of the Dogs: Long ago team of the year squad Spare of the Dogs is back to Thursday with the TOTY team. Yao, Bomb, Probie, Mona, Hootie and that douche that is only better than Probie and talks shit all the time who I can’t remember his name. Oh yeah Jewdy. Awful fucking tool that he is. This line would be way bigger if the podcast didn’t literally try to kill G Force. If Skinny Skeletor isn’t your motherfucking idol you need to check yourself. This dude crushes pins, like literally owns the pocket, loves the BoPo vibe and parties like he is 23 not 73, the wild old nut that he is, thank God he is still alive may he rest in peace. DHD smoked TDYOB opening night, but now they have name change episode Inferno in the building as well as Kingpin. The only reason sees DHD winning is because it is opening night for the Dogs and the only sober person on the team come 6:15 p.m. will be Yao Romo. Bombpop will take a half day and do this:
Jesus Christ Buffalo must suck, ask XXX Club they would know.
GOB -1 vs Bowled and the Beautiful: Wow Thursday A is so much more forgiving than Tuesday A, literally every team in this league save for Sharks and Strikes could beat these teams. These teams are terrible. If either team breaks 650 Waldorf will be shocked. No one on B&B has been spotted at lanes since draft, and on GOB Holden Donkey King of Howie’s tried to overthrow Hand as Captain this offseason. #hostiletakeover Do yourself a favor don’t watch this match. SeaTown and Nurple will be the difference in this one, here is Hand and Holden (in the Adidas sweats) after the match:
ICBING -1 versus Bowlderdash: Jesus Christ we are 11 years in and I still don’t know anyone on Bowlderdash maybe Waldorf is an elitist prick. ICBING is a known commodity the vast majority of folks on the team suck real ass at bowling and love to party. Which is definitely preferred to being good at bowling and sucking real ass at partying see Strikes of Hazzard. Last time LB and Rev partied was on another fucking life. LOS fits that mold too. #waterframe Whoops Cheese isn’t talking to Waldorf for a month, well this is awkward. Bowlderdash is game but Fabio sits down 2 Dogs after one and he and Rocky eek out the victory:
Long time teams going at it but scores won’t get close to 600.
FC Portland -5 versus Pinny Candy: This is a fucking grudge match. A few years ago a guy on Pinny Candy lost it about early matches going long and Oolie ruined his fucking life. If you aren’t down to party get the fuck out. Ram Rod and gang will be hyped to get on the lanes. Executive Order and crew will be looking to just get it over ad get the fuck out, they have bills to pass.
Happy Hands -2.5 versus UREA!: UREA! took a ton of losses this offseason except for C Murda because no one wanted that fucking guy. Piss drunk fucking cock that he is. Happy Hands is a long time proud BoPo team and I see them outlasting UREA! who are in the midst of a long rebuild. Hopefully J Bird can steer this ship into the party lane if not long season ahead:
Now get out there ad get loose, don’t forget to have fun and tip your server, don’t pull a Tango.