Half The Lines

What the fuck?! It’s March, so I am not down with a blizzard on BoPo days. We should be moving beyond this by now. Thank you Invisible Hand for shoveling the walkways near the lanes.

Late matches for me this week, away we go.
Lions Den (-3) v. 5 Finger Discount – 5 Finger put a scare into LOS last week, jumping out to a 4-1 lead that should have been 5-0 but for a lucky backwards strike by Cheese. But alas, they gave up 9 of the last 10 in another loss.
Lion’s Den have been having about all the success their 609 team average can give them. In this case, they should get another win. And then Das Ducken breaks out her extremely strong hip hop game:

This match will feature a good battle between an artistic Rick Vaughn and Dutch, who is doing his best to turn into Natro. Beard? Check. Same (lack of) fashion? Check. Decent bowling? Check. Fake Natro should be his new name. Here are Natro and Fake Natro trying to learn more about how to woo women from Mokiki, who sees himself as some type of expert now that he knows his boys can swim.

LOS (-5) v. TDYOB – No Munson for TDYOB this week, and that will make the tall task even taller. At least it’s a late match so Bork has an opportunity to make LOS’ night run late, something they will not enjoy. So if anyone is in need of a safety meeting, hit ‘em up early and often. Here are LOS waiting for TDYOB:

Tonight also marks the BoPo debut of Clown Penis for TDYOB. Quite possibly the best pilot names since these guys names that slipped through:

You can generate your own call sign for tonight at the link below…use it for a game and see how it works!

Call Sign Generator

Fuck that, I’m not using mine, it gave me “Pyknik”. In case you were wondering, Thunder was “Tophand”, Spooky got “Starfish”, and Mo$, you are “Look”. Clown Penis is far superior to any of those. Speaking of penis…

I gotta start DVR’ing that show….
LOS is expecting the entire crew, including Mr. His Giant Redwood who is flying in from Asia morning of the match weather permitting. Jet lag should be a factor, seeing as he is coming from a place that is about 12 hours ahead of BoPo time. Precious will be in a rush to get the win and get the hell out of there. Cheese will be the guy in the middle of it all, seeing some friends, having a few laughs, drinking a few beers, and getting another W.
Guacabowle (-3) v. B&B – This one will be closer than people think. B&B just came off a match where there were 200’s all over the place. Guac will need to roll well to get the win. I think they do it, but won’t be easy.
B&B is having one of those years. They added Strike Tyson, and here was the reaction from Saw in the team room: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umDr0mPuyQc
Even a night of big scores won’t get them a win tonight, but they should have fun at the postgame, at least until the flip cup match at Howies.

Kind of mean of the gang to set up Dump Truck like this (also pretty mean to poison Saw, El Hombre, Mr. Mayor and Strike Tyson), but Guac likes winning both on and off the lanes…
Bowlderdash (-3) v. Happy Hands Productions – Bowlderdash has their sites set on the B Playoffs, and win tonight will keep them on track for a playoff spot.
Happy Hands are finding life with a team average below 500 can be full of losses, and tonight will be no exception. Expect Max Shipp to drop a patented 138 tonight en route to the loss.
On the podcast I failed at the quiz to name a bunch of the bowlers on Bowlderdash, but I did get this name: Michael Bowlton. He and Lois Lanes were on the local news talking about the storm:

Pinny Candy (-3) v. ICBING – Pinny Candy is on a mission to make some noise in the playoffs; ICBING is on no such mission. The loss of Rocky Balbowla makes a difference for this team, and the way Pinny Candy is rolling they get the win without too much trouble.
Another request for our State Legislators…

Roll Another (-5) v. Puds Taxi – Puds Taxi got a win, so it’s all gravy from here on out for this crew. Roll Another has had a disappointing season by their standards, but will get a win tonight.
Roll Another has a member with one of the best bowling names out there in Chupacabra. Thought to be a mythical beast, it turns out he is real, and he rolls a lot of 120’s. Actually, turns out that a lot of Roll Another roll in the 120s. Good week to be getting Puds on the schedule.
Couldn’t think of a clip for this match, so here’s the obligatory Lebowski clip in honor of its 20th anniversary:

A fitting tune for the send off today…

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