What we do in life echoes in eternity:
TDYOB (1-1) -5 versus GOB (1-1): Holden Green has either recently come into money, is having a schizophrenic episode (not that there’s anything wrong with that) or mentally disabled. Quite frankly it is probably a mix of 2 and 3. The guy bet everyone under the sun he would beat them in average and the fact is he just isn’t that good in bowling. Only person he probably beats will be Thunder, but that will be break even as Thunder is currently $50 ahead in side bets every time he comes to lanes. This past Sunday in restaurant he pounded Holden head to head every game 194, 194, 158 causing Holden to cry and beg Thunder not to take “his last twenty!” Pathetic, good luck collecting on those tabs folks. As Invisible Hand always says it isn’t like the Bayside Mechanics are well paid. Take it up with the union pal. Looks like Hand got the butt-mud flu that’s been going around Bayside. Bayside Plague 20.0! Jesus folks wash your freaking hands, hand sanitize and if sick, stay the fuck out of the lanes! For Bork, Spare-O and Farmer are killing it and everyone else is on the struggle bus, look for that to change as they lock horns with a Thursday rival. Last year they beat GOB handedly and as the night ended Jon Moon declared, “You guys are fun, but I am sick of him!” motioning at Thunder, expect more of the same Jon Moon. Damn it I hate that Doctor Thunder!
Here are hand and Holden on the way home to their hovels:
My Balls (0-2) -15 versus Spare of the Dogs (0-2): Spare of the Dogs are slowly making their way to Thursday B. My Balls are rolling well but slowly adjusting to the big leagues, well non Tuesday A big leagues that is, Tuesday A is the Banner League. My Balls gets their first big league win tonight as the Spare of the Dog crew are now just terrible at bowling 536.2 bad. Fortunately, this former TOTY loves each other’s company and doesn’t really care too much about the bowling anymore. Here they are after the match and The Jeweled Tool Box:
You guys are dorking up my vibe with all the dicks.
Touch My Excite (2-0) -10 versus BUI 0-1: Hate to say I told ya so, but I did, BUI is an also ran this year. Look for La Ga Squatch and crew to absolutely smoke them in two games tonight. This is going to be a long season for this once proud franchise and the always overconfident G Unit. Hexy looked good Sunday night so expect a bounceback from her, but for the boys to remain on the struggle bus indefinitely. Expect this to be like the Pats in Arrowhead this weekend getting absolutely beatdown. Here is Squatch and G Unit after the match:
Bowlderdash (1-1) -3 versus Five Finger Discount (0-2): 5 Finger getting exactly what they got in A last year. Beat down. Bowlderdash finding it hard to overcome that 95 average from Pineapple who thinks her wrist pain is due to yoga, when it is actually due to rolling 95s. Rufio in crew will give it that good old college try but, in the end, Bowlton and Boys will be too much and will be discounted their second win of the season. Here is Pineapple hurting her wrists:
UREAI (1-1) -15 versus Bad News Spares: ICBING’s least favorite team takes on the Bad News Spares. These ladies live up to their name, although with a 432 team average probably should be calling themselves Bad News Get No Spares. Confucius say throw it at pins and pray for luck. J Bird will have the crew ready to show no mercy especially after getting disrespected on and off the lanes by the undefeated ICBING last week.
Wow take it easy Ron Burgundy dude needs some diversity and inclusion training.
Don’t Party Mix (2-0) -15 versus PinUps (1-1): The losers at Party Mix have decided to go dry in hopes of not winning a B title. Well everyone except Bowl Murray who literally has no clue where she is every Thursday night. PinUps are just happy to be here. Expect Don’t Party Mix to roll all over them tonight like a dry wedding. Jesus I cannot believe there are such things.