Sparkles Does Everyone

Well folks, we’ve made it through the first month of BoPo and all I can say is I’m digging all these low scores out there. Strikes are for show and spares are for dough, just ask the prettiest bowler in the league, Deputy. Just finished up a crazy weekend of candlepin just winning bets left and right! Go Pats and thanks for the beers DDJ! Hopefully the Tuesday party keeps this great week going in spite of an unprecedented decision by Hungus to award Strike City the Team of the Year award before the halfway point of the season… Anyway I’ve got a terrible 6 hour ride ahead of me and the entire slate of lines tonight, so let’s go.




Budweisers (2-3) -1 vs Mindz in the Gutter (2-2)

After being right up there every season for the B title, Ric Spair ditches the Buds to become a Hoobastank DJ and now they’re amongst the “also rans” of B. The Noyes boys and gals have done great work in their rookie season with Swayze and Lushis putting up some fine scores. Looks for Marks a Lot and P Mixxx to get things going on the “fresh” and lead Buds to a close win.


Bowl Trolls (3-2) -1 vs Poultry Association (4-0)

Poultry has been rolling as advertised with Mayo and Iceburg leading the way and Regular Sized Pickle pitching in nicely. Bowl Trolls have the slight edge in team average and with one more loss putting them in that Kenny Loggins territory, I can see them rolling heavy this match. Gutterslut can be money in big games and this is a big one early in the season.


Wrecking Balls (3-2) -3 vs Incredibowls (2-3)

I called out Incredibowls last week and they came out firing in a big upset. God of Thunder is finding his groove and Island Boy has got the jitters out. Wrecking Balls have the 2nd best avg in B right now and sit in that Danger Zone of a crushing losing killing their season. Xander and Biscuit Wheel are holding the team up right now and I see them continuing that trend.


Swinging Richards (4-0) -5 vs Saucy Posse (4-1)

Saucy pulled off an impressive win over league enemy Sharks last week. Splinter came up clutch in the 10th of game 3 to seal the deal. Beef and Walter are also putting together some great scores this season. Richards have looked like the team to beat so far. Deputy and Sparkles make up half of the league’s 200 average bowlers, which is a testament to how tough this pattern is. Most depth in the league as well with 162 being their low average. Injury report has Nut Sauce out for tonight which swings this line drastically in the Richards favor.


Sharks & Strikes (4-1) -3 vs SOD (2-3)

The Rev Lord and Couch combo has underachieved a bit this season, but the wacky burn and Couch getting crushed every week because he’s got a DD is probably to blame. McStriker is quietly having a good season and overall the team sits at a 662 avg. Sharks took a loss last week to Saucy but they know regular season losses in BoPo are about as meaningful as a middle school relationship. DDJ is a rare 200 avg and is doing a dry February. Cheddar is Cheddar and Speedy is faking it nicely. Look for a rebound week for Sharks


SKOL (1-3) -1 vs Binga’s (1-4)

I’m sure not many had these two teams with only one win through the first month. Binga’s replaces Mango Mike with Gutterboy and basically gets the same avg. Guy was tossing 200s left and right in Casco Bay last week… Tommy Gunz our the league on notice week one and no one has noticed him since. Viking won money on the Pats this weekend so look for him to spend all that dirty money on shots that will loosen up the rest of the squad and help them squeak out a close win.




Hookers (2-3) -5 vs BILF (1-3)

BILFs finally got me an upset win last week getting their first win. Danks and co have a taller task this week, though. Hookers have the avg to be among Tuesday’s elite but haven’t been able to put the wins together. Flatline has been staying alive up there but Rotini looks bored and Plan D seems more focused on trying to stop overlapping Tinder dates again. Hard to pick against a 50 pin avg gap. Look for Eggroll to stuff in home


Strikes on Tap (4-0) -3 vs Ball That (4-1)

Ball That is somehow 4-1 without really being all that impressive… It’s a borderline bag of dicks out there. Squampch and Twinkle are way under their normal averages. The one bright spot has been free agent Chatty. Strikes have an impressive 600 avg and are undefeated. Cleaner has a good squad with Scrapper and Birdman leading the charge. Hard to pick against them here unless the Sparkles reverse curse is real.


Burners -5 (2-3) vs Whoomp! (1-3)

Good thing Whoomp got a crossover game and beat a Thursday D team because they’re riding the hard struggle bus right now. Johnny Castle has been the lone dim spot and might snag a top point or two. Burners live it up every week like you’re supposed to. No props just safety and beers. I’m sure they’ll be very disappointed to know Team of the Year is already over but that shouldn’t stop them from getting to 3-3.


Oddballs (3-1) -1 vs Off Constantly (3-2)

This is about as even of a match as possible on paper. Both teams 661 avg. All the Oddboys are 171-175 and OC has Mama D and Hoss over 170 with Natro being able to explode any week. Looks like Mini Guinea might be on this roster for show so I’m taking Oddballs with their ability to roll deep most weeks


Y&B2 (2-2) -9 vs Hazzard (1-4)

Hazzard knocked off undefeated Thursday team DHD, which shows you how strong Thursday teams are… LB has been allowed to bowl all season and has taken advantage of it fully. CJ is about the only person on YB who is guaranteed to show up each week, which makes it tough to handicap their matches. This week is probably the exception. Pretty sure they could bring on Busta and Shifter and have both of them get thrown out after 5 frames and still win.


BEER (4-1) -3 vs Turkey Club (2-3)

Is Club good anymore? Or are they just sandbagging us? Bucky is only at 203… which is normal for him through 9 frames. Seems to me like they’re shutting down til the playoffs. Kinda cocky to think you’re the Golden State Warriors after one title but I love it. BEER wants so desperately to part of the big table of BoPo again. They’ve pushed for a couple wins since their week 1 shellacking. Trainwreck has caught fire and General Lee has been saving it for 2v2. Hungus is currently sitting on the last spot for the All Star game so look for him to have a big night tonight.

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