Thursday Lines From Space

We made it!  Another season draws to a close, and on behalf of all the people of Thursday, thank you Hungus and all the amazing Bayside staff for another fantastic year!  Still lots to play for tonight, so I’ll try to “keep it real” as the kids say for this weeks lines.

Before we begin, a few notes about the BoPo invasion of Las Vegas last week.  First and foremost, well done BoPo!!  Special congrats to Spare-O for walking out on his tab, now that’s commitment to the craft.  And extra special congrats to Spare-O and Dentist on their tattoos to commemorate the trip.  Here they are picking up their sweet threads for the Masters finals and checking out their tats:

And speaking of threads, apparently we kicked up a bit of a shitstorm among the bowling nerds out there for being our fun-loving selves.  I absolutely cannot wait to unleash a full scalemovement of that look on Monday night.  EVERYONE, you have to come.  We will all have a blast, and the pros will (again) be blown away by the BoPo scene.  Peace and love, people, peace and love:

On to the matches.  I have them all, and I just got back from a bender in South Beach, so these may be brief, but know that, as always, none of this is serious.  Except that video of Dentist and Spare-O.  That actually happened.


Average Eskibros (-3) v. My Balls  Congrats to the Average Eskibros on their Thursday A title.  That’s how you make a move.  Basically see what YB2 did, and then do the opposite.  Congrats on the #1 seed.

As for My Balls, they had a snake bitten year, but the reality is that Thursday A is a grind of a ton of teams that can beat you any week and also lose to almost anybody every week.  Just wasn’t their year, and now they will have a brutal first round playoff match.  Cleveland turned into a great pick up, and I am looking to him to get some top points and keep this one close.

Leisure Rolls (-1) v. Touch My Xcite – Leisure Rolls put up huge numbers but have also piled up a huge number of losses this year.  I wouldn’t want to play them in the playoffs.  Here’s coach Insanal reflecting on some recent losses and looking ahead:

Touch will end the year in the middle of the pack with everyone else on Thursday.  And with a close loss to the Leisure Rolls.  Magic, you looked marvelous on TV, by the way.  Dutch, if you were on TV I doubt I’d be saying the same to you, you drunk.  Do your team a favor and get them a win tonight.

GOB (-5) v. Spare of the Dog – Holden Green is going to make some money this season with all his bets.  I like it.  The dude felt good, bet on himself, and is going to cash in.  He even tried to get Thunder to pay him a second time yesterday, hoping that Thunder forgot paying him the first time.  Also a smart move.

Spare of the Dog picked up Casual Hundo, had a fun as hell season, collected zero wins, walked out on 2 tabs, and had a few team dinners to boot.  We all should look to them as a model of what BoPo is about.  Come hang with your crew on Thursday nights through this long winter and party!  

GOB will need some help in other matches but if it breaks right they will be top 4 on Thursday.  Which, as I’ve said before, is like being one of the 4 tallest people in a room full of midgets.

Holden at Howies after the match:

Hey now!!  Guess I’m going to Howie’s this week!

LOS (-3) v. BUI – LOS will have three people in the top 5 of averages for the year on Thursday, but has some work to do to get second in Thursday.  And I feel comfortable congratulating Putt Putt Pass on leading Thursday in average.  Cheese has a shot, but with over 20 games in so far, averages don’t oscillate wildly anymore.  Putt Putt Pass giving it to Cheese after edging him in average, and then Cheese getting a bit fired up about it: 

Lucky for LOS they get BUI to close their regular season.

Whiskey Pete was crushing some Jack today putting in some work to get ready for the match.  But no other BUI’ers in the house.  That spells trouble, and I like LOS to take care of business.

FC Portland (-1) v. Pinups – This is a HUGE early match, with B playoff spots on the line.  There is a cluster of teams fighting for the 3, 4, and 5 B playoff spots, and the Pinups can punch their ticket with a win.  They have a slight team average lead, but Ollie is back, and I think he is the difference in this one, then it will come down to all sorts of tie breakers.  

Give me the loud and proud crew of FC Portland to add some chaos to B seedings.

Urea! (-3) v. Pinny Candy – Same as above, B playoff spots on the line.  But this time I am picking the 7-5 team (Urea!) to beat the 6-6 team (Pinny Candy).  Urea! is darn good.  And they send the Pinny Candy crew out with a loss tonight, and lock in a playoff spot.  Casual T after checking the standing to confirm they make the B Playoffs for the second straight year…Place at the Table!


Five Finger Discounts (-7) v. Bad News Spares  Rufio! will get into the playoffs again.  This is the hot team in Thursday B now, so look out!  Congrats on rallying from a slow start to get to this spot.

For the Bad News Spares, another regular season ends tonight with tons of fun, a few strikes, a couple spares, and even a strike spare (Hey, everyone loves a strike spare!).  

ICBING (-3) v. Bowled and Beautiful – ICBING has the 1 seed for Thursday B locked up.  But I don’t fear any letdown from them tonight, and I see a comfortable win as they prepare to bring some special wackiness to the PBA next week.

The season didn’t turn out completely as planned this year for B&B, but I do know that they are a great bunch of people, and BoPo is lucky to have them.  I think this is a team that will threaten for a B title in the future now that they know the scene.  But we’ll consider this a transition year.

Lesbowlians (-3) v. Strike City – If I had to be on a different BoPo team, both of these squads would make my short list.  But something tells me neither of them would have me.

Lesbowlians can force all sorts of weird tiebreakers for B playoff spots if they win and some other matches go the right way for them.  By picking them I hope I don’t jinx it for them.

I love the vibe of Strike City.  Just love it.  I think they can credit it to some team building they did last summer.

Party Mix (-5) v. Roll Another – Party Mix locked in the #2 seed from Thursday B, and they’ll take care of business tonight.  Good prep for the B playoffs.  Big Party credits his off seasonregimen to their success:

Not bad, made it almost all year without a Benny Hill video.  Prolly because Hakeem and Bowl Murray were great fodder for videos this year.  Expecially this classic from a couple months ago:

Guacabowle (-1) v. DHD – This is a great match to close the year, and will be a great playoff tune up for both squads.  Reality is either of these teams could have a deep playoff run, and I wouldn’t be surprised.

My gut is telling me Guac squeaks this one out.  I think the long delayed ski trip righted Dick Whitman’s mind and Mitch’s performance in Vegas was super impressive.  I think Dick gets one of those crazy big scores tonight and helps steal the win.  Bowlin Nolan will be a sad hombre after hearing the news:

PS – DHD, you better be treating my lady Fuckyata with respect!!  Remember, Be Gentle!

TDYOB (-3) v. Lion’s Den – This is the first meeting for these two teams in two seasons as they didn’t match up last year.  So it’s been a while….the last time they played Ricky V and that dude who looks like Waldo were on the team.  Now they added Steven Ricci (screaming for a name change), so it’ll be a different scene.  It’s always a blast to spend an evening with Lion’s Den, and I for one am looking forward to it.

Theses teams are tied in the standings, but we all know TDYOB is #1 in your hearts.  This should be a nice way to close out the season for both squads, and I like Bork to leave the lanes very late and very happy with the victory.

I had a blast writing these this year, and I’m sure I’ll do some playoff lines as well.  But until then, check this out…been listening to these guys lately, I am digging it.  Not my usual fare, but so good:

Love ya, BoPo.  Lets rage tonight, and lets get fired up for next week!!

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