Farmer Breaks Down Saturday

Congrats to all of us for surviving another season of Bowl Portland!  We started this run on New Years Day, with holiday hangovers, and now we bring BoPo XII to a close just one week away from the Kentucky Derby.  People always say that the summers in Maine are perfect, and its definitely the best time of the year.  But they are wrong.  BoPo is the best time of the year in Portland.  Do you get together with 100 friends every week in the summer??  Me neither.  We do get a few more chances due to PBA visiting us in June and July, but tonight is one final opportunity to blow it out with the BoPo family.  So get your Lawrence Welk on and lets do this!!


B Finals, 2:30 pm:

Strikes on Tap (-1) v. Splits Happen – Folks, this starts at 230, but I don’t think you’ll want to miss it.  This will be a close one, get down and see someone win a banner!

The top two teams from Tuesday B will battle it out for a banner, and both are deserving finalists and worthy champions.  Strikes on Tap led Tuesday B in wins, points and team average.  Scrapper John MR (I thought his name ended in MD most of the season) has led the way, and is the top bowler in the match over Triple G.  They will need him to take top points as this one will be close.  Bones (the one on Splits Happen, not the guy on Roll Another) will be a solid number 2, and he better be sharp to hold off The Cleaner and Birdman.  They will need those #2 points.

Sarge is going to be critical in this one.  He underestimated the party intensity of BoPo, but he’s now all in, and if they win it will be because he steals some points from Cleaner or Birdman.  Might happen once, but will it happen multiple times?

I think Strikes on Tap takes the title because of Le Femme and Princess Pinnacle.  They will take points, and in the end get the key eighth point they need for victory!

I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that Captain Spare-O bailed on Splits Happen just to watch them compete for a title.  Classic addition by subtraction.  Spare-O literally lost his car the same week that the lines had a video about him from the movie “Dude, Where’s My Car?”.  Guys a mess.  Here’s proof, this is the footage of Spare-O and Xander Rolle from 2 weeks ago:

Dude! Sweet!


2v2 Finals, 3 pm


White Russian/Shooter McGill (-2) v. LaLa/Bora Bora – These finals matches are tough to predict, just watch these great bowlers in action.  Strikes all over the place when these 4 hit the lanes.

One thing I am curious about with the 2v2’s is that White Russian also has a team finals later in the day.  Will that be distracting? Is it too much bowling in a day?  Will she use it as an extended warm up?  I think the answers are no, no and no.  So give me White/Shooter over Lala/Bora in a close one.

The 2v2 format lends itself to bowloffs, which would be Scotch Doubles (this means bowlers shoot every other shot, not every other frame).  If it goes to a bowloff, I think it gets very interesting.  Lefty Lala will leave spares that Bora usually doesn’t get as a righty (and vice versa).  Shooter’s hard and fast straight ball leaves things White Russian may not be accustomed to.  So it will come down to who strikes more.  If it goes to the bowloff, give me Lala and Bora.  But I think White Russian and Shooter get it done.


Doc Moose/G Force (Bowloff Win) v. Dick Du Jour/Railroad – I am picking the upset (?) in this one in a bowloff for the simple reason that DDJ has a big match Saturday at 5 pm, so that means he and Railroad will not be drinking 52 Truly’s during their match.  You never switch up what was working for the finals.  Throws off the vibe.  But something tells me Railroad isn’t too interested in drinking after passing out face first on the Curvy table Thursday night.  At least he didn’t pull a Deputy!

I see it being a close one, and going to a bowloff that the loose duo of Doc Moose and G Force get a major. Thursday!!


BoPo Finals, 5 pm


Sharks and Strikes (-1) v. Saucy Posse – If anyone was at the lanes to watch the playoffs Thursday, you know that picking against either of these teams is a high risk maneuver.  Both of these teams can drop an 800 at any time, and some team Saturday will roll a 730 and get zero points.

Sharks and Strikes survived a couple of scares en route to the finals.  SOD has a single pin spare to beat them in 2 games but missed it, and Sharks took advantage.  Then in the quarter-finals, they had to survive a 205 in a baker bowl-off from Turkey Club.  They did that in most impressive fashion with a 246.  Yikes, that’s crazy.  And before you say anything, it was 100% okay that Sharks rolled 4 bowlers in the bowloff.  Paulie Metro left work early to cheer on the team, had not bowled at all, and then some think he should have had to roll in the deciding bowloff?

Saucy Posse was on the ropes against LOS, but the tenth frame of game 2 was unkind to LOS and Saucy took care of business from there.  BoPo historians will remember they were pushed to the limit against YB2 in the semis in their title year of 2017, so they have proven they have what it takes to survive a storm and come out on top.

Anyway, lets see here…Sharks starting 4 feature a 199 guy (Cheddar), and 190 guy (DDJ) a 188 guy (Ten Pin) and 160 gal (White Russian).  Add it up and you get 737.  Saucy’s top line has a 192 lady (Nut Sauce), a 189 guy (Splinter), a 178 guy (Beef Strokinoff), and 175 guy (Walter).  Totals up to 734.  And don’t forget Hot Sauce is rolling smooth now with 2 hands.  These numbers are why I think it will be a close one, but at the end of the night I think it is another new champion in BoPo, Sharks and Strikes.


Ok everyone, lets bring it this evening!  I have a super sweet tuxedo from the 70’s ready to rock, hope you are ready for some retro fun!  We will have a big band on the scene, and I for one am excited to see their reaction to BoPo.  Karaoke is likely from 12-1, so prep your best material, and try to out-do Hungus.

One more Saturday night…

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