Late Lines From Farmer

Week 1 in the books, and as I sit to write the lines for week 2, I really didn’t spend a lot of time figuring
out what happened last week, except that I do know that I won and Thunder lost. So there’s that.
Thunder last Thursday:

And based on the way things are going for that guy, this may be Thunder by season’s end. Here we see
Doctor as a special guest in Doc Moose and Lil’ Pickle’s home:

I get the late matches this week. Over time I will get to know everyone’s team names, etc., but for the
next couple of weeks might take me a while to get it straight. #thatswhytheycallitdope
Doc Moose (-15) v. Pineapple – They put this one on the West side, and Doc Moose will crush in this
one to get their first win of the season. And good thing, because being the only team with zero points
must suck. Might be a good way for Precious to get some work in on the new pattern. Here is
Pineapple out to dinner after realizing that they might not score a lot of points this season:

On to the East Side:
Diesel (-3) v. Shirtless F#ckers – I got my first look at King Ding Dong last week, and he will be just fine.
This just in, that guy can bowl. But late nights on BoPo nights get a little wacky, so he’s not in full crush
mode….yet. OB (that’s Original Bowler for those not in the know) Danny Diesel would like to remind
him of the fact that he has banners on the wall, and is not a man to be trifled with:

Classic Danny, can’t even get his opponent’s name right. It’s King Ding Dong, not King Kong, Diesel.
Diesel assembled a sneakily mediocre team, and I think they pull it off tonight. Ruby made a great
pickup with Cygnus, so he will get some points, but I think HBK outduels KDD, and that gets them the
Glossy Mexican (-5) v. Walter – This is no insult to Walter at all. The most impressive start to the season
was definitely had by the team Glossy assembled. Jr. Hoss had a long string of strikes to start a game,
and Frankie wasn’t far behind. Walter has a solid team, and Viking seems to be feeling good on this
pattern, but they can’t keep up with those guys. By the way, I am loving the alternative names Hungus
has given Glossy’s team in the schedule.
Glossy told me he felt like a ninja after this draft, so wanted to prove it to his friends with some sweet
sword play:

Walter when he realizes that he has no chance to win tonight:

Yes is More! (-1) v. Nugget – Space Farmer’s Yes Is More! Squad out-dueled Hungus’ The Strike is Right
last week, and they look to be well set up for late night fun on Thursdays. Whitman and Farmer tried to
party with the Governor for good luck, but turns out she wasn’t down for it. This week will be close, but
Yes Is More! finds the way to get the win. El Hombre Duro was a silent assassin of the 10 pin last week,
going 5 for 6 in his chances, and the ever strong sock and shoe game of Animal was on full display.
Nugget crushed week 1 with a super sweet 214 average, and has tasked Tango and Squeaky G with
leading the way this season. But she forgot Squeaky has to wake up at 2:30 in the morning for work, so
late games are tough for that guy. Here he is sleepwalking straight to work tomorrow morning after a
particularly rough post-game at Howies:

For the record, I have warned you these lines are NSFW.
The Strike is Right (-3) v. Cakeball II – Hungus and Jerk both struggled a bit on the late lanes last week,
both getting a crazy number of splits. I think it was because of all his stress about the parking situation,
which was pretty tough, amiright? Here is Hungus last week out front assessing the parking skills of
Garlic Jones.

I can only guess that The Strike is Right will right the ship this week and get a win against Cupcake,
Gunzz, Tilt, Boys, Garlic, and DC.
Newly married Rocky Balbowla will make his season debut tonight, and maybe Dumptruck makes her
debut tonight also. Which should be an adventure after months of not bowling. Slow Roll bowled right
handed for the first time in many months last week, so maybe she can show her some tricks.
Deputy (-3) v. The Hole Package – I have no idea how they did it, but last week The Hole Package rode
the karma of Holden’s birthday to an upset win over Doc Moose. And they got some spectacular shirts
to boot. Speaking of shirts, huge shout out to The Fuge for supplying a ton of great designs (so far) to
many draft league teams. Hit him up to get your team shirts! Don’t be the only team without a logo!
Deputy has a good team. Well, the people I know are good on his team. Not sure who Mr. Hilti or
Carolina are, so please stop by and say hi tonight. I’ll be the guy in the orange shirt, you can’t miss me.
Anyway, back to the match. Deputy and Crackerjackoff will form a good 1-2 punch this season, and I
think they will outpace The Hole Package. Bowl Murray and Holden both were out at post-game last
week, very impressive seeing as they rolled early. That’s some strong work. Not sure about you, but in
my experience I never get home early when I have an early match…I just start earlier. Tonight Holden
and Team fall to 1-1 on the year. A shirtless Holden after the match tonight with his lady:

Nice responsible response from Purple Nurple and BoraBora.
Dr. Thunder’s Revenge (-1) v. Shooter McDabbin – Thunder and team ran into a buzz saw last week,
with Splinter dropping a 300 on them to open the season. Not even the terrible rolling of Spare-O could

save Thunder from a crushing defeat. Tonight they should be able to get one in the win column. I
mean, Mitch doesn’t do this at Howie’s every week before the match, does he?

Shooter has an entire run of Phish-themed shirts planned for his draft teams. They started strong this
season, love that logo. This is a battle of two teams that play all late schedules, so over time they will
both be dialed in on the burn, but for now give me Thunder. This one has bowloff potential, pushing
this match even later. And you know, that would be pretty sweet:

We’ll close with this:

Something tells me many of us get told not to eat the kids lunch after getting back from BoPo…oh, wait, I’m the only one?

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