It is currently 10:19am. Bayside has no power on the West side, the computers are f’d, and the roof got walloped. That said, the East Side is up and running so we’re making it happen one way or the other!
Also, it is Captain’s playlist night. There will be some very jarring tempo and vibe changes throughout the night, but it sure is entertaining, and there are three Lizzo songs.
Walter (5-2) -3 vs Denim Vajean (6-1): Walter crushed my team, and we beat Denim Vajean. Ipso facto. No quid pro quo! Viking is having breakout year but the whole Walter squad contributes, there are no easy points. The Vajean has a comfortable lead in the Lala Division so a loss won’t hurt them, according to my great and unmatched wisdom. Here’s Walter’s response to everyone critiquing his team’s lack of uniforms.
Phish Bowl (4-3) -3 vs Shirtless Fuckers (2-5): The Fuckers are up against the wall. They can still make a playoff run but a win tonight basically eliminates them from the postseason. Speaking of postseasons, Squatch may be a bit distracted watching his beloved Yankees, but I think he’ll do enough for 2nd while Duke T battles the Ding Dong. Here’s a shirtless fucker we almost booked at Bayside a couple years back before he blew up.
Spared No Expense (5-2) -5 vs Six Tits (3-4): Well, Gutterboy rolled another 300 last night. As Thunder (or TTBB, or Dick Du Jour the origin is murky) said today, ‘guy has more bricks than dinners with his kids’. At least the team has that to celebrate, because tonight should be another exhibition of Glossy’s team’s dominance. The preseason number one is back to the one spot and cruising toward a major. Here’s a catchy ditty with some video of them dominating.
Truth Hurts (3-4) -1 vs Strike Is Right (4-3): Two weeks ago this looked a like a great matchup. Now both teams are fading and need a win to keep their precarious holds on playoff spots. Truth Hurts has great depth, and can roll out a lineup with no one under 160. SIR can not do that. Squeaky G brings his A game when he battles Hungus so I expect him to roll great. Here’s a look inside Jerk and Hungus’ minds at postgame as they think about Squeaky G having beat them.
Baeside Rollers (6-1) -1 vs Murder of Crows (5-2): This should be a great one, a coupl eof teams at the top of the standings and power rankings. Cheese keeps rolling 279+, it’s just a mater of time til the bricks start showing up. The Crows counter with Nut Sauce who also is due for a Bayside brick. They should have some shootouts at the top. Brownmichaelcox has been a pleasant surprise and keep the Rollers loose, while Mama D just grabs point after point. Hambone will drop a couple 200’s, and Mokiki is having a strong year, but I’ll give the tiny edge to Cheese who is having a killer season. This video is apropos of nothing but it does say ‘nut cheese’ in the title so here you go.
Vice Squad (3-4) -1 Schnitzengiggles (5-2): Upset alert! Vice Squad is desperate for a win to keep their season alive – the Nut Conference is a bit more top heavy. Hot Gravy has ben posting some huge scores after work and its due for another big league night. Roadhouse wil hang with the S n’ G big guns. Newly engaged C-Murda is sporting an impressive 180 average, but Burt will bowl well, and then Seatown is the difference maker. Here are some issues C-Murda apparently avoided when he popped the question.
WEST SIDE! Rufio and the Sauced Boys (2-5) -15 vs Aperol Splitz (0-7): The Splitz have 4 points so far this year. Doesn’t seem to be affecting their good time. Rufio’s crew just needs to take advantage of the bonus round in their schedule and get all 15 points to stay alive for the post season. Here’s Railroad’s Sober October vision quest.