Late Lines From Space

Happy Thursday everyone! Best day of the week for me. I get to cut out of work a little early and go see
a hundred friends at night! And I get to bowl! And Party!
Take note of the music tonight. Hungus asked the captains to all contribute a couple songs to the
playlist, so I bet the music will be quite eclectic tonight. And when you hear Groove is in the Heart, you
can thank me for requesting my favorite dance tune.
Reminder to everyone that Halloween is a couple weeks away….might be a good time to start floating
ideas to your teammates for costume ideas. What will your team’s theme be this year? We know
Walter’s team will do nothing, but what about your team? I am especially interested to see the
costumes for Denim Vajean. They all re-branded themselves as various, uhh, vajean names, so that one
might be interesting. Even if Capt. Jack-Off Spare-O only loves red wine and scarves.

I get the late matches this week, and feel the need to really deliver after there were no late lines last
week. We will start with my favorite team in the league:

Yes Is More! (-3) v. Cakeballs II – Yes Is More! is bowling very well of late, and last week posted 14
points in a win over drunk Couch and crew. They rode the good vibes of The Hard Man’s birthday, and a
lot of folks are bowling well on that team.
Cakeballs II has Tommy Gunzz wrecking pins on the regular with a crazy high average. On the season the
guy only has one game under a 200. Which is exactly the opposite of Garlic Jones, who has exactly one
game over 200 this season.
Tommy will get top point (and maybe swing total) every game he rolls. But Yes Is More! will get all the
middle points, and ultimately take the match. I like Dick Whitman over DC for the win. And I am
psyched to hang with my friend Tilt-A-Whirl!

Magic’s Gathering (-5) v. Dr. Thunder’s Revenge – The only revenge on Dr. Thunder’s mind this season
is coming from his ass every Friday during lunch when it reminds him of the beers he drank on Thursday.

I don’t think this one will be that close.
Magic has 3 bowlers with 195+ averages, led by top dog Buck Ripcord, plus Brooklyn and G-Unit who is
having a fantastic season. Mitch Cumstein can roll great, have no splits all match, but he will struggle to
stay with the big guns of Magic’s crew. Invisible Hand, plus whoever the other guy is on Thunder’s team,
have to roll huge to get points from those three. Thunder may be able to take some of the points in this
one, especially seeing Magic’s struggles this year, but I think Wolf (love the name!) and Sally Bowls will
hold their own and this means a win for Magic.

Any Given Thursday (-3) v. The Dream Team – Danny Diesel has a very solid squad, and I like their
chances tonight against Hakeem and team. However, last week they put their worst foot forward with
Drunk Couch and an absent Sparetime making sure they had little chance. Tonight should be different,
so expect a close one, with Any Given Thursday getting the points they need for the win.
Here’s Diesel and HBK trying to show off their skills on the hoops court against a shirtless Couch and
Hakeem:

**** LATE MATCH OF THE NIGHT ****

Go Flock Yourself (-1) v. Hexy’s Hooligans – Don’t look now, but Hexy has a contender in Draft League
this season. Makes sense, as she is able to watch everyone practicing and knows that relative
newcomers like Lobsterman and Tommy Torpedo are good bowlers, so she drafts them, we all laugh,
and then she crushes us. Her team is averaging in the 680’s, and that’s good enough to beat most teams
in this league on most nights. But not tonight.
Go Flock Yourself dug itself a hole this season with a lot of surprising losses fueled by some tough luck
and a shit ton of Trulys. They need the wins to make the playoffs.
I love the way this one matches up. Herb’n Legend will battle Putt Putt, I can see them splitting their
matchup. DDJ and Lobsterman could split. Flat-Line and Polly will battle. Tommy Torpedo looks like he
could cover some points (sorry, Mo-$!). Nuber and Princess Pinnacle are only separated by 3 pins in
average. And Hexy and Seachellz are super close in average as well. So why do I pick Go Flock Yourself?

Don’t let me down, Nuber! I believe in you, even if you scare the shit out of Sparkles! Either way,
should be a fun one to watch. If you are rolling early, stick around and check it out! Both teams will
post big numbers, but give me the Famingos. Barely.
P.S. – Sesame Street is some fucked up shit.

Titans (-1) v. Vintage Thrust – Folks may see this as an upset, but I don’t think I’d classify that way.
From a team average viewpoint, Titans have a slight edge. And they for sure have the top roller in the
match in Precious (I do hope he will be there, else this prediction is total trash). Mr. Florida and G-Force
will have to cover both Doc Moose and Iceberg all night long. That might happen, but I doubt it.
I see Train Conductor as a big factor in this one. If he rolls his average (or maybe a little higher!?) I think
that’s the difference as he can make sure his squad gets those third points and/or total. And I, for one,
am hopping aboard.

The Big Dills (-7) v. The Hole Package – It’s been fun seeing the chaos that is The Hole Package this
season. They are ripping it up big time, and their bowling scores are showing the results of all that
partying. Bowl Murray reminds me of my teenage son….you know where she’s been because she leave
things behind wherever she was. Last week it was her hat and her purse. This week it will likely be her
mind. Again.

Bowl Murray was barely alive when that tune came out. Shit, I am old! Should have requested that
tune for tonight!
The Big Dills quietly go about their business and rack up wins. Some of them are hard fought, but this
one will be easy.

Over on the new side, Dolla Bets (-3) v. Whiskey Shooters – I’ll bet you a dolla each on the following:
1 – Dolla Bets wins
2 – Fake Natro misses a single pin spare. And also does this:

3 – Whiskey Pete does this to top him, and show him how adults get shit done:

Let’s Do This!

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