Well we opened on a Thursday, which will keep the ‘what day is it’ confusion going all year. For example, tonight is week 1, Thursday is week 2. We now have BoPo weeks that are different than calendar weeks, but as Precious emailed me ‘calendar weeks are the only thing that matter!’ Ok. On to some week 1 A lines as we count the hours to season kickoff for 30 more teams.
DHD -5 vs Lions Den (a Thursday joint): see what I mean about day confusion? Anyway here we have a couple Thursday team battling it out. DHD has successfully gone back under the radar with all the high profile Thursday A transactions. Still they will be firmly in the mix even though their division got a whole lot tougher. Doc and Co are among the most regular of regulars at Bayside (with all due respect to Garlic). They’ll still be posting big scores and probably have already started their bowling ball outfits. Lions Den May have a new look…their Rick Vaughn replacement, Mr Florida, retired, so I’m not sure what direction they’ve taken. Mokiki and Das Ducken are probably alternating nights. Maybe Wadsworth returns? We’ll get a better read after week 1 but can’t see them stopping DHD with any configuration.
Shake & Bake -5 vs SOD: First off, happy birthday Lala. I’m predicting a win for your gift. Tango and Lala have a new squad, Glossy stuck around and they added Squatch. Not sure what other changes. On a side note Tango did some really under appreciated acting in those BoPo movies, he’s got real talent.
SOD may be in for a long year. Couch is still great and Deisel is a playoff machine but the rest of the team has disappeared over the years, Dentist leaving two years ago, McStriker this year. They have more bowlers but to quote one of our old movies, ‘who the fuck is that guy?’
SKOL -1 vs XXX Club: it’s only week one but Tom E Gunz gets to launch his campaign to finally unseat Ripcord as top dog in a head to head battle. Time to send a message! After Minnesota’s overtime win I assume only good things will be happening for Viking. He’s also been crushing it in practice. The Club is as always a title contender. They’ve still got the top dog, Bora is looking to move into the very top tier of women, and Roadhouse and E Minor have tons of big game experience. I’m giving slight edge to a hungrier SKOL.
7:30 WEST SIDE GAMES
Sharks -1 vs Oddballs: Speaking of title contenders, these are the last two regular season Tuesday A champs. Oddballs made a huge move adding Cerrano (fka LB Davenport) in an effort to have their regular season success translate to the playoffs. They also have a team that could crush cases of Twisted Tea if I ever bought any. Sharks are also looking to get over the hump and get a banner, and they made a huge team chemistry move bringing in pals Sparkles and Deputy. This should be a game of monster scores, hopefully lacking in drama but at worst getting that drama out of the way in week 1. I’m flipping a coin and going Sharks I guess. Over under on team Trulys, +/- 32
Bingas -1 vs TDYOB: Bingas may be walking into an ambush but I’ll do TDYOB the favor of leaving them as underdogs. Bingas is bringing back BoPo star Coco Lopez, who along with their other recent pickup Gutterboy are on the top of the list for career majors. Layne and Cookie are back, but this will be their first season as parents. Tso is all business post-dreads. Jerk has a solid crew behind him. That said, TDYOB has been living at Bayside. Spare-O has taken alcohol’s best shot and is still standing. Farmer and Mo $ are getting consistent scores, and Thunder has changed his name to Dr. Don Carter based on recent success. Not sure how practice scores will translate but if they do TDYOB could pull this off.
Body English -5 vs Off Constantly (The Purell Bowl): If only this was the 2011 Finals. Alas, OC has that second banner that BEER May forever be chasing. OC has been hit hard by illness. Natro and Coco, she of high ladies score this week at 233, are the new faces of the franchise this week. Oz (patient zero) should be in, and Jr Hoss is always capable of big games. Nuber May be coaching from a bubble. BEER brings back the same squad as last year, but hopefully with fewer injuries. Brandy is throwing again, Railroad is now some sort of marathon runner, the world is strange. Hungus hoping to get his team a win and just get off the lanes with no viruses or other medical emergencies. At least Rick Vaughn and Filthy work at a hospital.
Bowl Thugs and Harmony -1 vs Saucy Posse: Ladies and gentlemen the SauPo mini dynasty is over. They capitalized on their window of opportunity grabbing two banners, but like the Pats post-Brady, they’re going to fall back to the pack. Mater and OMG Becky are the new Splinter and Chili Sauce. Walter will still be there and Nut Sauce is the top bitch favorite every year, but this year looks tough. BTH is an expansion squad captained by Jaylebait. He’s got Hot Gravy, Casual Hyundai and Cleveland as part of his crew. They get a huge opportunity as an expansion team to get a signature win…I’ll give it to them in tonight’s upset of the week.