Welcome back! Hope you’ve enjoyed the last four or five weeks of league. I’m back here on election day, only two weeks to go, to give everyone a quick update.
Playoffs! First of all, everyone is going to see some sort of postseason action. The top 8 in each conference (2 division winners, 2nd and 3rd from each division, then 7th an 8th best from each conference) make the big show. All teams will play at 5:30 on November 18th. Don’t fret if you’re outside that elite 16, we have playoff games for everyone. Call it the NIT (not in tournament) or the CBI (cool bowler invitational). On 11/18, at 5:30, each conference’s 15th seed plays its 14th seed in a best of 3 baker. The winners play the 13th seeds at 6:15 in a best of 3 baker. Those winners play the 12th seeds in a best of 3 baker. On 11/25, at the same time at as the semis of the big show, those stepladder winner splay the 11th seeds at 5:30, then the 10th seeds at 6:15, then the 9th seeds at 7:00. During the Draft finals, we’ll also have the CBI finals, a best of 3 baker between the conference stepladder winners. So, if you are the 9th, 10th or 11th seed in either conference your playoffs don’t start until 11/25.
Make sense? Probably not. Lets move on anyway.
While we have no one over 200 avg (wow!) it does look like we have a four way race for Top Dog. Tommy Gunz at 199.9, Herb’n Legend at 199.4, Buck at 198 and Glossy at 197.1 all are in the hunt. My $$ on Terr Bear. Here’s Herb’n Legend celebrating democracy.
OK, well, it’s quarter of 2 already so lets be quick about these
Early Games
Ball-Barians (5-4) -5 vs Lucky Strikes (2-7): Beer Hunter’s team has already punched their ticket to the CBI. Ball Barians have the highest average in the whole Moon conference but need to win at least one more time to make the playoffs. I think they just get it done tonight. Here’s Beer Hunter giving zero fucks after the loss, sitting at the Bayside bar.
Karl & The Gang (7-2) -7 vs Disco Turkeys (1-8): The Turkeys have been circling the losers bracket game since draft night. Poor LL Cool J, really thought things might be different. The Gang keep winning games they have no business winning, last week in a bowloff just as the fungus was wearing off. Luckily here comes Farmer tonight for the refresh! Here’s a view of 5:30, leading all the way up to close tonight
BBC (5-4) -1 vs Cakeballs 8 (5-4): After BBC started straight up, things have started to flatten out. They’ve lost 4 of 5 and now star down a nearly must win game. Cakeballs has flown under the radar but are a win a way from punching a playoff ticket.
BBC and Cakeballs, in a nutshell.
Vintage Vibes (6-3) -1 vs Moose Knuckle (5-4): Man, when I was last writing, Fly Like A Kegel was winning the division, and I thought they were just keeping it warm for Jucifer. Instead, we have these two battling for the division lead tonight. We know how this goes, given actual footage of Mr. Vintage hunting down Moose.
6:30 games
Just doing lines here…
Putt’s Deli (5-4) -5 vs Magic’s Gathering (3-6)
Roll Clarity (3-6) -1 vs High 5s Good Vibes (5-4)
Grateful Deadwoods (7-2) -1 vs Must Bowl Faster (7-2): Ok, quick note on this one. MBF has lost two of three after being the last unbeaten, and the Deadwood’s have been on fire, or at least smoking something. Diesel s even organizing his own Thursday tournaments to dominate in more forums. Meanwhile, Phil got a little too deep into some gummies three weeks ago and hasn’t recovered. I think the GD’s win this one to all but clinch the division title. Here’s Walter and Diesel driving to the lanes and Dick Du Jour catching up with them.
The team is really coming together.
Under Construction (4-5) -3 vs Cannonball Express (2-7)
Fisher Price (5-4) -5 vs Turn & Burn (1-8)
Prestige Worldwide (5-4) -5 vs 10s (3-6)
8:30 Games
Iron Lotus (9-1) -1 vs Mama’s Maiden Voyage (8-2): Game of the Year! These two teams battle for the top overall seed tonight, and finally allow me to meld my two video themes I’ve used for each squad.
Dirty Bowling (7-2) -3 vs Time Out (4-5)
Blankets Strike Back (5-4) -1 vs Bass2Mouth (3-6): Looks like Bass’ 2 year reign of terror is officially over. Look out for them in the CBI. Linus looks to lock up a playoff spot tonight but the old champ won’t make it easy.Here’s Linus dishing out some advice to Crackerjack then showing off his trophy win from tonight.
Fly Like A Kegel (5-4) -1 vs Jucifer (4-5): I still don’t get it. Jucifer has the #1 and #3 bowler in the league, and are a loss away from elimination. I imagine the rest of the league is rooting for Kegel just to keep Jucifer dead and out of the playoffs. Meanwhile, Kegel has boxed themselves into their own corner, and a loss tonight leaves them in a little trouble going int the final week. Here are these two wounded warriors fighting for their lives