Week 7 Lines




Off Constantly (-13) over Maine Yacht: OC recruited MYC to join the league this year, reminding me of the phrase “I brought you into this [league], I can take you out!”

Incredibowls (-1) over Great Lost Spares: These two teams started strong but are struggling.  One team can turn things around tonight.  Dangerous subplot: the Incredibowls threatened to kill me if they ever ended up on lane 3 again: uh-oh!

Lesbowlians (-1) over Young and the Bowled:
Maybe a slight upset, but these two teams have been eyeing each other since the season began.  Throw out the records in a rivalry game like this.  I will try to get some Madonna to really get them fired up.

Derelicte My Balls (-3) over Purple Haze: Sibling rivalry II.  Can one of these guys rise to their lofty preseason expectations?  Is Barry Violet for real?  Will Arnie stay past nine?

Roll Another (-3) over Gutterballs:
Roll Another can take a huge step toward locking up the division with a win here.  Must win game for the Nihilist but he doesn’t care.

Dirty Half Dozen (-7) over Happy Hands:
DHD lost last week, but played well enough to raise their postseason expectation.  HHP also starting to rebound, but this would take a big upset.

Alley-Gash Rollers (-1) over Sweet Rolls:
These teams are really going to like each other.  Plus, they seem evenly matched.  Sugar Daddy is coming on strong but the AG Rollers run deep.

Pud’s Taxi (-4) over Die Gassenjungen:
The pregame chatter has gone from creepy to disgusting and back again.  Can Uli not vomit, and pull off wearing a dress?  Can anyone not vomit reading Cuppy’s smack?

Urban Achievers (-2) over Saucy Posse: Pinky vs. N-Sauce is the #3 vs the #2 woman.  I think the old lions of SauPo are rediscovering their roar, and give the upstarts a run for their money.

I.C.B.I.N.G. (-3) over Three Fingered Willies:
The Willies are seeking their first win.  Unfortunately they are running into an angry Non Believers bunch.  Interestingly, finishing last (26th) could be better than finishing 25th.

B.E.E.R. (-5) over Strikes of Hazzard:
Hazzard has been getting closer and closer to a win, and have the emotional high of hosting postgame.  However, as they keep noting on the national news, B.E.E.R. is recession-proof.

Pinups (-3) over Three Livers:
This is the last chance for Three Livers to reassert itself in the division.  Pinups seek to continue their resurrection, playing into Big Ern’s Messiah complex.
Binga’s Ringas (-13) over Hyper-Bowl-E: Could be a tough night for HBE, having to roll next to the O.L.L.  Binga’s getting swept in game three last week may be the BowlPortland equivalent of Rocky cutting Drago’s eye.  They’re human!
Last Week: 8-5

Overall: 47-21

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