Today is the most important bowling night of our lifetimes. We are faced with fundamental differences in which direction we want to take our league…13 directions, to be exact.
Bayside Bowl will once again be full of television crews, broadcasting moments of local newscasters analyzing the mood of the party punctuated by cries of “Boom!” and “Beerframe!”
Dress pretty folks.
Roll Models (4-3) -3 vs Supah Deep (3-4): Roll Models has an impressive 677 average, but a loss here and they would find themselves looking up at the team with the 2nd worst average in the league. Luckily for them that result is unlikely. Supah Deep is coming off its best game, and Rick Vaughn may have found his role as a Tom Richards style 3rd game charm. But Bustah, 2xCheese and Snapshot is a pretty deep top 3.
Shake ‘N Bake (2-5) -1 vs Bowling on Bath Salts (6-2): It doesn’t make sense, but I think it could happen. Natro and The Dentist will one day both roll great in the same game, and I think it’s tonight. Oh, and Space Farmer is going for a 206. I do think General Tso finds a way to get on tv tonight however.
Split For Brains (4-4) -3 vs Slackers (2-6): The Slackers shocked even themselves by winning 14-1 last week. Now they get to put Bombpop, who led the league for a couple weeks, up against current league leader Precious. It’s almost a must win for them, but Split doesn’t have a lot of room to lose either. Precious and Pauly have been a dominant 1-2 punch when they roll together, and I think they’re both here tonight.
Dick’s Pick’s Vol. II (7-1) -5 vs Hebros (3-4): Tough start to the doubleheader night for the Hebros against the league’s top team. Not a lot of holes in the Dick’s lineup, but Dick may press to try to get up to the #2 spot on his team, and he did change up his own lineup rules last week, so maybe there’s a weakness. The Hebros are just crazy enough to think they can win this game, and they are as streaky as any team in the league.
Deez Knees (4-4) -3 vs Hebros (3-4): Deez Knees was stunned last week, but look to rally and continue their lose one – win one streak. The Hebros may be tired after their first game.
Ooh, That’s A Bingo (5-3) -1 vs Lane’s Addiction (3-4): This is a heated rivalry between Captains, but I don’t think it will come down to the Captains. Nuber has been bowling well, but he also has Oz and Deputy ripping up the lanes. McQueen has not had as consistent support. Pistol Pete needs to play huge and Hootie/Beaujolais need to grab a lot of points to pull this one out.
Flying Buttresses (4-4) -3 vs Wilfork Y.F.O. (2-5): Desperation time for Wilfork. The Buttresses look vulnerable and are on a losing streak, but it will be hard for them to match up against T-Mo and the Gut.
16 thoughts on “It’s Tuesday Night, Whatcha Wanna Do? Roll! (and vote)”
Voting kicks ass right! Cause, uh, if voting kicks ass, you got some kick ass shit!
It’s a wonder how you haven’t been banned from posting yet. Saying voting kicks ass because voting kicks ass is like saying 1 + 2 = 3 because 2 + 1 = 3.
Anyone else think Tango had a brain aneurysm coming up with this post?
That’s some MIT shit for you Tango.
I had to use a calculator but I eventually came up with the answer.
Your propensity to make yourself sound like a slow-witted, dumbfuck is astounding!
Watch Black Sheep some day, guarantee a good chuckle. Also, it will give you something else to do other than stroke Dr Thunder’s grundle on Bowlportland.com. Get a life Tango!
Leave my grundle out of this, also get a room guys.
I bet you don’t even have a grundle, just one big asshole.
You’re right, surprisingly. I post original thoughts, not obscure quotes from 15 year old movies. Go over to the smack board, you’ll have a blast with Big Dick, you guys are the Kanye West’s of bowlportland.com.
It’s Slim Shady you Maxi Pad. You young whipper snappers and your Kanye and Lil Wayne.
His point is still valid though. You are way more Kanye than you are Eminem, no offense.
I know who sings the song you ripped off. I’m calling you Kanye because you rip off lyrics/quotes from songs/movies, just like Kanye uses blues samples in all his songs.
You two pon strings are just jealous because I can actually post something funny on this board.
George Bush does not like Bowl Portlanders.
Doucheberry, if you honestly feel this forum is your claim to originality, you’ve got bigger issues than beer drinking, flannel wearing, & cum guzzling.
Total, in two games? I got this!
300’s get on TV tonight. FYI.