Good ole Oakie has been given a promotion to the big leagues and been pegged to cover the lines for the Tuesday A Division you know the NFL, the no fun league. I got pegged for this last minute so not my best work, plus I am writing them sober which doesn’t help. This is what a Tuesday night party looks like:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YNFGmhHWg0
Tuesday getting killed by Thursday in the party rankings right now:
http://www.bowlportland.com/rankings/
Off constantly is on a bye this week just when they were starting to get hot!
Early:
Beer (2-2) -3 vs Spare of the Dog (1-3): Thursday outcasts Spare of the Dogs have had the rude Tuesday night awakening they expected. How the hell do they have a win? They must have played Ball That! Their 577 average isn’t going to do them any favors in this one tonight either. BEER is like the freaking Partridge Family they load up the bus and see who shows up, some nights people get to sing lead, some nights they get to sing back up and designated drink. BEER should win this one comfortably. Look for Gunz and Hungus to put up some big scores and for all of Spare of the Dog to blackout around 8 p.m. If this isn’t Hungus and crew I don’t know what is:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3fPtMuBtMs
Yahtzee (5-0) -11 vs Sharks and Strikes (3-2): Despite all the bluster, branding, and awesome Twitter presence Sharks and Strikes are not yet quite up to the task when it comes to wrestling giants as they showed in their blowout loss at the hands of Saucy Posse. White Russian is on the shelf; Dick Du Jour is still hungover from the Super Bowl. I expect Yahtzee to come out and treat their sister team like a pinata. Although there is late breaking news; Sparkles had a water heater fall on him at work today and is laid up with the Worker’s Comp doc so maybe that makes this game a little closer. But again I don’t see Yahtzee losing to wannabe Yahtzee. This is what happens when varsity plays its JV team:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEmSyFR1FBI
DAMN! That is instant brain damage, which is similar to what the SS crew will have after this beat down.
The Game of the Week:
Turkey Club (4-0) -1 vs Saucy Posse (5-0): Man Oakie went back and forth on this one. Buck Ripcord is killing it, but so is Nut Sauce. Master Splinter has been partying hard but you would think he would dial it in for long time rival Buck Ripcord they might let on that it is friendly, but don’t let them fool ya there is zero love lost between these two. Nut Sauce has been an absolute assassin on the lanes this year. Roadhouse is a beast, but Beef is having a great year, then again so is Herk. E Minor and the XXX Club ladies always bring it in big games. This game includes 5 bowlers in the top 20 on Tuesday night. You know Hot Sauce is gonna lay down the smack. So many story lines, in the end I favor the depth of Turkey Club over Saucy Posse but this one is made with zero confidence. Any chance the Beer Frame Podcast guys going Facebook Live on this one? Also we need another completely drunken Facebook Live Bayside Bowl Expansion update from Master Splinter.
Late:
Oddballs -3 (2-2) vs Strikes and Hazzard (1-4): Oddballs have turned it around. Brooklyn was able to pluck Tinderella from the dead cold hands of Xander Rolle. Tinder brought his brother in so now they have 3 170 guys and proud we are of all of them. You would have to think General Lee and LB will announce their free agency any day now. They are consistently in the top 10 in average and their team is consistently in the bottom 3 of Tuesday A. Maybe relocation to Thursday would do these guys some good? Oddballs have the depth and the lady strength. LB and GL, whoever are there, will get theirs but it won’t be enough. Luke and Jesse would have to get out of their bowling comas to swing this one the other way.
SOD (3-2) -5 vs Cape Fear (1-4): Setting the over/under line of shit beer consumed in this match at 31. Sparkles will be taking all betting lines this evening from his wheelchair. This is a battle of the Hatfield’s and McCoy’s in this one. A territory war for Cape Elizabeth supremacy, family bragging rights, you name it, this match has got it. It is hard to tell who is sleeping with whom on these very incestuous teams. The telegraph is actually from Thompson not to him. SOD has the decided pin advantage and should win the match. The boys from Cape Fear will win the shit beer drinking consuming competition and as I look at that line I am actually moving it from 31 to 52. 31 sounds a little low for beers consumed while your brother and his buddies are kicking you and your buddies’ asses. If the match doesn’t go well here is a clip of Pip and Southpaw with their dojo at this week’s training session:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KY_G2f2R1Tg
Bingas (1-4) -15 vs Ball That (1-4): The biggest surprise on the season is Ball That and their 533 average has a win in Tuesday A, how the hell did that happen? Ball That needs to move to Tuesday B or Thursday A next year or just get used to lines like this and the ensuing beat downs on a weekly basis. Who knows maybe they are all 50 Shades of Gray fans and love pain. No one on Bingas has even heard of 50 Shades of Gray. Jerk does not love all the losing and he is a man on a mission tonight. Mango Mike was even seen attempting to practice on a Monday night but got lane 1 so bailed. You can bet on this game like it has already been played. Ball That is little Stevie in this clip:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgO2khv_SDY
Oakie doesn’t do the rankings. Take it up with Hungus. Agree though there was a major party going on it that match!
Great write up Oakie (Golf Clap). No Fun League, give me ah break. You seem to forget, the leauge was founded on blacking out on Tuesday, Beer Frames Friday, Sunday Practice Slinging. Rinse and repeat until Spring. I think it is noteworthy the SauPo vs Sharks matchup last week had the most Pitcher of Shots ordered in BOPO history which has to amount to something. We were witnessing RailRoad turn black out city before our eyes just like we all heard McStriker go from MC to Mayor of #SlurCity (RIP Rooftop Sessions).