Thursday Lines from Statler

All of those lines from last week that spoke to the academics out there made me feel a little silly, with my videos of bike crashes and hip hop tunes about weed dispensaries.  So this week all of my lines will done in Haiku.  I feel the need to prove I went to a great college; one that has produced people like the inventor of the Ferris Wheel, the very first douche who paid his own money to be the world’s first Space Tourist, and the soon to be former Defensive Coordinator of the New England Patriots.

I did Haikus for all the matches, including Friday Night Lights!  Come out on Friday to party down with the rest of the league for the 7 pm matches.  This week, I’ll leave the videos to my esteemed colleague Waldorf.

EARLY:

YB2 (-5) v. Touch

Glossy Mexican,

The guy who won’t be Top Dog;

He still gets the win

5 Finger Discount v. Guacabowle (-11)

This one is easy

Guacabowle in a romp

Dutch wants a new team

Happy Hands v. Pinups (-3)

I’ll take the Pinups

Wait, who is on the Pinups?

I have no idea

FC Portland (-10) v. Puds Taxi

The vuvuzela

Will be heard on all the lanes

Ram Rod will be drunk

Strike City v. ICBING (-3)

Tonight Fabio

Leads his team to a rare win

And I like the wig

Bad News Spares v. Lesbowlians (-10)

The Lesbowlians

Are reigning team of the year

With Unicorn shirts!

Lion’s Den (-1) v. B&B

I love Beaujolais

But Das Ducken will roll well

Rick Vaughn yells Ca-caw!

Leisure Rolls v. YB2 (-5)

YB2 is deep

They will need it for match 2

Trolls don’t have enough

LOS (-9) v Tattoos and Titties  (pronounce LOS in line 1 as one syllable LOS, not L.O.S.)

LOS in a late match

Never thought I’d see the day

Rubbys, please hug Cheese

Touch v TDYOB (-3)

Touch is rolling twice

That makes for some tired arms

Bork will get the win

Party Mix (-3) v. Bowlderdash

Give me Big Party

To take the win over Boys

And then boogie down!

Urea! (-3) v. Granola Rollahs

Urea! likes B

Getting wins is very fun

Plus free granola!

FRIDAY:

Oddballs (-1) v. Saucy Posse

I’m a believer

Do not sleep on the Oddballs

Time for Aerobics!

DHD (-1) v. Cape Fear

I’m making this pick

Based on forty Miller Lites

Consumed by Cape Fear

BUI (-3) v. GOB

The Guns of Brighton

All work at Bayside; that means

No time for practice

Roll Another (-3) v. Pinny Candy

Took a miracle

To take out Roll Another

Not again this week

Back to full craziness next week.  But I did enjoy the break.  Roll well, Bopo.  See you out there.

Post your own BoPo Haikus below.