Thursday, Waldorf

Waldorf is back with some late lines and thank God for that.  When Waldorf writes early lines all he can think is “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?”  Shifter said something similar after Itz sat him for every game in the playoffs before he had enough and walked about before they got killed in the semis.

Lion’s Den (2-2) -3 versus Bowled and the Beautiful:  Lion’s Den would like you to think they are better than they are.  Their 608 team average on an easy pattern would say otherwise.  Ricky Passion is rolling hot for them and he will be the difference in this match.  Caveman is a bit like Henry Chinaski in Bukowski’s Post Office, Chinaski drifts from place to place, surviving through booze and women, with his biting sense of humor and a cynical view of the world.  Classic Captain Caveman.  Ruby C is leading B&B in avg, their men have been something out of a movie as they look like The Lost Boys on this pattern.  By the end of the season B&B will most likely wish they got devoured by Vampires.  Here is Saw and Durro recruiting Strike Tyson to the squad:

Young and the Bowled (3-0) -5 versus Leisure Rolls (2-2):  When Magic walks into the lanes it’s like Fog Over Frisco you know he is thinking:

What am I supposed to do now?

I had a chance in a million, it slipped away

There’s a change in the weather coming

When what once was black and white will slowly turn to gray

Poor guy, sounds like he needs to get his shit together.  D$ and Glossy meet up once again this time as foes rather than friends.  Exodus 23:22 says, “If you listen carefully to what he says and do all that I say, I will be an enemy to your enemies and will oppose those who oppose you.”  Waldorf says get a room guys.  D$ can hang with the big guns on YB2, but they have 5 big guns, sorry Itz you ain’t one of them.  In the end D$ will be looking for a showdown and Glossy will be all like:

Party Mix (4-0) -5 versus Bowlderdash (2-1):  Benny the Hill (Big Party) and gang have been the bully of Thursday B.  Left Beef ripped off a couple 200s last week.  Bowl Princess Unicorn Murray has been holding down the fort as their only lady:

And one of those rules is you need 2 ladies to roll 11 games to be playoff eligible.  So, get on it fools or enjoy the playoffs from Hands to Yourself Platonic Love Row, formerly known as perv row.  Draft League Champ Boys McKracken leads Bdash into this match.  Boys got a shoutout on Rooftop Sessions for putting in more work than anyone.  With a 160 average he may want new equipment, a lesson, or something because this guy is seeing a lower return on his practice than anyone this side of Taygod.  Sweet Tamm, who also got some Hungus love this week, checks in at 150.  Hakeem and Big Party will go 130 to 200 as usual in this one and that will be the difference.  Deuteronomy 20:1 states: “When you go to war against your enemies and see horses and chariots and an army greater than yours, do not be afraid of them, because the LORD your God, who brought you up out of Egypt, will be with you.”  A lot of good that will do ya when Big Party has you in a backwards bear hug.

Yep Waldorf did that:

LOS -15 (3-0) versus Tattoos and Titties (0-3):  Wow this is going to get ugly.  Los has 133 in average on the bowling deficient party positive T&T squad.  Train Conductor is doomed to a life of 140 averages.  Thank God, this guy parties and has a good time or we might have to have him institutionalized.  In Ken Kesey’s One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest after McMurphy assaults a staff nurse he receives a lobotomy, and is in a vegetative state, rendering him silent and motionless. The Chief smothers McMurphy with a pillow during the night in an act of mercy before lifting the tub room control panel that McMurphy could not lift earlier, throwing it through a window and escaping the hospital.  This will be Train Conductor and Rubbys by the end of the season:

LOS is a bunch of killers they don’t rebuild they reload.  With T&T they will be able to have more than one beer, so they choose.  Cheese is dialed in and killing this pattern and LOS looks to be a contender yet again.  Here is Cheese and Precious after the match:

The Drinking Year of Bork -1 (1-3) vs Touch My Excite (3-0):  Upset Alert!  Evenly matched teams in regard to team average, but Bork gets its ace Munson back from Africa this week.  Genesis 2:2 tells us “By the seventh day God completed His work which He had done, and He rested on the seventh day from all His work which He had done.”  Then some redneck tool tells us on the 8th day God created a Farmer and he sucked at bowling and his voice sounded like “smooth jizz”.  Squatch is gonna want to take down Thunder as he and his henchmen Sparkles and Dick Du Jour went on an epic run of bench memes.  LaGa versus Mo$ will be an epic lady battle on the lanes, very evenly matched we could have our first Baker Style Bowloff.  Here is Squatch and Thunder after the match:

UREA! -15 (3-0) versus Granola (0-3):  Wow talk about a mismatch.  The SS Colucci Kid is lost at sea.  Revelation 20:13 reads, “And the sea gave up the dead who were in it, Death and Hades gave up the dead who were in them, and they were judged, each one of them, according to what they had done.”  Well R.I.P. CK.  Granola has a 489 average, the real bad boys of Thursday B UREA! has a 603, goodnight Granola!  C Murda had been shopping himself around, but by staying put the guy has eyes on a B banner.  J Bird did a great job of reloading after T$ and Automatic walked the plank.  William Congreve wrote in his play The Mourning Bride “”Heav’n has no Rage, like Love to Hatred turn’d, Nor Hell a Fury, like a Woman scorn’d” with that said would love to see a UREA! versus SKOL playoff matchup!  If you will it, it is no dream.

Fake Thursday yielded huge scores on Tuesday night.  Huge shoutout to That’s My Son!’s Burt The Bandit on an unreal 277, 276, 180, 733 series night.  Huge scores on Fake Thursday let’s get at it Real Thursday.  Now Atomik give me something to dance to:

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