Once proud Tuesday A franchises BEER, OC, and Bingas have fallen on hard times. They can’t compete with the arms race of Tuesday A where guys like Master Splinturd roll 802 on an off night. Come to Thursday A where the wine flows like the salmon of Capistrano. Bingas averaged 606 and got murdered by a dick-less Sharks team. Hate to break it to ya Bingas 606 won’t compete on Thursday either. These poor bastards on a 2-43 slide since Tso went Rove, that’s the karma police coming for ya:
Now that we done trashing washed up teams let’s get back to where the party’s at! THURSDAY!!!!!!!
Waldorf has had a long break time to lay some late games to waste. Anyone have the case of the Monday’s?????
GOB (3-3) -1 versus Lion’s Den (3-5): I went back and forth trying to handicap these sinking ships. The captain always goes down with the ship and Ricky Passion and Invisible Hand Job are doing that with aplomb. In Moby Dick Captain Ahab is caught in the harpoon line and dragged to the depths of the ocean to his death. Well that is Ricky Passion this year. That goofy motherfucker is having a breakout season with a 180 plus average but is getting very little help. Mokkiki found out his boys can swim and it has led him to the best average of his life at 165. Captain Caveman rarely remembers being at the lanes. If both teams could lose this match they would. The only thing I can guarantee is something will piss Jon Moon off and he will bowl like absolute shit. But I think Town, Hand, Nurple, and the Drunken Noodle Green save his ass. Here is Moon end of match after he has had enough of the Den banging the gong, get it on!
Hit em with a bongo
Hit em with a bongo
Hit em with a bongo
1, 2, 3, 4!
And then we have Hand getting in Caveman’s face after the match:
Holy shit that guy packs a punch…….someone might want to check to see if Hand is still alive.
BUI (6-1) -15 versus Spare of the Dog (1-5):
This will not be close. Here are Bombpop and Probie defending themselves after getting accused of egging Happy Feet Pete after the match:
Little known fact Waldorf and crew where big egg guys in high school. Yep we would go around egging the fuck out of people from our cars on a Friday and Saturday night, it was kind of our thing. One time my boy TK told me to pull over. Dude jetted from the car into some folks’ garage through an open door into there house. Comes flying out we jet as he arrived in the house a family of 4 was having dinner and he egged the fuck out of all of them at their dinner table in their house. Honestly can you imagine that shit? That shit happens to Waldorf someone gets killed. Dad must have been in shock because this Dad goes to top speed and takes that high school punk out. Back to your regularly scheduled blowout of the Spare of the Dogs. This poor former team of the year has been sitting around pretending to have fun while they get the shit smashed out of them all year. They thought return to Thursday A was just what the doctor ordered. They keep rolling like this a return to Thursday B or Casco Bay League will be just what the doctor ordered. Duke Thunderwood is pushing a 200 average while putting his hands on everyone in the league, $40 for BoPo for an hour, $50 for a happy ending. Shoutout to Zumba! Here is what goes through Duke’s head when he is giving that big ol drink o water Master Splinturd a rub down:
BUI is one of the most underrated teams in the league. Every year in the quarters, sporting a 670 average nobody wants this team in the playoffs. Here is G Unit telling everyone about:
Game of the Night:
YB2 (8-0) -5 versus DHD (6-1): Sorry DHD you ain’t about that life. Here is Glossy on way to the match:
DHD thinks they are game, but YB2 has too much for them. Cinderella struck midnight and returned KingPin of Brooklyn to where he belongs in the 160s. Inferno has been hot, but end of day YB2 is freaking loaded. Game against LOS their low was a 187, their low, that’s Dr. Blunder’s high on the season! Doc Moose and Skinny Skeletor will throw up some big ones they always do. Pickle will go huge in practice on the new side then roll 150s, end of night YB2 will get an easier than expected victory with Crackerjackoff, Glossy, Pete and Milli throwing down heat. DHD is also coming off tough match with Guac and after G Force literally fell off a cliff he can’t bowl 6 games in a night. Here is Doc, Hark, and G Force giving Glossy and family a ride to the match after he fell off his skateboard.
All Day is ill and may miss the match, but it won’t matter. Tuesday A feeling great about themselves, but the favorite in the league may just play on Thursday. Here is YB2’s theme song:
Unfortunately after the match ITZ a and CJackoff got a little mouthy with G Force and threw a beer on Hark which caused G to walk back into the bar:
Here is ITZ in the coat with Pete recruiting Glossy while he made a cake:
“Don’t worry bro your cats going to heaven.”
Puds (1-5) -1 versus Bad News Spares (0-6): This may be BNS best chance for a win and the first and maybe last time Puds will be favored. Here is Glossy getting thrown around while Puds and BNS lock horns:
“Herpes!” “You’re going to break the door! Are you going to pay for it?!?!!?” Wow Waldorf loves when his head hits off the sink. Have rewound that scene with Sneaky Pete many a night, slowmo’d that shit, done it all. Back to Puds, the Spares gonna throw a bunch of ladies at them, Bullit gonna try and roll it under 10 mph and Dink gonna try to be awake by game 3. Someone will win someone will lose, Strikes and Gutter ups and downs:
Her is Ballai Llama the first time she opened a bowling ball bag:
“What the fuck is this?” average at 103.5 over the T Square line though, holla:
Hey SOD Rick James got some words for Cooch:
Here is Glossy having a falling out with Itz and Pistol Pete.
Happy Hands (3-3) -1 versus Party Mix (6-2): Benny Hill and crew were looking good at 6-0, then Hakeem went on a podcast after a loss. Then Princess Unicorn went on the podcast after a loss and now they looking at losing out. Hakeem is down another $100 to Thunder. This is how Party Mix flies:
Oh noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!! Happy Hands and their porn names come into this match being overlooked with their 495 average, but when you sleep on them you can get smacked. Mookie Oak gonna rock another 200 in this one. Waldorf’s HHP name would be Heinz San Miguel:
Here is Big Party crawling away after the match:
“What am I going to do about my legs Eddie Murphy?!?!?!!?”
UREA! (6-0) -5 versus Lesbwolians (3-3): UREA! is in the drivers’ seat for the one seed for Thursday in the B playoffs. J Bird did a fantastic job reloading after Automatic and T$ essentially said fuck off and went to power squad SKOL. She was able to retain C-Murda after no one in A wanted him:
Ever since then that goofy assed Dolphin’s fan been rolling with a chip on his mother fucking shoulder.
Casual T has been a huge addition giving them two all stars as they make a run at a B title. Good luck getting passed Burt the Bandit and NED. The former team of the year has had a up and down season. Potentially due to some offseason changes due to breakups according to the Babes of Bayside Podcast, now that is some dirt. Those Rooftop Session boys need to do their homework. Here is C Murda (glasses) and his backup singer Casual T after the match making a business proposal to ITZ:
Let’s go Thursday night! 5 weeks left before the playoffs let’s get after it. Keep your hands to yourself, unless someone asks you not to, tip well, and clean up after yourself. And above all GET LOOSE!!!!!