Well what do you know Bayside Bowl had no lanes available Wednesday and Thursday for practice making the likelihood that the Doctor will rock a 250 (150) Friday night a fucking fantasy. Thanks for making money so we can keep our team fees low and have that free (well used to be free) captains party. I get it times are tough we have to build that Wall (barrier) due to that crisis at the Southern Border.
BUI and Roll Another have a bye, Jesus that is an awful tragedy. Poor Hexy had rough night week one. Was still feeling it at the front desk on Tuesday gotta sit on it another week, by the way call the front desk and get your April PBA tickets let’s do it again. Also props to Hexy, Koops. Seamus, Shirtless and all the other folks that hold down the front desk, your hard work and lane placement skills are much appreciated. I’m hearing this hot toddy thing can help you not lose your voice. Shit what do I care I’m the doctor I will try almost anything once.
Leisure Rolls (1-0) -14 versus Tats and Tits (0-1): T&T it’s dynomite! These cats got 7 points last Thursday in a shocker. They will be getting 6 to 7 less this week against a loaded Leisure Troll Squad. Breads and Sally can hang with Red Empire and crew on lady side of the lane. Where it gets ugly (no offense got much love with Gregoppo119, Rubbys, TC and rest of the crew) is dudes on dudes.
Insanal got off to a slow start so expect a big night. D$ is an ace in sheep’s clothing, how r ya?!?!?! Magic is Magic, who the hell knows where it is going but it always seems to work out. New comer Dutch if you need a beer and don’t want to pay for it or wait for it this guy will hand you one from his bowling bag right on the lanes and go get a bottle opener from Hootie came out with a 190 average. Funny story this fall his employer was having a Dinner release. The Dr. was down the road at the Freeport YMCA working off the night before and he is like head in take the tour buy a $120 case of Dinner. Jesus Hungus should hire this guy. Anyway, as I am driving in that whole shit show where he was giving them away down on the lanes had just happened. So, as I pull in I call him up and am like, “Hey dude I spoke to Hungus and you are going to be suspended for a little while; it’s probably going to be good for you…” Dutch interrupts, “Oh, please God, no!” I’m like, “Dude I’m fucking with you! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!” Dutch, “Oh, you fucker!” #lovethelanes Don’t sleep on the Fake Trolls they got eyes on the Thursday night #1 seed now that Eskimo Bros and LOS are not what we thought they were.
UREA! (1-0) -1 versus ICBING (1-0): The return of Peanut Gutter. PG has returned as a male sub for ICBING season after a year off. Poor bastard made a rookie move got to bar at 4:00 for an 8:15 match. We all know how that goes……yeah, we have yet to see the return of Peanut Gutter. PG heads home early in a body bag, but that’s okay they brought in Sauve Lefty who wants a BoPo Bayside brick so bad he can freaking feel it! ICBING bringing in Bwick ringer dude has like 52 300s (no offense Buck) and wants 53, although he says, “It doesn’t count because it isn’t sanctioned.” You know who says that? Total assholes. So this total asshole is heading to the match trying to make it early because PG been 86’d fucking guy guys full Matrix slipping on ice in his driveway and crashes on his left elbow. Best thing about this is all of it is true I had a front row seat to ICBING making another run at Team of the Year! So now Sauve thinks he has broken his throwing elbow dude is lefty, think Crackerjack, slightly cooler, but more of a dork. I know that’s tough, but true, CJ loves it and also hopefully no longer reads Thursday lines now having gone to Tuesday and rolled a teammate only once on the second week of the season to beat a hapless Bingas squad. Who I love, but Farmer called it, he said this is Bingas this year:
Back to the match Two Dogs Fucking and the dog does, he has baby #3 on the way. Honestly want to get pregnant, and trust me I know it ain’t easy, talk to Two Dogs this dude knows how to get it done, he’s off to a hot start. Fabio, Emu in other circles whom Hungus thought he was last night when he hit 10th frame dead read strike for the win over used to be Saucy Posse. Goes SauPo can’t win when they aren’t cheating. Ladies and gentlemen your New England Patriots. Here we go Chargers. Anyway, ICBING has 5 too many bowlers and they lose a close one to a team Fabio told me they “Hate!”
Here are Peanut Gutter, Two Dogs and Fabio after the match:
Pinny Candy 1-0 (-1) versus Bowled and the Beautiful (1-0): B&B left Thursday A to make hay in Thursday B now they face Pinny Candy who has 30 pins on them and has 12.5 points to their 11.5 points. Damn BoPo you got stacked over the years. Me, Munson and Sheriff were rookie gods with averages in the 130 range in 2010. Expect PayDay to be the difference in this match. He came out hot with a 172 average over 3 games getting that first 200 out of the way right quick. Mr. Mayor gonna take his time. Saw is going to be surprised by every split that hit Brooklyn straight at 25 mph and El will be lucky to know where he is. They catch their first B regular season loss, although they have lost multiple shoot-in games to Tuesday B teams. Here is saw and El after the game:
FC Portland (1-0) -12 versus 5 Finger Discount: FC Portland and the RETURN of Oolie! He says he didn’t go anywhere I disagree. Ran into this fool closing joint down and lockers he is like, “Hey Thunder nice to see you. I am a big fan!” I go, “Thanks man.” Wasn’t sure if I was speaking to Oolie, Wut What, or Lou Dawg, knew it wasn’t Ramrod because my man still hits the lanes and does draft. So, I go, “Oolie right?!?!?” He responds, “Fuck you! I had my highest league score ever tonight 239, we are coming for Thursday B!!!!!! Tell all your fucking friends Thunder. I responded, “What’s your name again? My BoPo high is 255.” Damn FC Portland not messing around. Hanging their freak flag, the vuvuzela is back. These cats are in the house, another early team of year front runner and not someone to be taken lightly on the Thursday B side. On the other side Rufio told me that they are in full rebuild mode, and once she figures out who is in and who is out they will rise from the ashes like ashes like a phoenix not even the souther border crisis barrier (wall) will be able to stop them. Also, Rufio running new joint in Yarmouth, Main Street, hit it up. #freeplug5 Finger will find their stride Slugga will start putting in the time they will line up this pattern and crush. Here is Slugga and his significant other after the match:
If I missed some lines sorry get over it I am a Friday guy!