Thursday Early Lines


Fuck yeah!  DJ Baby J ready to crush it again tonight, it’s almost February so we made it through the darkest, coldest month, and we all get to party tonight!

Here are Thunder (in red), Munson (in grey) and Spare-O (in green) racing to the lanes:

Winning!  Lets get going with the early matches tonight:

LOS (-3) v. Lion’s Den – Eventually the A Team will show up, right?  Two weeks ago it was no Precious or Putt Putt Pass.  Last week it was no Putt Putt Pass and Stiffy (which was a bit of addition by subtraction in the case of Stiffy).  You know who never misses?  Cheese.  He strolls into the lanes, dragging three balls and has his lady carry in his fourth ball, even though he has a locker here.  He did not join this league to be a part timer like his teammates.  I say this week the good version of LOS appears, and Lion’s Den get crushed.

Gotta admire Lions Den bringing in a house ball rolling dude onto the squad and then beer framing him.  Repeatedly.  I’m talking about Steven Ricci.  Based on a quick google search, he should consider a name change. (Seriously)  They also added Mr. Florida, who seems to be the only guy in the league who doesn’t know which bench is his.  Playing to his Spartacus roots, and staking claim to any seat he wants.  Just try that with LOS…let’s see how it plays out.

Spartacus rallying the troops:

Cheese’s Response:

Jesus, why don’t you guys set a time to fight under the Boardwalk or something:

Editors Note 1:  Nothing in these lines should be taken seriously

Editors Note 2: Cheese can’t make it this week, which will be the only time we should not expect to see him all season.

GOB (-1) v. BUI – If there was a way I could predict a loss for both, I would.  But someone has to win I suppose.  So I’m picking GOB over the dumpster fire BUI squad.  Speaking of dumpsters, have you seen Whisky Pete’s new digs:

Turns out things might not be so bad after all!  A long trip to grassland and waking up in a pile of trash, sounds like a typical Saturday for Holden Green!  Why does Thunder crush BUI in the lines so much?  I’m not sold on his take, but it is funny so I am going to keep it going.  Even with G Unit rolling very well lately…

But I digress.  GOB has Seatown, that’s why they’ll win.  They also have Invisible Hand, so you never know.

Leisure Trolls (-1) v. Average Eskibros – I happened to check the standings for the first time last weekend, and I was surprised to see Leisure Rolls an unbeaten team.  Also saw that the Eskibros had 2 losses.  Ouch.  I heard one of those losses was to TDYOB!  Roll Bork!

Some how, some way, local drunk Dutch continues to roll very well while trying not to get busted handing out beers.  Well played, Dutch.  Well played.  Here he is trying to get away with distribution in the bathroom, and Joe the Bartender tries to prevent it.

Average Eskibros thought they were going to waltz on in to Thursday and crush everyone.  And what they have realized is that there are a lot of mediocre teams that can beat them on Thursdays.  And Leisure Rolls are a team that always finds a way to win.  You don’t always know if it will be a big game from Magic who must be psyched to be getting paid for the first time in a while, Insanal who just sold a ton of Toilet Paper, or D$ who’s a better bowler than both of them.  The Eskibros will be just fine, but this will be a bit of a kick to the balls tonight in a narrow loss to Leisure Rolls.

Bowled and Beautiful (-3) v. 5 Finger Discount

Saw:  “Hey Rufio, remember when we were in A last year?”

Rufio: “Of course I do, I’m not an idiot”

Saw: “It sucked, huh?”

Rufio: “Big Time”

Well well well what do we have here.  We meet again.  Both of these teams have not had super smooth transitions to B.  B&B even lost to Lesbowlians!  I mean, come on!  Tonight they will battle for the Best Former Thursday A Team in B trophy, also known as the Badger Bowl.  Named in honor of Guacabowle’s Badger, the Nastiest Bowler Who Has Sucked Since He Joined BoPo (or NBWHSSHJBoPo for short)

Expect a lot of bowling like this tonight in this match:

ICBING (-9) v. Strike City – ICBING’s plan of B Domination while airing their grievances with Urea! continues this week with a very fun matchup with our local zebra-wearing crew Strike City.  Here’s Magnus approaching Peanut Gutter who, surprise surprise, was eating something:

All he wanted to do was introduce himself, and Peanut Gutter goes and plays him like that!? ICBING’s ace, Suave Lefty, is a neighbor and buddy of Fabio, so this isn’t a one year rental.  The guy is here to stay on that team.  So Fabio would like to tell all you wannbe’s to back off.  He also says he knows Kung Fu:

I’ve heard word that The Brush has been down for some Afternoon Delight rolling sessions lately.  Which is how it begins.  Next thing you know Strike City will all have bowling shoes and their own balls as well.  And then will come a 130 average.

FC Portland (-7) v. Bad News Spares –  A brother sister battle this evening with Ramrod and team winning easy over Striking Senorita and Bad News Spares.  All Star Oolie will hope and pray that he keeps rolling so well to maintain his spot, but even if he doesn’t they will be totally fine.

Strike a Pose is leading the charge for Bad News Spares with a 130 average.  They have 4 bowlers with 110 or less averages.  Pretty sure that will not get it done against anybody, even Strike City.  And it definitely won’t get it done against FC Portland.

Hey, I’m just keeping it real….is that bad?

What a tune:



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