Space Farmer Is Back With Early Lines, Unedited and Unreviewed!

Welcome back everyone! Seems like it instantly cooled off once we had our draft, so it must be rolling season! Woo hoo!
For those new to the league, we do previews of the matches most weeks, and try to make fun of asmany people as we can along the way, and sometimes we even predict a winner. If you don’t like to laugh, probably not the post for you.
I am very excited to be back at the lanes, and I look forward to seeing most of you. Hungus has beenpracticing his bell ringing skills, just hoping for an early bowloff:

So now you know what to expect in these lines….Its hard to get back in the flow of the lines, so this week’s are pretty tame, but I promise I will try harder next week. And the week after that. I have the early matches this week, and we start with a pre-season favorite:

Glossy Mexican (-5) v. Danny Diesel – Glossy finds himself atop the power rankings week 1, and its easy to see why. Frankie Abralon, Jr. Hoss, Ice Ice Mary and Glossy make for a formidable top 4. But then again did you watch Glossy roll last spring? Pretty sure Ice Ice Mary only took 12 days off from bowling
all summer, so she’s ready. Add in a couple of dudes with bricks and the firmly getting sucked into BoPo Frankie, these guys will win a lot of matches. Pencil them in for the semis. Danny grabbed HBK to start and went with the combo of Badger/Dude for round 2. Attendance will be a factor for this team’s results, but tonight they could bring in anyone and still lose. Here’s hoping Danny
doesn’t lose the locker key this season, that was embarrassing. Here are HBK, T$, and Badger offering the anchor spot to Danny:

Hakeem (-1) v. Ruby Canary – This will be a close one. These early season matchups can go anydirection. Hakeem and Ruby picked next to each other in the draft, and Hakeem netted Couch and Sparetime early, while Ruby went with Cygnus (side note….no Luna this fall?!) and BoPo newbie King
Ding Dong. Love the name, but time will tell if the scene for BoPo works for him or not. I think there will be a settling in period, and that gets Hakeem the win.
Nugget (-3) v. Cupcake – This one was tough to predict for me. Nobody’s been bowling too much except for Boys McCraken….hey man, it’s summer, get outside! Or at least get upstairs to the roof! Love the roof…
Nugget drafted Tango then Squeaky G, and added her winglady in Kelly Kabowlski. Cupcake drafted Tommy Gunzzz and Tilt-A-Whirl, and don’t sleep on Garlic Jones. That guy struck twice in the BoPro Am finals, only to see Kyle Sherman miss a chance at glory. I think this is a close one, but I’ll take Nugget in week 1.
Match of the Night (On the West Side) !!!! Magic (-1) v. Walter – A powerhouse matchup, if you ask this fearless prognosticator. Walter landed a great 1-2 punch with Viking and E-Minor, and Magic will respond with Buck Ripcord and Brooklyn. Walter landed Beach 2 Beacon runner Stephen Kingpin and
his lady Inferno, Magic grabbed G Unit and mystery bowler L-Mac. Geez, both teams are stacked.

On the new side of the house tonight, this will be a close one. But I always go for the teams with more bowlers who started rolling not at Bayside when the matches are held on the East Side. Just a different vibe over there. End of the season both of these teams will be in the mix, with Magic getting a big Head-
2-Head win tonight.
Doc Moose (-5) v. Holden Green – This is Holden’s first year of captaining, and from the looks of his team, they are headed for a very fun season, filled with lots of laughs, a few strikes, and even fewer wins. Doc Moose drafted for height, scoring Precious in round 1, and also landing tall guy Train
Conductor. Zip is allegedly a secret weapon that the bowling nerd in Doc Moose recruited, so looks like a good win for Doc Moose to open the season. I’ve heard tell that Holden is naming his team The Hole
Package. So I googled it….click it if you dare:

That wasn’t as bad as I was worried it would be, but should be fun to see them try to play that game. Holden stocked up on fun people, and surprised a lot with the Bora Bora pick in round 1. No doubt this team will party hard and have a blast, but they lack the firepower to get too many points tonight. But
he will still finish strong, as he always does:

Natro (-15) v. Pineapple – Natro is the first team to come up against Pineapple’s squad of ladies. It’s great to see that her team is bringing in a few new bowlers to the family, and they will quickly learn that they are out-matched every week. Natro and his twin Fake-Natro, errrr, Dutch, will be more than enough to get the win. Natro also added fake-Squatch, aka The Cleaner, so maybe that’s a thing for him. Natro and Dutch before the match:

An oldie but a goodie.
Hexy (-3) v. Crow Bar – Crow Bar’s plan to pick Nut Sauce caused Thunder to steal Mitch from me, so I am forever rooting against this crew. It’s an early match, so they will have Mokiki, but I don’t think he and Hambone can keep up with Herb’n Legend and Lobsterman? (I am keeping the question mark in his
name until I am told differently). Nut Sauce is a stud, but there isn’t enough pins going down outside of her for them to get the win.
I usually end with music, but instead I will try to end the lines with a joke each week, and know that virtually none of them will be clean:

My answer would have been this: That was some great acting!
See you tonight!

4 thoughts on “Space Farmer Is Back With Early Lines, Unedited and Unreviewed!

  1. Great matches last night, had a blast as always. Thanks for the pre-season love everyone, y’all rock!

  2. Bro, we are supposed to be buddies, I know we shit on each other ad nauseam, but bringing up Kyle Sherman is low even for you…..

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